Renaissance of Enchantment
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Chapter One, Part 2"It was their world long before our existence...
23 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Maggie's a decent sort, I guess life, as they say, has dealt her a dud hand, but she's a great central character, and at the moment, her life seems relatively uncomplicated, and by the very nature of her job, she can kind, albeit fleetingly. Great setting for a story, the minor characters are described well enough, with enough scope to fill in the lines. Mystery Mam-bun, (that's what my wife calls men with s bun.) well done Yvette, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
  |
Maggie's a decent sort, I guess life, as they say, has dealt her a dud hand, but she's a great central character, and at the moment, her life seems relatively uncomplicated, and by the very nature of her job, she can kind, albeit fleetingly. Great setting for a story, the minor characters are described well enough, with enough scope to fill in the lines. Mystery Mam-bun, (that's what my wife calls men with s bun.) well done Yvette, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
-
Thanx for the wonderful comments, Roy -- so appreciated....and, yeah, I actually have a student who has a 'man bun' .... of course, he has hair that most women would die for! :) LOL! Y'all take care of each other over there! :) Yvette
-
Of course
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written second part of chapter one. To fall in love with someone you see and stalk him from a distance. He seems to be aware of her interest in him and don't know how to handle the attention.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
|
A very well-written second part of chapter one. To fall in love with someone you see and stalk him from a distance. He seems to be aware of her interest in him and don't know how to handle the attention.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
-
Thank you for taking the time to read my prose, Sandra -- that truly means a lot, ma'am! :) ;) Blessings for the week ahead for your verses and beyond! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Maggie seems to be making her mark and sounds like a force to be reckoned with! I am enjoying your story Yvette, good luck with it, best wishes . . . . love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
|
Maggie seems to be making her mark and sounds like a force to be reckoned with! I am enjoying your story Yvette, good luck with it, best wishes . . . . love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
-
Thank you for taking the time to read my prose, Dolly -- that truly means a lot, ma'am! :) ;) Blessings for the week ahead for your verses and beyond! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from robyn corum
Yvette,
Clear to see we're leading up to something... but I haven't the foggiest notion what it might be. I don't know whether to be excited over a potential new romance or terrified over an oncoming threatening situation.
It's a puzzle. I'm ready for the next installment. Thank you!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
|
Yvette,
Clear to see we're leading up to something... but I haven't the foggiest notion what it might be. I don't know whether to be excited over a potential new romance or terrified over an oncoming threatening situation.
It's a puzzle. I'm ready for the next installment. Thank you!
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
-
Thanx for the review, Robyn -- hope you are enjoying! :) Thanx for staying tuned! ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oops--I just started to read this and remembered a little tidbit I wanted to say about the last part... I'm still grinning over the name of the cat food. These little details do make a story shine, IMO. :))
...like... the biker who may have grunted, but Maggie couldn't hear if he had over the noise of the rain. This is exceptional scene 'anchoring'.
Okay, now I'm starting to wonder if Addison is her son...
I say again -- great pacing! When a plot has your reader guessing, it means you are leading them further into the story. :)))
Provided of course that the answers are given further on...(LOL) Continuity must be maintained too... It's a bit more difficult a feat when posting like this, in pieces. (FanStory) In a manuscript, you don't have to keep reading back as often.
May I gripe at this point? What I'm writing in this review is exactly why I sometimes feel like Rodney Dangerfeild here. I do not believe some self-proclaimed 'experts' know these things, yet seven years here and I have watched one after another newer member being put up; people I have helped. *sigh* I've almost quit a number of times.
Anyway, boo-hoo, poor me. The rewards outweigh these pesky details... Back to your review. :)))
...of which there's nothing left to say except "more please". Soon. :)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
Oops--I just started to read this and remembered a little tidbit I wanted to say about the last part... I'm still grinning over the name of the cat food. These little details do make a story shine, IMO. :))
...like... the biker who may have grunted, but Maggie couldn't hear if he had over the noise of the rain. This is exceptional scene 'anchoring'.
Okay, now I'm starting to wonder if Addison is her son...
I say again -- great pacing! When a plot has your reader guessing, it means you are leading them further into the story. :)))
Provided of course that the answers are given further on...(LOL) Continuity must be maintained too... It's a bit more difficult a feat when posting like this, in pieces. (FanStory) In a manuscript, you don't have to keep reading back as often.
May I gripe at this point? What I'm writing in this review is exactly why I sometimes feel like Rodney Dangerfeild here. I do not believe some self-proclaimed 'experts' know these things, yet seven years here and I have watched one after another newer member being put up; people I have helped. *sigh* I've almost quit a number of times.
Anyway, boo-hoo, poor me. The rewards outweigh these pesky details... Back to your review. :)))
...of which there's nothing left to say except "more please". Soon. :)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
I promise, things become clearer as the story progresses....it's just that this was written as a novel, not as little snippets to be remembered over weeks at a time. I'm so glad that you figured out that I truly am painting a complete picture of Maggie's world without taking on the role of narrator...this is a fantasy write meaning a narration would almost 'ruin' things...the reader has to see what the characters see and discover things as they do for the 'reality' of what is actually going on to 'sink in'. :) ;) :) Some things here might not be crystal clear until chapters in...but I'll probably lose folks by then -- please promise me you'll try to hold on! :) :) :) Thanx for your support -- it is awesome!! ;) ;) Yvette
-
Oh, I will be in on it as much as possible -- I am hooked.
I know exactly where you're coming from. I have about seven novels on the go, but I stopped posting here. Not a few kept trying to rush the plot, even though I'd hint that it wasn't a short story.
-
Oh, and I forgot to recognize your cat food comment.....hope it's not 'deal's name - LOL! I actually enjoyed naming it. ;) ;) Thank you for you (oh, and Miss Priss). ;) Both of you take care! ;) Yvette ;)
-
:) It's not, as far as I know anyway. LOL
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I think Maggie felt no one should be ignored because her father ignored her and sent her away. Where is she now? Where is her son? I really would like to know if it's not supposed to be a secret. It would help to picture them in my mind. :)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
I think Maggie felt no one should be ignored because her father ignored her and sent her away. Where is she now? Where is her son? I really would like to know if it's not supposed to be a secret. It would help to picture them in my mind. :)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
Thanx for the review, Phyllis. :) Maggie is working in New York. It is 6 1/2 years later. Addy is not her son, he is Dorothy's and Dorothy is dead. That's really about all I can tell you right now. Her world is that diner and Addy. Have a wonderful evening! :) :) ;) Yvette
-
Thanks. That helps.
Comment from TheStoryMan
Mr. Man-bun certainly seemed to be acting strangely when he was leaving. He could have simply been uncomfortable with the attention. Why do I get the feeling Maggie is in danger? This is very well written.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
Mr. Man-bun certainly seemed to be acting strangely when he was leaving. He could have simply been uncomfortable with the attention. Why do I get the feeling Maggie is in danger? This is very well written.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
Hooray! You caught that...yeah...you just might be right ... about him being uncomfortable...:) ;) :) Thanx so much for stopping in, Story Man -- hope you stay tuned for more! :) :) Yvette :)
Comment from Miranda Langston
really enjoyed reading the second half of this chapter. it was very entertaining. this is really good writing. i look forward to seeing what you come up with next
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
really enjoyed reading the second half of this chapter. it was very entertaining. this is really good writing. i look forward to seeing what you come up with next
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
Thanx for the read and review, Miranda -- appreciate your taking the time. :)
Comment from Teresa Alford
Interesting chapter.....this story is moving along very well...I look forward to reading more and seeing how the story develops. Keep on writing. Teresa. ";-)
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
Interesting chapter.....this story is moving along very well...I look forward to reading more and seeing how the story develops. Keep on writing. Teresa. ";-)
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
Thanx so much for stopping in, Teresa -- glad you're enjoying. :) ;) Take care! :) Yvette
Comment from Debbie Pope
No six stars yet, Yvette. I would have given this chapter one for sure. I call this chapter "Developinging Characterization." You have made me like several characters that I did not know before. Maggie--who insists that all people be acknowledged.
Sir Ed--my favorite, who has assumed "the job" of walking Maggie home
unknown couples--with their "protective posture"
Mr Man-bun-with the geniune smile, he actually buys something from Maggie.
Not sure about him though. He is mysterious, and he has a funny name
Lars--poor drunk who depends on Maggie
Homeless customers--how can you not like them?
You are creating a diner community. I am getting attached.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
|
No six stars yet, Yvette. I would have given this chapter one for sure. I call this chapter "Developinging Characterization." You have made me like several characters that I did not know before. Maggie--who insists that all people be acknowledged.
Sir Ed--my favorite, who has assumed "the job" of walking Maggie home
unknown couples--with their "protective posture"
Mr Man-bun-with the geniune smile, he actually buys something from Maggie.
Not sure about him though. He is mysterious, and he has a funny name
Lars--poor drunk who depends on Maggie
Homeless customers--how can you not like them?
You are creating a diner community. I am getting attached.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
-
Don't worry - Man-bun is just how Maggie refers to him (guess I'll go back and add that somewhere) -- it's how my students 'talk about' other students and people...they give them the "mister sumthing-or-another" or "miss you-know-what". :) ;) LOL! :) I think it's hilarious! :) :) You know their name for President Trump is Mr. Orange Man or simply Orange Man? I mean, they name everybody like that! :) So glad you're enjoying there's a bit more here and then your world will change completely....maybe even come closer to home...:) ;) ;) Yvette
