The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "A Matter of Moolah"A Novel
32 total reviews
Comment from estory
Crisp dialogue lays out the path for a return to Paris, courtesy of sir David and his idea to transport paintings. Something's afoot, and Charles agrees to the plan, and a chance to meet up with Kayla again and possibly find out what Colonel Arnoux was up to. The thing in the back of the mind is: What's Sir David up to? How is he involved? The suspense is building again. Fine personality comes through in the writing and lends an interesting touch to this. estory
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Crisp dialogue lays out the path for a return to Paris, courtesy of sir David and his idea to transport paintings. Something's afoot, and Charles agrees to the plan, and a chance to meet up with Kayla again and possibly find out what Colonel Arnoux was up to. The thing in the back of the mind is: What's Sir David up to? How is he involved? The suspense is building again. Fine personality comes through in the writing and lends an interesting touch to this. estory
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Many thanks for your continued engagement with my story and for your encouragement, estory. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Mastery
Hello, Tony. Very well done chapter here, once again.
Great imagery and dialogue: " I watched him disappear into the crowd in the main concourse, coattails flapping, the very image of the White Rabbit. I smiled like the Cheshire Cat, and gradually disappeared into my own small world of conjecture."
Suggestions: Start a new paragraph with this text: "What induced her to follow that path? Money, perhaps? Exchanging the backwater ......"
And, I suggest you add something to this text in order to make it more comprehensive; "I needed to find out. Could Gaston Arnoux be holding the key? (key to what?)
Begin a new paragraph with this text: "Bright lights have blinded many a young girl to the darkness and depravity concealed, like a rot. . . . ." (Otherwise the paragraph if currently is a part of seems too long. break it up somehow.)
And here: Begin a new paragraph with this text: "He waited for my reaction, but I remained impassive. Stunned is a more accurate description. "They would fit neatly into your suitcase, and he would pay handsomely to have them delivered in time for the opening. That's it, in a nutshell."
Good job, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Hello, Tony. Very well done chapter here, once again.
Great imagery and dialogue: " I watched him disappear into the crowd in the main concourse, coattails flapping, the very image of the White Rabbit. I smiled like the Cheshire Cat, and gradually disappeared into my own small world of conjecture."
Suggestions: Start a new paragraph with this text: "What induced her to follow that path? Money, perhaps? Exchanging the backwater ......"
And, I suggest you add something to this text in order to make it more comprehensive; "I needed to find out. Could Gaston Arnoux be holding the key? (key to what?)
Begin a new paragraph with this text: "Bright lights have blinded many a young girl to the darkness and depravity concealed, like a rot. . . . ." (Otherwise the paragraph if currently is a part of seems too long. break it up somehow.)
And here: Begin a new paragraph with this text: "He waited for my reaction, but I remained impassive. Stunned is a more accurate description. "They would fit neatly into your suitcase, and he would pay handsomely to have them delivered in time for the opening. That's it, in a nutshell."
Good job, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much for your review and the sixth star, Bob. Much appreciated. Thanks, too, for your advice re paragraphing. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter the meeting with Sir David seems to open an opportunity to make some good money and a chance to go back to France to complete the unfinished business.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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A very well-written chapter the meeting with Sir David seems to open an opportunity to make some good money and a chance to go back to France to complete the unfinished business.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Many thanks for your review and continued engagement with my story. Much appreciated. Tony.
Comment from Treischel
Here we focus on the letter itself, drawing intrigue and interest from its content.
You have a wonderful way with words, and here is a prime example:
"Bright lights have blinded many a young girl to the darkness and depravity concealed, like a rotting corpse, beneath the veneer." Excellent Simile.
Finally the proposition is revealed. Incredulous. Loved the play on cash, and another sweet simile on one-armed bandits.
Love all your colorful descriptions.
The waitress with the lisp a good touch. Humor and repulsion, with cautious response.
We uninitiated get to experience the London train system, that you describe so well.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Here we focus on the letter itself, drawing intrigue and interest from its content.
You have a wonderful way with words, and here is a prime example:
"Bright lights have blinded many a young girl to the darkness and depravity concealed, like a rotting corpse, beneath the veneer." Excellent Simile.
Finally the proposition is revealed. Incredulous. Loved the play on cash, and another sweet simile on one-armed bandits.
Love all your colorful descriptions.
The waitress with the lisp a good touch. Humor and repulsion, with cautious response.
We uninitiated get to experience the London train system, that you describe so well.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
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Many thanks for your supportive comments, Tom. Much appreciated. I wasn?t sure from your response to a review of mine, but I?m curious to know if you are considering taking part in Jim?s rhyming class? I have half a mind to.
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I am not planning to at this point due to personal constraints.
Comment from lyenochka
Another well done chapter and I liked your literary allusions. But I don't think Sir David is quite as innocent as the White Rabbit. I smell something fishy about him and Charles should really avoid him like the plague. That's just a gut reaction.
Do you really leave a tip in England?
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Another well done chapter and I liked your literary allusions. But I don't think Sir David is quite as innocent as the White Rabbit. I smell something fishy about him and Charles should really avoid him like the plague. That's just a gut reaction.
Do you really leave a tip in England?
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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No, perhaps not as innocent as the White Rabbit!
I think that tipping in England is mainly confined to taxi drivers and hairdressers. It?s now comparatively rare in restaurants, most of which have service included. However, some people do leave a tip on top of that if the service is very good.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is another good chapter, Tony. You did a good job with the setting in the café and the dialogue throughout the story. I believe Sir David has ulterior motives about having Charles carry the paintings to Paris. I believe there will be something hidden behind them in the back under the frame. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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This is another good chapter, Tony. You did a good job with the setting in the café and the dialogue throughout the story. I believe Sir David has ulterior motives about having Charles carry the paintings to Paris. I believe there will be something hidden behind them in the back under the frame. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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I?m getting all sorts of ideas from reviewers about where to take this next! Thanks for your predictions. They may turn out to be right. Who knows? I?m sure I don?t at this stage. LOL
Comment from Rob Caudle
Well done Tony. One or two canvasses I think not there is much more a foot. I have to admit to becoming a star struck fan and can offer little advice as I am totally consumed by the story and you skill in telling it.
Rob
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Well done Tony. One or two canvasses I think not there is much more a foot. I have to admit to becoming a star struck fan and can offer little advice as I am totally consumed by the story and you skill in telling it.
Rob
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Very many thanks for your kind words and support, Rob - not to mention the six shining stars. I'm a bit behind with things at the moment, but will try to get around to reviewing your latest work soon. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sally Law
Sorry it has taken me so long to catch up with you Tony. This is outstanding, as always. My favorite line, among many, is when Charles resisted the urge to throw up the partially digested oysters on Sir David's pink shirt. I felt I was seated at the table watching the look on Charles's face.
One little nit. The entire sentence seems off, possibly a typo. It should read ...served me right for mimicking her limp, I think. Easily fixed.
All my best,
Sal :+)
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Sorry it has taken me so long to catch up with you Tony. This is outstanding, as always. My favorite line, among many, is when Charles resisted the urge to throw up the partially digested oysters on Sir David's pink shirt. I felt I was seated at the table watching the look on Charles's face.
One little nit. The entire sentence seems off, possibly a typo. It should read ...served me right for mimicking her limp, I think. Easily fixed.
All my best,
Sal :+)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much for your review, Sal. The sentence you referred to (Therved me right for mimicking her lithp) was also mimicking the lisp (Served me right for mimicking her lisp). Rather heavy-handed humour, which puzzled several reviewers. I've now changed it. Thanks for the heads-up. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sugarray77
You continue to keep it interesting, Tony, with your cast of characters, good dialogue and foreign travel and locations. I would mention that in the fifth paragraph from the end, when you write about Sir Davids Vichy water... there is a misspelled word...Thereved.... just an observation.
Melissa
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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You continue to keep it interesting, Tony, with your cast of characters, good dialogue and foreign travel and locations. I would mention that in the fifth paragraph from the end, when you write about Sir Davids Vichy water... there is a misspelled word...Thereved.... just an observation.
Melissa
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much for your review, Melissa. The sentence you referred to (Therved me right for mimicking her lithp) was also mimicking the lisp (Served me right for mimicking her lisp). Rather heavy-handed humour, which puzzled several reviewers. I've now changed it. Thanks for the heads-up. All the best, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony, another great chapter and as you know, I love this story. Not only is it so well written but also so well told. Anyway, what is this all about, I wonder. Something is very off. No wonder Charles needs a few days away from it all.
However, I wasn't unduly worried, as there is a frequent service to the West Country from Paddington. I'm curious. Would you put a comma before 'as'? All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Hi Tony, another great chapter and as you know, I love this story. Not only is it so well written but also so well told. Anyway, what is this all about, I wonder. Something is very off. No wonder Charles needs a few days away from it all.
However, I wasn't unduly worried, as there is a frequent service to the West Country from Paddington. I'm curious. Would you put a comma before 'as'? All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 27-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
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Very many thanks, Ulla, for your review and the extra star. Much appreciated! I'm not sure if that comma is technically correct. I'm always being pulled up for my use of commas, especially by Rama Devi! LOL I tend to read out loud when proofreading, and place commas where I hear a natural pause, either for breath or for sense.
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I have no idea, hence I asked you. As you know, English is not my first language and commas tend to baffle me. I do as you. I read it out loud and put a comma where there's a natural pause. I just want to learn. LOL
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I've always thought that the best way. What are commas for, if not to guide the reader?
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So true!
