Promises, Promises
Triple 5-7-512 total reviews
Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno
Writers block coupled with time and family commitments makes that pen nib go dry... still looks like you managed to squeeze some fine ink (if somewhat short) here! You always take the moment and make people realise the predicament, carpe diem, seize the day, the moment and.... chuckle, coz tomorrow never comes according to the saying! Nice little ditty and a smile raiser again.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Writers block coupled with time and family commitments makes that pen nib go dry... still looks like you managed to squeeze some fine ink (if somewhat short) here! You always take the moment and make people realise the predicament, carpe diem, seize the day, the moment and.... chuckle, coz tomorrow never comes according to the saying! Nice little ditty and a smile raiser again.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much! I really do appreciate your lovely feedback :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from JennaG
I can so relate to your series of 5-7-5's. Life seems to keep getting in the way of my writing, too. Then when I do find the time to write, the words just won't come. It's so frustrating! I like the way you expressed this in a triple 5-7-5. Your syllable count is perfect all the way through. And, I also really like your "d" and "f" alliteration. I really enjoyed this piece! Best wishes for finding some good quality writing time! :)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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I can so relate to your series of 5-7-5's. Life seems to keep getting in the way of my writing, too. Then when I do find the time to write, the words just won't come. It's so frustrating! I like the way you expressed this in a triple 5-7-5. Your syllable count is perfect all the way through. And, I also really like your "d" and "f" alliteration. I really enjoyed this piece! Best wishes for finding some good quality writing time! :)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much, Jenna, for your lovely feedback :) I appreciate it! Hope you find some time also ;)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from robyn corum
Debra,
Whhhaaattt??!!! What is this language of which you speak? I just do not understand. Children, grandchildren, life events, circumstances - things that get in the way and interrupt your writing time? Nope... this does not compute.
Oh... hang on. I have to change positions. My nose is growing too big and I can't see the screen anymore.
Nooow. That's better. *smile*
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Debra,
Whhhaaattt??!!! What is this language of which you speak? I just do not understand. Children, grandchildren, life events, circumstances - things that get in the way and interrupt your writing time? Nope... this does not compute.
Oh... hang on. I have to change positions. My nose is growing too big and I can't see the screen anymore.
Nooow. That's better. *smile*
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Cheers Robyn! I enjoyed your fun feedback, thanks :)
Best wishes, Debra
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Debra,
This message speaks for millions of us writers in this world. So much we want to write about but so little time. It is important to spend qualiy time with your lovely daughters. The writing will find a way to happen eventually.
- "devour my each tic and toc" - this line doesn't make sense to me.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Hi Debra,
This message speaks for millions of us writers in this world. So much we want to write about but so little time. It is important to spend qualiy time with your lovely daughters. The writing will find a way to happen eventually.
- "devour my each tic and toc" - this line doesn't make sense to me.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Hi Joy, thank you for your lovely feedback and for asking about the line you didn?t understand... it means that the girls ate up all my time (tic and toc being the noise the clock makes) I hope this clears it up for you 😊 Thanks again, kind regards, Debra
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Nope. It's not a good sentence is what I mean.
- devour my (time) tic and toc
- devour my (lunch) tic and toc
- devour my (love) tic and toc
These lines would make sense to me. I don't know how to, "devour my each..."
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Ah ok, my mistake!
Thanks for pointing it out.
I?ll see if I can work out another way of saying the same thing that makes better sense to the reader.
Kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment from RichardFann
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Debra,
Great story. Fell off my chair laughing. Just recovered my composure.
Great Pic!
Can I do the pic first?
Then move on to the text, but not too quickly.
It has to be a smooth, slow transition.
Am trying to see what the schematic diagram represents.
Is it a toaster?
Is it a finger nail?
[Am I getting close?]
Is it a bin that swings?
A swinger bin?
Nothing sticks out for me.
Let's move on to the text.
Great poem. Have two grown up daughters,
and yes, when they were little, I could never drink.
I was the perpetual motion taxi!
Must admit I had no clue about being a good parent,
so am glad the younger generation does. In the main.
Liked the way 'toc' sort of rhymes with 'crossed.'
Very clever, and comfortable for the ear.
Liked the italics "something" and may use that format in some of my text.
Tomorrow I, and all your avid followers, look forward to your next dramatic philosophical poem. We wait on tenterhooks, as it were.
Or, as it were not, as the case may be.
Must stop this rubbish.
Now.
Thanks,
Richard.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Debra,
Great story. Fell off my chair laughing. Just recovered my composure.
Great Pic!
Can I do the pic first?
Then move on to the text, but not too quickly.
It has to be a smooth, slow transition.
Am trying to see what the schematic diagram represents.
Is it a toaster?
Is it a finger nail?
[Am I getting close?]
Is it a bin that swings?
A swinger bin?
Nothing sticks out for me.
Let's move on to the text.
Great poem. Have two grown up daughters,
and yes, when they were little, I could never drink.
I was the perpetual motion taxi!
Must admit I had no clue about being a good parent,
so am glad the younger generation does. In the main.
Liked the way 'toc' sort of rhymes with 'crossed.'
Very clever, and comfortable for the ear.
Liked the italics "something" and may use that format in some of my text.
Tomorrow I, and all your avid followers, look forward to your next dramatic philosophical poem. We wait on tenterhooks, as it were.
Or, as it were not, as the case may be.
Must stop this rubbish.
Now.
Thanks,
Richard.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
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Richard (no hi...see, I take notice!)
Thank you for your fab feedback - you are very thorough.
Ok, the pic... look at it sideways and it is in fact a capital D which adorns the from of my jotter. D for Debra. It was a gift.
I get the whole taxiing thing - I live that life now, or Shaun does - we take it in turns mostly. I'm sure you did great parenting wise. There's no instructions, we all just do our best - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and so then we try something else. I'm still trying!
Thanks for telling me which parts of the poem you enjoyed - means I'm safe to employ those techniques again ;)
Please be careful when reading. I'm worried about the falling off your chair thing - you've done it a couple of times and I don't want you to get hurt.
Bye for now,
Debra :)
Comment from patcelaw
I am of the belief that when we hit the wall with out writing, that the best thing we can do is to keep writing. In time the muse will return. Good luck in your day and may your muse quickly return. Patricia
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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I am of the belief that when we hit the wall with out writing, that the best thing we can do is to keep writing. In time the muse will return. Good luck in your day and may your muse quickly return. Patricia
Comment Written 23-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Thank you Pat 😀 I?ve plenty to write, It?s the lack of time that is the problem!
Regards, Debra
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like your triple 5-7-5 poems, Debra.
-The syllable count is good, and I
like the progression of the poems.
-I like the last line of the first one,
and how you had good intentions, but...
-Effective use of alliteration in the second
that shows the importance of family;
it does come first.
-I like how you promise yourself in the
last one, and have hope for tomorrow!
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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-I like your triple 5-7-5 poems, Debra.
-The syllable count is good, and I
like the progression of the poems.
-I like the last line of the first one,
and how you had good intentions, but...
-Effective use of alliteration in the second
that shows the importance of family;
it does come first.
-I like how you promise yourself in the
last one, and have hope for tomorrow!
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Hi Pam :)
Thank you so much for your lovely feedback. It's good to know what works well and I appreciate the time you took over your comments.
Best wishes, Debra :)
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You are very welcome, Debra. I enjoyed your poems. It is nice when there is something to think about.
Comment from QC Poet
Got to Love and help those God given distractions LOL!
Cute, funny ditty.
Keep writing and posting.
God's Blessings to you and your family and your family.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Got to Love and help those God given distractions LOL!
Cute, funny ditty.
Keep writing and posting.
God's Blessings to you and your family and your family.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Hi! Thank you so much for your lovely feedback :)
Comment from BeasPeas
Nice. We are all dragged in one direction or the other by commitments. Just do the best you can. These 5-7-5 are amusing and speak for most of us. Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Nice. We are all dragged in one direction or the other by commitments. Just do the best you can. These 5-7-5 are amusing and speak for most of us. Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Thank you, Marilyn :)
Glad you found it relatable.
Kind regards, Debra :)
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, family is first. No condemnation there, not from me anyway. This is cute and fresh. Although I write every day, I lead a mich smaller and simpler life. Writing is something I love to do--really compelled to do. It's hard for me to resist. I always have a story in my head. I am glad to see you devoting your life to your family. I admire that in a person more than any other quality.
All my best,
Sal ,+)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Oh, family is first. No condemnation there, not from me anyway. This is cute and fresh. Although I write every day, I lead a mich smaller and simpler life. Writing is something I love to do--really compelled to do. It's hard for me to resist. I always have a story in my head. I am glad to see you devoting your life to your family. I admire that in a person more than any other quality.
All my best,
Sal ,+)
Comment Written 22-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
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Ah thank you, Sal :)
I love my lot, wouldn't have it any other way (although I would just love a couple of extra hours in the day to recharge!)
Best wishes, Debra
