Miscellaneous Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Fade to Black"Poems not in other books
55 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I was pleased to see that your sonnet was well received in the contest. I admired your intriguing title, illustration and alternating rhymes. The image of the moth was quite compelling. Well done! -Joan
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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I was pleased to see that your sonnet was well received in the contest. I admired your intriguing title, illustration and alternating rhymes. The image of the moth was quite compelling. Well done! -Joan
Comment Written 04-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2019
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Thanks so much, Joan. I appreciate the lovely comments; glad you liked. Craig
Comment from trimple
Good morning to you, Craig
Well well well! Aren't you the clever one.
A superb Shakespearean sonnet, with some splendid a metaphors.
Your moth to the flame is an oldie of course, but you have used this to great advantage here.
Love and all its pitfalls along with a drop of death perhaps, reeks from the page. I love it.
I am no spert on sonnets, although I have written a couple. As far as I can tell anyway, this is in fine order and I see no spagaroonies to pick up on.
I wish you luck in this competitive contest.
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Good morning to you, Craig
Well well well! Aren't you the clever one.
A superb Shakespearean sonnet, with some splendid a metaphors.
Your moth to the flame is an oldie of course, but you have used this to great advantage here.
Love and all its pitfalls along with a drop of death perhaps, reeks from the page. I love it.
I am no spert on sonnets, although I have written a couple. As far as I can tell anyway, this is in fine order and I see no spagaroonies to pick up on.
I wish you luck in this competitive contest.
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 28-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much, Tracey, for the great comments and the good luck wishes. It's always a very popular contest, so they'll be needed :) Cheers, Craig
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Yes, they are. I should get my sweet arse in gear :)
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The pleasure was all mine. :)
Comment from catch22
Hi Craig, this is a lovely sonnet. There is really so much to like here--from the impeccable use of meter to the natural rhythm of modern spoken language. I also really liked the theme--starting with a powerful metaphor of physical attraction of a moth to a destructive flame, and ending with a decision to be free by scorning the allure of attraction. Very cool write--sort of an anti-love poem.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Hi Craig, this is a lovely sonnet. There is really so much to like here--from the impeccable use of meter to the natural rhythm of modern spoken language. I also really liked the theme--starting with a powerful metaphor of physical attraction of a moth to a destructive flame, and ending with a decision to be free by scorning the allure of attraction. Very cool write--sort of an anti-love poem.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comments and the delightful rating, Pam. Anti-love poem is a cool description - it also reminds me I've got a few hours left if I'm to submit something for the love poem contest (for a bit of balance, maybe?) Most grateful, Craig.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Terrific, Craig!
I love the symbolism of spider being an ex-lover, and the fly being a person ensnared in a less than ideal relationship (been there and can relate!). Pheromones can often get us into trouble. Our heads take a backseat and we let our emotions run wild. I especially love your concluding stanza ... that moth has learned its lesson and is getting out of Dodge!
Your sonnet is well thought out, and is so well written. I'm no expert on sonnets, having only ever written this challenging form once myself, but from what I can see, this looks great. Terrific title!!
Good luck in the contest, Craig!
Cheers,
Connie
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Terrific, Craig!
I love the symbolism of spider being an ex-lover, and the fly being a person ensnared in a less than ideal relationship (been there and can relate!). Pheromones can often get us into trouble. Our heads take a backseat and we let our emotions run wild. I especially love your concluding stanza ... that moth has learned its lesson and is getting out of Dodge!
Your sonnet is well thought out, and is so well written. I'm no expert on sonnets, having only ever written this challenging form once myself, but from what I can see, this looks great. Terrific title!!
Good luck in the contest, Craig!
Cheers,
Connie
Comment Written 26-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for the fantastic review, Connie. I think sonnets are fun, you definitely should try your hand at a few more :) Most grateful, yet again. Craig
Comment from gramag4
Excellent poet! It excites many emotions and brings us to recognize ourselves as well. We so easily are fooled, but as the moth, we sometimes escape. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Excellent poet! It excites many emotions and brings us to recognize ourselves as well. We so easily are fooled, but as the moth, we sometimes escape. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much for the very kind comments :) Cheers, Craig
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You are quite welcome!
Comment from Oatmeal
CD RICHARDS,
You did a wonderful job with the challenge that was presented to you. Thoughts are expressed and described well. The flow was very nice. The theme was good. The artwork complemented your poem.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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CD RICHARDS,
You did a wonderful job with the challenge that was presented to you. Thoughts are expressed and described well. The flow was very nice. The theme was good. The artwork complemented your poem.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Thank you, Oatmeal, for the lovely comments. Most appreciated, Craig
Comment from Lady Jane
Man, I wish I had a six for this one, dear. It is deserving of such. The pacing/cadence was perfection. The image was a nice backdrop for the concept of the piece. The darkness and inevitably shone through and the rhyme was immaculate to boot. An excellent entry into the contest with this amazingly presented poetic masterpiece. I Loved it! Good luck, CD... though I dare say, you won't need it...hehehe
Janell
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Man, I wish I had a six for this one, dear. It is deserving of such. The pacing/cadence was perfection. The image was a nice backdrop for the concept of the piece. The darkness and inevitably shone through and the rhyme was immaculate to boot. An excellent entry into the contest with this amazingly presented poetic masterpiece. I Loved it! Good luck, CD... though I dare say, you won't need it...hehehe
Janell
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Thanks so much for the delightful remarks and the virtual six, Janell. I'm glad you enjoyed :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from --Turtle.
Really enjoyed this poem, Craig.
Great parallels and similies that are vaguely enough presented (in engaging poetic flow) that they can compel a reader from multiple angles.
My lean goes towards the romantic edge... where a pov is reflecting on capture and freedom... nature and invisible bonds of biological natures, and there's a polarity about evading light to darkness to find salvation. I.E ... it's supposed to be 'better' to be with someone, but if that someone is going to burn you to a crisp, or suck your blood dry in its web... then darkness is seeing the light.
And all this talk about light, and safety in obscurity, and draw to flames and webs, it makes me think about how I feel a bit safer to myself, sometimes.
Many ways to cut it, I could read this poem another day and apply it to myself another way... hence my strong desire and glee to give it six stars. Nicely done.
My thoughts along the way:
will come to rue his loss of liberty.
(A strong opening to this poem, setting the scene using creatures from nature that get entangled in something that is beyond their control, opening curiosity to where the theme will take me from the starting image)
ensnaring us within a perfumed haze?
(Really like this second set of the poem, where the questions and poetic phrasings are effective in engaging me into the question, and then relating human troubles and lack of foresight to something that ends up not good for them)
aside--there'll be no tears as I depart.
(an upswing in determination and reclaiming of self with the comparison of bewitchment of insects strong in mind)
and fades into the refuge of the night.
(A very satisfying end of poem, with a sense that some things can be overcome, and that there can be salvation in darkness, or refusal to succumb to the shiny for the sake of the waiting heat behind it.)
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Really enjoyed this poem, Craig.
Great parallels and similies that are vaguely enough presented (in engaging poetic flow) that they can compel a reader from multiple angles.
My lean goes towards the romantic edge... where a pov is reflecting on capture and freedom... nature and invisible bonds of biological natures, and there's a polarity about evading light to darkness to find salvation. I.E ... it's supposed to be 'better' to be with someone, but if that someone is going to burn you to a crisp, or suck your blood dry in its web... then darkness is seeing the light.
And all this talk about light, and safety in obscurity, and draw to flames and webs, it makes me think about how I feel a bit safer to myself, sometimes.
Many ways to cut it, I could read this poem another day and apply it to myself another way... hence my strong desire and glee to give it six stars. Nicely done.
My thoughts along the way:
will come to rue his loss of liberty.
(A strong opening to this poem, setting the scene using creatures from nature that get entangled in something that is beyond their control, opening curiosity to where the theme will take me from the starting image)
ensnaring us within a perfumed haze?
(Really like this second set of the poem, where the questions and poetic phrasings are effective in engaging me into the question, and then relating human troubles and lack of foresight to something that ends up not good for them)
aside--there'll be no tears as I depart.
(an upswing in determination and reclaiming of self with the comparison of bewitchment of insects strong in mind)
and fades into the refuge of the night.
(A very satisfying end of poem, with a sense that some things can be overcome, and that there can be salvation in darkness, or refusal to succumb to the shiny for the sake of the waiting heat behind it.)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Once again, I'm in awe of your diligence in setting about understanding and then commenting upon each piece, Turtle. It really makes it worth the effort when someone puts in that much work to decipher what I'm getting at. Thanks for the great comments, and for the delightful rating. I hope things aren't intolerably hectic for you at the moment. Many thanks, Craig
Comment from June Sargent
I've read a few sonnets tonight and some of them didn't maintain the right rhythm or meter. Yours did. And it held my attention- what's to become of the little moth? He smartened up. Great imagery and a fun read.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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I've read a few sonnets tonight and some of them didn't maintain the right rhythm or meter. Yours did. And it held my attention- what's to become of the little moth? He smartened up. Great imagery and a fun read.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Thanks very much, June. I'm glad you enjoyed, and I appreciate the lovely comments. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello CD Richards
your sonnet Fade to Black is excellent all I know that I'm not the moth, to be caught within the spider's web I have a dreadful fear of spiders. Gert
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Hello CD Richards
your sonnet Fade to Black is excellent all I know that I'm not the moth, to be caught within the spider's web I have a dreadful fear of spiders. Gert
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
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Then well away from the spider's web is the place for you to be, Gert. Many thanks for reading, and for the great comments. Craig
