Jane and Jasper
Jasper's life was turned upside down.5 total reviews
Comment from BWReal
Nice need of the elderly to feel loved, and the wanting of pets to have a home, are felt strongly throughout this story. I felt true empathy for both Jane and Jasper. The coldness of the relatives comes through too. Good emotional writing.
(So why quiver with sentence structure?) "curled up in the far corner of his box (there should be a semi-colon here at least) he longed to feel..."
I would not be doing what's required if I didn't point it out.
A nice feel though.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Nice need of the elderly to feel loved, and the wanting of pets to have a home, are felt strongly throughout this story. I felt true empathy for both Jane and Jasper. The coldness of the relatives comes through too. Good emotional writing.
(So why quiver with sentence structure?) "curled up in the far corner of his box (there should be a semi-colon here at least) he longed to feel..."
I would not be doing what's required if I didn't point it out.
A nice feel though.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Glad my words evoked the feelings I wanted the reader to experience..I have no objections when someone points out my grammar errors ..I am here in part to improve my English. What I don't understand is why you felt the need to give me such a detrimental three. You would have made your point even with a four.
Ciao BWReal
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Oh my goodness, this is such a sad story. Awe... poor little Jasper. I wanted to cry reading this line: "Jasper lost the will to live: curled up in the far corner of his box"
This is penned very well, you even had a little rhyme in the second paragraph. What's even sadder is, this probably does happen when the elderly passes and the family's don't care to take the cat or even a dog. Good luck in the contest. ~Kerry
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Oh my goodness, this is such a sad story. Awe... poor little Jasper. I wanted to cry reading this line: "Jasper lost the will to live: curled up in the far corner of his box"
This is penned very well, you even had a little rhyme in the second paragraph. What's even sadder is, this probably does happen when the elderly passes and the family's don't care to take the cat or even a dog. Good luck in the contest. ~Kerry
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
Comment from write hand blue
Hi mystery writer. A sad but all too true tale of real life where the owner dies and the pet pines and goes downhill with grief. Much in the same way as a human.
Nicely written, good luck with it. Mel.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019
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Hi mystery writer. A sad but all too true tale of real life where the owner dies and the pet pines and goes downhill with grief. Much in the same way as a human.
Nicely written, good luck with it. Mel.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2019
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Sorry for the late reply.
When a pet's master dies , the animal needs even more to be in a loving , caring environment to overcome the loss.
It's sad that some people are not even willing to take care of the pets their dead loved ones left .. Not even in their memory.
Thank you for sharing .
Hope you have a nice weekend
Ciao!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a super sad story. Poor little cat. You'd think someone would have cared for it out of respect for the old woman if not out of kindness. I'm sorry I read this, for it's put me in a very bad mood.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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What a super sad story. Poor little cat. You'd think someone would have cared for it out of respect for the old woman if not out of kindness. I'm sorry I read this, for it's put me in a very bad mood.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Sometimes those that inherit are not willing to take care of the any pets left behind ..
I have had many cats and I have offered to nurse newborn or stray cats with the goal to give them a second chance ....
... sadly at some point one must accept the fact that some will not receive the help they deserve, though.
Sorry if my story in some way caused you discomfort ..
Thank you for sharing your thoughts .
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think the story may be better served with a more traditional type of ending. make it a concrete thing rather than the writer's intrusion into the piece. It turns into a pondering or commentary from a story in this way.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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Hi there,
I think the story may be better served with a more traditional type of ending. make it a concrete thing rather than the writer's intrusion into the piece. It turns into a pondering or commentary from a story in this way.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 21-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
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In reality the cats were three ..the relatives were asked to keep the cats inside ( they were not outdoor cats ) to give my friend time to find new homes ..
Well the relatives just opened the door and let them out .. One got run over the following day...the other two she was able to locate ..they were frightened ..she went to feed them until she found a home .she caught them and took them to their new homes ..
Another time the old cat was left in front of the cat refuge ..
When they are old not many want them because they need medical care and they don't want to get close to a cat that will then die.
The voting has began so for this time it's too late to make any alteration.
I will definitely keep in mind your suggestion for next time thought
Thank you so much for your input.!
