Comment from aryr

Excellent

A good chapter Sandra, it was rather creative to provide the history of Sands and is his downfall and demise. Lance who is not really Lance but rather evil amplified hopefully is not aware that Susie plans to return him from whence he came. The age old truth of three fold is proving its wrath.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019

Thank you for your review, and rating. Lance is starting to be suspicious that Susie is trying to send him back, the chapter before this one addressed that issue. Thanks for reading.

reply by aryr on 19-Jan-2019

You are welcome, I remember reading that but I thought she convinced him she wasn't planning that.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi there,

This is a wonderful chapter - full of intrigue and mystery. Now, without going back and reading the previous chapters, I still could get a sense of what was going on.

My one suggestion - add a cast of characters at the bottom in your Author's Notes, and maybe start the chapter off with a more specific synopsis,

A good read, and I will be back for more,

~Mustang Patty~

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019

Thank you for your review and your rating. I appreciate the suggestion. I see that on other post and thought about doing that. I think I might just go back to all the chapters and put the cast of characters in the note. Thank you for reading, and thanks again for your review and your suggestion.

Comment from TheStoryMan

Excellent

Uh oh...revenge can be dangerous...this is another great chapter...only one question...the customer is first called Lance Justice then later you use Louis then Lance again, is Louis just a mistake? Otherwise everything is well written.

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019

Thank you for your review and the rating. I was trying to throw a little twist, because the salesman didn't know Lance or what he looked liked so I was trying to make a little like an alas but Tony knew who he was when he saw him so the salesman could be confused and such. I will try and rethink that or just change it. Thank you for pointing that out.

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Wow, didn't seeTony Sands committing suicide coming.At this rate Motorcycle City should be closed by the end of the next chapter. I'm enjoying this immensley. Can't wait for the next installment,

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019

Thank you for your review and rating. The question is did he? He aimed the gun at the evil Lance, and no one saw what had happen, and it appeared to be suicide. Lance did say at the end, "Did he?" When the paramedic said he killed himself. Thanks for reading.

Comment from meeshu

Excellent

You have created some great images here, S.L. and your writing is thoughtful and descriptive, it is twice as good with her trying to stop it now, really adds to the intrigue. great storytelling...................meeshu

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019

Thank you for the review and the rating. The review you have given is an honored compliment from you. I have read your poems and you have inspired my writing and creativity more. Thank you for reading.