Baker's Dozen
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Flashback 5"Ben Baker has to hunt down and kill twelve people
17 total reviews
Comment from Teresa Alford
I am now anxiously awaiting the next chapter. I wonder, do you bled words that come out in the form of stories, plays, etc. ? Well written. , of course. TA ";~)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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I am now anxiously awaiting the next chapter. I wonder, do you bled words that come out in the form of stories, plays, etc. ? Well written. , of course. TA ";~)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Thanks, TA
Comment from Miss Sherry
This was quite different from anything else of yours I have read. Obviously a lot of work went into this and I read a couple of times. It has the requisite inclusions of a war story and a plot turn or two to keep the reader confused and riveted. I enjoy the names of your characters - and the big surprise ending!!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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This was quite different from anything else of yours I have read. Obviously a lot of work went into this and I read a couple of times. It has the requisite inclusions of a war story and a plot turn or two to keep the reader confused and riveted. I enjoy the names of your characters - and the big surprise ending!!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Thanks,WPS.
Comment from Cass Carlton
Two spags 'rest" ought to be "Wrest" meaning to take with force. Preceded doesn't have a double vowel. Connors is a clever rat isn't he? but something tells me An Do will wake up in time to save Joe the trouble of killing him (or be killed). There aren't many left now are there? But the carnage has still some bodies to count before it's finally over. I hope and trust that CC.Connors will be stiff and cold when the story ends. cheers Cass
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Two spags 'rest" ought to be "Wrest" meaning to take with force. Preceded doesn't have a double vowel. Connors is a clever rat isn't he? but something tells me An Do will wake up in time to save Joe the trouble of killing him (or be killed). There aren't many left now are there? But the carnage has still some bodies to count before it's finally over. I hope and trust that CC.Connors will be stiff and cold when the story ends. cheers Cass
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Cass
Comment from WryWriter
You left this chapter with the reader hanging, anxiously wondering if the post hypnotic suggestion will hold until ally kills ally. (Great job!)
The chapter paces good and transitions good and is most importantly exciting!
A suggestion:
Looking over to Joseph, he saw that the other three (combatants) had been eliminated. ("bad guys" not strong enough)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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You left this chapter with the reader hanging, anxiously wondering if the post hypnotic suggestion will hold until ally kills ally. (Great job!)
The chapter paces good and transitions good and is most importantly exciting!
A suggestion:
Looking over to Joseph, he saw that the other three (combatants) had been eliminated. ("bad guys" not strong enough)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Settled on fighters. Thanks, WW.
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Like it! : )
Comment from called2rite
I am not a fiction fan of violence. However, I recognize the ability to create a scenario of wondering what was going to happen next. Great imagination as well.
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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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I am not a fiction fan of violence. However, I recognize the ability to create a scenario of wondering what was going to happen next. Great imagination as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Thanks, c2r
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! But An was his friend. I wonder if he was hypnotized to do whatever Connor said to do. Great job with the action especially the active verbs during the combat. I think you need a "violence" warning.
One typo:
"out of that possition and sprung to" (position)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Oh no! But An was his friend. I wonder if he was hypnotized to do whatever Connor said to do. Great job with the action especially the active verbs during the combat. I think you need a "violence" warning.
One typo:
"out of that possition and sprung to" (position)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Lyenochka, this is violent. Just kidding. I?ll do that.
Comment from AdaJulie
He tried pulling the trigger, but his finger refused to contract. He threw the rifle down and grabbed the remaining Bowie knife off the ground.
Damn that trigger finger!'
•¼§•½?•½?•½?•½?ã??•½?•½?•½?•½?•½?•½?ã??
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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He tried pulling the trigger, but his finger refused to contract. He threw the rifle down and grabbed the remaining Bowie knife off the ground.
Damn that trigger finger!'
•¼§•½?•½?•½?•½?ã??•½?•½?•½?•½?•½?•½?ã??
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Ain?t that the way?
