To Seek Solace in October Skies
Their Legacies Live On...68 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, how sad a tale in this lovely poem! What a wonderful legacy your uncle left though, and I love the notes too, especially the inspiration for "There is still beauty in a sunrise and a sunset."
Good luck!
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Oh, how sad a tale in this lovely poem! What a wonderful legacy your uncle left though, and I love the notes too, especially the inspiration for "There is still beauty in a sunrise and a sunset."
Good luck!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
Comment from Dean Kuch
Your father sounds like a very wise man indeed, Diane. This is also a very poignant, well written and heartfelt to your uncle Will's tragic death, brought about by the ignorance of war.
Whomever it was who said "War is Hell" knew exactly what they were talking about.
Each of your eleven rhymed quatrains feature good end rhyming in an abab rhyme scheme and a smooth, even cadence.
Great and informative authors notes as well.
Thanks for sharing, and best of luck to you in the judging.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Your father sounds like a very wise man indeed, Diane. This is also a very poignant, well written and heartfelt to your uncle Will's tragic death, brought about by the ignorance of war.
Whomever it was who said "War is Hell" knew exactly what they were talking about.
Each of your eleven rhymed quatrains feature good end rhyming in an abab rhyme scheme and a smooth, even cadence.
Great and informative authors notes as well.
Thanks for sharing, and best of luck to you in the judging.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Thank you so much, Dean, for your excellent rating and thoughtul review.
I may not place in the contest, but I wrote this piece for my children and their children...
My father was, indeed, a "wise man," but I realized- after penning this piece - that I didn't give enough credit to my mother. It was she who approached me father with the idea of hosting a Japanese exchange student... Now who said, "Behind every successful man is a..." :) Still, I treasure my father's words and his willingness to accept Natsumi into our family...
Thank you again!
diane
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Your parents were obviously a good "team" who worked well together and realized the value of compromise as well as forgiveness.
That's what married couples who love each other are supposed to do.
It should never be "My way or the Highway," but, "Our way--the Right way."
Good luck...
Comment from estory
This is a real epic poem of the suffering of war and the healing that we need afterwards. You tell your uncle's story in emotional terms that hinge on the details; his patriotism, his suffering in the prison camp, the loss your family felt when he died, and your finally finding closure in welcoming a Japanese woman into your home. Sometimes it's a long, strange road we take in life, but love is thing that raises us above the rest of the world. I think it would make a good novel. estory
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This is a real epic poem of the suffering of war and the healing that we need afterwards. You tell your uncle's story in emotional terms that hinge on the details; his patriotism, his suffering in the prison camp, the loss your family felt when he died, and your finally finding closure in welcoming a Japanese woman into your home. Sometimes it's a long, strange road we take in life, but love is thing that raises us above the rest of the world. I think it would make a good novel. estory
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
Comment from Jaye Bennett
The simple abab rhyme scheme makes this story in a poem easy to understand. Being easily understood makes it hard to read. I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle. I am happy about your father making the important decision to share his home with a Japanese exchange student, and in so doing, making the choice to heal. Good job.
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The simple abab rhyme scheme makes this story in a poem easy to understand. Being easily understood makes it hard to read. I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle. I am happy about your father making the important decision to share his home with a Japanese exchange student, and in so doing, making the choice to heal. Good job.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Diane,
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story of forgiveness and honor. I can only imagine how hard it was for your father and his family to move on. The pain of losing someone in war has deep roots which dig in and change the way folks think.
I hope the message you've woven into these lines will inspire others to stop harboring old impressions based on the past...
~patty~
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Hi, Diane,
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story of forgiveness and honor. I can only imagine how hard it was for your father and his family to move on. The pain of losing someone in war has deep roots which dig in and change the way folks think.
I hope the message you've woven into these lines will inspire others to stop harboring old impressions based on the past...
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Good Morning, Patty!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtul review.
I can still hear my father uttering those words; a life-defining moment for me...
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This skillfully-written, moving poem appeals to the heart by recounting a story of
war, injustice, death, forgiveness, life, and healing. This is a lovely tribute to
your uncle.
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This skillfully-written, moving poem appeals to the heart by recounting a story of
war, injustice, death, forgiveness, life, and healing. This is a lovely tribute to
your uncle.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Diane. I love your poem mhere. I rad all of your notes first snd the poem made so much more sense. Perhaps you should have a not at the top instructing readers to "see notes first"
This is true irony, Diane. I am currently reading a new book by my favorite author John Grisham. it's called "The Reckoning" and it is a thorough account of the pows and therir plight on the Dearh March and the "Hell ship" Grisham is a geeart writer and I reslly think you would enjoy trhis book.
It is not primarily about Bataan etc. but people's lives at home snd how they were affected. I strongly recommend it. (Brand new on best seller list)
Bless you, my friend. Excellent poetry. Bob
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Hi, Diane. I love your poem mhere. I rad all of your notes first snd the poem made so much more sense. Perhaps you should have a not at the top instructing readers to "see notes first"
This is true irony, Diane. I am currently reading a new book by my favorite author John Grisham. it's called "The Reckoning" and it is a thorough account of the pows and therir plight on the Dearh March and the "Hell ship" Grisham is a geeart writer and I reslly think you would enjoy trhis book.
It is not primarily about Bataan etc. but people's lives at home snd how they were affected. I strongly recommend it. (Brand new on best seller list)
Bless you, my friend. Excellent poetry. Bob
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Good Morning, Bob!
I am honored by your exceptional rating and review. I will definitely check out Grisham's novel; I appreciate his work immensely.
Am recuperating from bronchial pneumonia; I need a good book to read!
Happy New Year!
diane
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Oh, Diane. I am so sorry to hear that you are sick. Pneumonia is no joke. I had double about two years ago and was hospitalized for nearly eight weeks.
listen, have someone go to barnes and Noble and get "The Reckoning" You will be thanking me over and over...LOL Bob
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Thanks, Bob!
I am on the mend! But it was nasty!
Headed to Amazon to purchase a copy of The Reckoning; no Barnes and Noble here in Traverse City!
Take Care!
diane
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I think you will love it, diane. Let me know how you like Pete Banning, the protagonist. :) Bob
Comment from Sam Saylor
What a story you tell in such a short space of time with a nice bounce and flow and quite a unique tale that I enjoyed to hear. I wish you the best of luck in the competition it may turn out that luck is not needed.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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What a story you tell in such a short space of time with a nice bounce and flow and quite a unique tale that I enjoyed to hear. I wish you the best of luck in the competition it may turn out that luck is not needed.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Hello Sam,
Thank you for stopping by and your review.
Your review is filled with compliments; may I ask what I could have done to improve as a four star rating means that improvement is needed, and you offer no suggestions...
diane
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I understand you wishing for clarification on my reason for not giving five stars. My compliments are quite sincere. I understand fanstory requires four stars to be followed by constructive criticism to help the author but I must admit as a reviewer I am struggling with this logic and trying to reserve my fivestars for only pieces of work i think are as the star system suggests, excellent.
I felt this was very good but that it wasn't excellent. Being that I am not an excellent writer myself I struggle to know what should be adjusted other than I feel there can be more to it.
Im sorry and I know this is useless to you, but its an immediate explanation of my struggles with the ranking system. If you were to believe the site then 99 percent of the people on it have excellent writing, including me. This just cant be so.
However... Appreciating your request I will go over the piece again shortly and see what more I can offer. I am where I can in my reviews offering advice and comments, so I definitely want to be supportive.
Sincerley
Sam
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I'll look forward to hearing from you as your response is an explanation of your problem with the ranking system and not my work.
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Yes that is correct as I stated I don't have a problem with your work I liked your work.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt story in a poem that truly touches the heart. So many siblings that love one another drives apart about a misunderstanding they refuse to clear up, until the one passes on then the other realizes how important it is to forgive and forget each day.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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A very well-written heartfelt story in a poem that truly touches the heart. So many siblings that love one another drives apart about a misunderstanding they refuse to clear up, until the one passes on then the other realizes how important it is to forgive and forget each day.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Good Morning, Sandra,
Thank you for your excellent review and rating.
However, this poem is not about any rift between brothers. It is about my uncle - who perished during WWII, his legacy, and my father's forgiveness of those who killed my uncle, and how my father passed on his philosophy of forgiveness to me...
diane
Comment from Sanku
This is a very touching tale. Prisoners of war were treated with atrocious callousness.
it is so sad that he was very young.
the hatred is all over now it is time to forget .The Japanese have forgotten the nuclear bomb and so forgivenes from this side is just.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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This is a very touching tale. Prisoners of war were treated with atrocious callousness.
it is so sad that he was very young.
the hatred is all over now it is time to forget .The Japanese have forgotten the nuclear bomb and so forgivenes from this side is just.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Hello Sanku!
I am very honored by your exceptional rating and thoughtful review.
I am also pleased that my words resonated with you.
Thank you again,
diane
