I've Arrived
... How do you like me now87 total reviews
Comment from writerjen
Cute poem...might have given it the title from the last line-" Life's thorns would wait or I was hungry." Liked the descriptive language. Lovely line- "Fresh eyes drank in colored blooms; soaking up the morning dew." Your rhyming pattern was slightly confusing...it fluctuated. Nice photo to accompany your poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Cute poem...might have given it the title from the last line-" Life's thorns would wait or I was hungry." Liked the descriptive language. Lovely line- "Fresh eyes drank in colored blooms; soaking up the morning dew." Your rhyming pattern was slightly confusing...it fluctuated. Nice photo to accompany your poem.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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jii...
Comment from Raul1
The innocence of life itself shall never be forgotten. I think that this poem definitely says that. Lives are to be taken care of. This celebrates how life should be. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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The innocence of life itself shall never be forgotten. I think that this poem definitely says that. Lives are to be taken care of. This celebrates how life should be. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
Comment from Susanjohn
Life's thorns will wait... :-) Nice "When life was still fun" piece!..loving the imagery and the reminder when time was just so new and magical! I enjoyed reading!! Good luck to you in the contest...( great pic too)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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Life's thorns will wait... :-) Nice "When life was still fun" piece!..loving the imagery and the reminder when time was just so new and magical! I enjoyed reading!! Good luck to you in the contest...( great pic too)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
Comment from Tirza Savellano
Stupendous! Each word flows smoothly into the next painting this beautiful piece. The image really fits in well with your passionate poem. Thank you for sharing and I hope to read more of your spectacular work in the future.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Stupendous! Each word flows smoothly into the next painting this beautiful piece. The image really fits in well with your passionate poem. Thank you for sharing and I hope to read more of your spectacular work in the future.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is good. You've summed up beautifully when life was fun, innocent, and new. You've also expressed beautifully the term about enjoying life and just smelling the roses. If only we could freeze those moments in time and be able to physically experience them again. That would be something, wouldn't it? The artwork is priceless. I can see the little lass smelling the flower and beginning to reach for it when she was saved from the thorns. I like this and enjoyed reading this beautiful and well written poem. Well done!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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This is good. You've summed up beautifully when life was fun, innocent, and new. You've also expressed beautifully the term about enjoying life and just smelling the roses. If only we could freeze those moments in time and be able to physically experience them again. That would be something, wouldn't it? The artwork is priceless. I can see the little lass smelling the flower and beginning to reach for it when she was saved from the thorns. I like this and enjoyed reading this beautiful and well written poem. Well done!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
Comment from Yuna Akil
I love this poem and I adore how each stanza has only two lines. It feels clean and direct. Good use of imagery and invoking the senses.
In the fourth stanza, you use the word "felt". I think the verb "to feel" is a quite weak verb in literature. I would replace it or not use it at all.
Why do the last sentences have *** around them?
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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I love this poem and I adore how each stanza has only two lines. It feels clean and direct. Good use of imagery and invoking the senses.
In the fourth stanza, you use the word "felt". I think the verb "to feel" is a quite weak verb in literature. I would replace it or not use it at all.
Why do the last sentences have *** around them?
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
This is a wonderful response to this writing prompt and contest. I could relate to the frilly little girl that was more a tom girl and wanted to be outside and play. More kids today need to experience this time of innocence and discovery... I worry that it's being lost. Your entry for the contest is solid. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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This is a wonderful response to this writing prompt and contest. I could relate to the frilly little girl that was more a tom girl and wanted to be outside and play. More kids today need to experience this time of innocence and discovery... I worry that it's being lost. Your entry for the contest is solid. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for this wonderful review. yours, diana
Comment from victor 66
What I love about children this age, is that they tell you everything they know, and then they're done. Also at this age, everything is magical. I remember the first time My grandfather gave me Morning Glory seeds to plant near the clothes line post. I couldn't grasp what caused them to grow. A very nice poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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What I love about children this age, is that they tell you everything they know, and then they're done. Also at this age, everything is magical. I remember the first time My grandfather gave me Morning Glory seeds to plant near the clothes line post. I couldn't grasp what caused them to grow. A very nice poem.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana So True... beautiful recolections victor
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You are most welcome, Diane.
Comment from Jaye Bennett
Oh, yes. That was when life was still fun. You have such joyous memories, or the imagination to construct them. I can visualize you, I can remember me, in similar circumstances. The picture goes well with the poem. The rhymes and near rhymes work well. The poem flows. Absolutely awesome. Extremely good job.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Oh, yes. That was when life was still fun. You have such joyous memories, or the imagination to construct them. I can visualize you, I can remember me, in similar circumstances. The picture goes well with the poem. The rhymes and near rhymes work well. The poem flows. Absolutely awesome. Extremely good job.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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sometimes it is good to remember who we were before our eyes became jaded and tired... a little joy goes a long way. thanks for your wonderful star... so appreciated and honored. completely appreciate your sage review. yours, diana
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As well as you did with this memoir poem, are you planning on writing a book length collection?:
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Never even thought about that... hum... stay tuned.
Comment from Shanbreen
I loved the analogy of the thorns in the vine with the thorns in life. Just one thing:
The first stanza is a continuation of the one that follows it
As I waddled through unmowed grass,
just this side of brand-new. (in my opionion, the period does not work here)
Best for the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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I loved the analogy of the thorns in the vine with the thorns in life. Just one thing:
The first stanza is a continuation of the one that follows it
As I waddled through unmowed grass,
just this side of brand-new. (in my opionion, the period does not work here)
Best for the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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thanks for your help and yes you were correct... thanks for your review and your sage thoughts and observations... yours diana
