Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow! If only all little ones and teens could have the straight and clear thinking actions as the heroine of your story! Good way to show it and I like how you didn't give him a name but "Perv."

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you for the excellent review and kindest comments. I am the heroine in part one. My sister was with me and wanted to get in his car and out of the rain. She thanked me years later for saving her life. Part two is fantasy fiction, hoping that someone (like me) who had police powers caught the Perv red-handed and removed him from the streets permanently. I crafted it all into this short piece. I am so glad you liked it.
All my best,
Sal

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Sound like some never learn and hang around year after year trying to improve their chances of getting a person in their web of deceit. Nice work up for this and glad the pervert got caught.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you so much for the excellent review and comments.. Some people didn?t get the spider picture. Go figure. A sexual predator likes to capture you in his or her web of smooth talk and kind offerings?and then...wham! That?s why they prey upon the young and vulnerable.
All my best,
Sal :+)

reply by country ranch writer on 11-Jan-2019

People only see what they want to see

reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019

Tis true!

reply by country ranch writer on 12-Jan-2019

YEP

Comment from Teresa Alford

Excellent

I remember a prev that hung around my junior/high school. He would offer rides. I did inform the police and soon after he quit coming around. Your story is well done. TA ";~)

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you so much for the excellent review and comments. Part one was true. My sister and I were the ones he offered a ride to in this story. She wanted to get in because it was raining so hard. I pulled her away and spoke forcefully to him. She thanked me years later for saving her life. The second part is my fantasy fiction. I hope he was caught red-handed just like this, and removed from the streets.
All my best,
Sal :+)

Comment from KatyM

Excellent

Very good as always. Thought it interesting you picked a spider for your picture. Looks innocent and quiet but much like a perv he is dangerous! Happy writing. Katy

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments. Yes, a spider weaves his web, catches, then devours his prey. So much like a Pervert. I am glad you appreciated my short piece.
All my best,
Sal :+)

Comment from Donka Kristeva

Exceptional

Excellent write for our times Sally! In just a few words, you tell of an incident that surely can frighten, or lure a young girl. But you were wise and courageous and God helped you to do the right thing. This piece of work may help some parents on the site, reading a true story that repeats itself well too often.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you so much, dear friend. Your superb marks and kind words mean so much. This was a bit different for me, but based on my own true story. The first part is 100 percent true. I saw this man more than once stalking our neighborhood. He finally made the move on this day retold. Part two is my fantasy fiction, hoping he was caught and removed from the streets. My sister thanked me years later for saving her life. She wanted to accept the ride and get out of the rain.
All my best,
Sal xo

reply by Donka Kristeva on 11-Jan-2019

Wow! This is amazing!! Thank you for sharing it with me
God bless
Donka

Comment from Rob Caudle

Excellent

Hey Sally, a good bit here 100 words I am awed by that abilty. We see preditors among us more than ever I cheered at the end of your pice another victory for the good guy a while timed piece with the return of miss jayme closs to her family.

Rob

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you for the excellent review and kind words. Yes, I just saw that on the news. Bless God! It was a well-timed post.

Part one of my short story is true. My sister and I were in an area that was not the best of places. I had seen this guy watching me many times. He finally made a move on the rainy day described here. I was really that bold. My sister, Suzanne, wanted to get in his car and out of the rain. I pulled her back and put my arm around her the rest of the way home. Part two was my fantasy fiction, hopeful he was arrested and removed permanently from the streets.
All my best,
Sal

Comment from djeckert

Excellent

An interesting short story. It really says a lot. And its portrayal of tragically delayed, yet finally reallized justice is sweet. ( especially, as you say, if it is based on a true story). Bless you for shining a light on such a serious and timely subject.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you so much for the excellent review and insightful comments. It is my true story in part one. My younger sister wanted to get in the car and I pulled her back from his car and into my safe keeping. She thanked me years later for saving her life. Part 2 is my fantasy fiction, hoping someone got justice served and he was removed from the streets of my neighborhood for good.
All my best,
Sally

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Your title made me worried this would be about those scarey aliens from the movies. I'm too chicken to watch the Alien and Predator movies. The spider picture eased my mind somewhat lol!

Well isn't this gal a tough one. It's nice to hear of kids standing up to these creeps.

One little nit:

- "(you) hard of hearing?" - should you be capitalized to You?

Best wishes in the contest.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you for the excellent review review and insightful comments. I did not think ?you? should be capitalized here, as thiis is me talking in a shortened version of, ? Are you hard of hearing.? I should probably take your advice. Or, add ?Are? if I can cut a word I am exactly 100 words for the contest. Thank you for all your help. I will give this some tweaking.
All my best,
Sal

Comment from Miss Sherry

Excellent

I got happy tears!! Superb write and so apt is the artwork. Predators can be inside one's own family, where wise behavior and guns can't always help. Oh, I delight in that last line.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you my old poet. I am so glad to deliver poetic justice. This one has personal meaning for me as the first part is true. The Perv offered my sister and I a ride on a rainy day. I would see him often driving in the area of my elementary school. The second part is fantasy fiction. My hope that someone caught this predator and removed him from the streets for good.
All my best,
Sal

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Good 100 word write, Sally. You thre me off a bit with the corresponding artwork. It just doesn't match the story even if it is a predator of sorts. Bur I imagine it is difficult to find a picture of a real perv. LOL Good luck in the contest, Sal. Bob

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019

Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments. I am glad you liked it. Fresh out of Perv pictures, but a spider is like a Perv as he weaves a web to trap and eat his victims.

Part one of this was true. My sister and I were walking home in the rain when this pervert pulled slowly alongside us in the car. He coasted along way too long trying to engage us in conversation. I finally had to make it clear I was onto him. Suzanne was ready and willing to get in the car with him. I grabbed her back and marched on with my arm around her. She thanked me years later for saving her life. Part two is my fantasy fiction, that someone got this low life scum bag off the streets for good.
All my best,
Sal :+)