Killer Kisser
Desperation has many causes5 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great story.Well told.
Wish I'd tried that line on my bride, just for kicks.
Alas, we have our own tale.
I can't get to the required 150 characters without adding this.
Best wishes and keep writing.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Great story.Well told.
Wish I'd tried that line on my bride, just for kicks.
Alas, we have our own tale.
I can't get to the required 150 characters without adding this.
Best wishes and keep writing.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
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Thank you. This was a repost and was a contest entry. Just having. Little fun.😀
Comment from kiwisteveh
Clever tale which must have a good shot in the contest.
The usual problem in these flas contests is not having enough words to convey your story accurately. Here, I believe you have actually used more words than necessary - the first and last sentences are both unnecessary (in my view) and the bit about being a spy seems too much like direct telling of something that could easily be conveyed in a more subtle way in that beginning. I would suggest something like 'With the Russians hot on the trail, I ran...'
Apart from that small criticism this is great. I liked the Bogie/Bacall reference and especially how it is reinforced by the quotation at the end.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Clever tale which must have a good shot in the contest.
The usual problem in these flas contests is not having enough words to convey your story accurately. Here, I believe you have actually used more words than necessary - the first and last sentences are both unnecessary (in my view) and the bit about being a spy seems too much like direct telling of something that could easily be conveyed in a more subtle way in that beginning. I would suggest something like 'With the Russians hot on the trail, I ran...'
Apart from that small criticism this is great. I liked the Bogie/Bacall reference and especially how it is reinforced by the quotation at the end.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 04-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Thanks, Steve. That's a repost so the contest is long gone.
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Sorry - didn't notice that. Nice tale anyway.
Comment from 1Dreamer
Laughing out loud...I really enjoyed your meet cute and how you two became Bogey and Bacall in your tale. Most of all, I got a kick out of "Here's looking at you, kid! Too late now!" Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Laughing out loud...I really enjoyed your meet cute and how you two became Bogey and Bacall in your tale. Most of all, I got a kick out of "Here's looking at you, kid! Too late now!" Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Thanks, glad you liked it. I had fun writing it!
Comment from tbacha58
You took me back ages ago when I watched this movie. Wow, I am 82 and that love story was amazing. You should win. Good luck. Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
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You took me back ages ago when I watched this movie. Wow, I am 82 and that love story was amazing. You should win. Good luck. Terry xoxo
Comment Written 04-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Writing a story with a real plot in one hundred words is quite an accomplishment.
You have very effectively met the demands of the prompt. I wonder why she doesn't believe you! :-)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
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Writing a story with a real plot in one hundred words is quite an accomplishment.
You have very effectively met the demands of the prompt. I wonder why she doesn't believe you! :-)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
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Thank you! I still puzzle over her suspicion as well!😄
