Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This one-hundred-word story about a first kiss between strangers, The Beginning, falls into the word count limit and finds the Penguins, Earth Angel and the Four Seasons both referenced in this nice teen make-out.

I found these:

Carole (looked) radiant...

...to ask her (to) dance.

Happy day.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019

Thanks for the read and the corrections. I have edited.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

You've written an excellent flash fiction story
sounds like it takes place in the fifties
by the description and song and the 45's
Also sounds like a great night
Well done
Good luck in the voting
RS

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019

Correct. It was the fifties. Thanks for the read and the comments. The problem was my current girlfriend was at the party

Comment from Rob Caudle

Excellent

Oh my! Great job for a very short story...even got a little racy! Love it. I just have a couple of suggestions:

I didn't know her, she was a friend of my cousin, Janice who was giving the party.

The first part is called a comma splice--when you join two independent clauses together with a comma. The second thing is when you are setting a name off-it needs to be separated to commas.

So you might be better served by writing like this: I didn't know her. She was a friend of my cousin, Janice, who was giving the party. You can test any situation like this by simply eliminating the name to see if it still makes sense: She was a friend of my cousin who was giving the party.

Anyhoo....Cheers! Good job...

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019

Thanks for the advice. I edited the work.