Rocklands Reservoir
My current place( Approx 400 words)5 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello. I thank you for a wonderful write full of good descriptions and amazing ambiance. I would mention that in the fourth paragraph, the words flow together in confusion.... perhaps if you add a comma after... immediate space,... it would cause the reader to pause and divide the two thoughts. Just my observation.
Melissa
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Hello. I thank you for a wonderful write full of good descriptions and amazing ambiance. I would mention that in the fourth paragraph, the words flow together in confusion.... perhaps if you add a comma after... immediate space,... it would cause the reader to pause and divide the two thoughts. Just my observation.
Melissa
Comment Written 01-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Hi Melissa, thank for reading my story and I have put in the commar. I actually wrote this all on my Iphone in the bush where we were camping and ao editing was an interesting exercise LOL appreciate your help Cheers Christine
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
This is SO GOOD!!!!
I felt like I was there; and truly wish I were :)
Really enjoyed the idea of 'no strap marks' and am envious of the sun and warmth there in the bush.
This was truly great writing in all aspects. Excellent flow, grammar, spelling, detail; especially the descriptive detail.
Great writing! So glad you have time alone with hubby and a chance for some well deserved down time.
Blessings!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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This is SO GOOD!!!!
I felt like I was there; and truly wish I were :)
Really enjoyed the idea of 'no strap marks' and am envious of the sun and warmth there in the bush.
This was truly great writing in all aspects. Excellent flow, grammar, spelling, detail; especially the descriptive detail.
Great writing! So glad you have time alone with hubby and a chance for some well deserved down time.
Blessings!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Hi C Gale Burnett, Thank you so much for such a great review it made my day to have you praise and it was a lovely 5 days alone and undisturbed. I am so pleased you enjoyed my camp with me Cheers Christine
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Hi C Gale Burnett, Thank you so much for such a great review it made my day to have you praise and it was a lovely 5 days alone and undisturbed. I am so pleased you enjoyed my camp with me Cheers Christine
Comment from jmshumate
This is a good writing prompt entry. Wherever you're at it sounds nice. You painted a good picture for the reader of your surroundings. And you relay to the reader well the excitement of being free from responsibilities in the camper with just you and your husband. Good job and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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This is a good writing prompt entry. Wherever you're at it sounds nice. You painted a good picture for the reader of your surroundings. And you relay to the reader well the excitement of being free from responsibilities in the camper with just you and your husband. Good job and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Hi jmshumate, Thank ypu for your comments and yes it was nice peaceful and gave us noth a recharge we needed for 2019 Back home now Have Great 2019 Cheers Christine
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Author (--wink--) (4)
Yep, I guessed who this was before I even began reading the first line of your post. After seeing the description and the author notes (which I always read first) your identity was given away... well, I haven't checked, but I'm rather certain. (C)
What a fun moment in time - and smart you, figuring out to capture it down in writing to savor forever!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) 2019, (sees) me sitting in the sun(')s warming rays.
2.) trees gently sway in the gentle breeze
--> 'gentle' x 2
3.) The only occupant(,) the sun(')s globe.
--> look for the trailing period/end stop
4.) Peering through the salt bush I see glistening water
--> you already used 'glistening' once before
5.) Throughout the water stands tall dry dead tree stumps,marking their territory
.
--> Throughout the water stands tall(,) dry(,) dead tree stumps, (space)marking their territory(.) [Clear that trailing end stop]
6.) Solar powered panels catching the sun(')s rays
7.) is my idea of a perfect getaway(.) [Another trailing end stop]
Enjoyed! Holler when you edit and I will happily revisit and re-rate. Thanks! Good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
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Dear Mystery Author (--wink--) (4)
Yep, I guessed who this was before I even began reading the first line of your post. After seeing the description and the author notes (which I always read first) your identity was given away... well, I haven't checked, but I'm rather certain. (C)
What a fun moment in time - and smart you, figuring out to capture it down in writing to savor forever!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) 2019, (sees) me sitting in the sun(')s warming rays.
2.) trees gently sway in the gentle breeze
--> 'gentle' x 2
3.) The only occupant(,) the sun(')s globe.
--> look for the trailing period/end stop
4.) Peering through the salt bush I see glistening water
--> you already used 'glistening' once before
5.) Throughout the water stands tall dry dead tree stumps,marking their territory
.
--> Throughout the water stands tall(,) dry(,) dead tree stumps, (space)marking their territory(.) [Clear that trailing end stop]
6.) Solar powered panels catching the sun(')s rays
7.) is my idea of a perfect getaway(.) [Another trailing end stop]
Enjoyed! Holler when you edit and I will happily revisit and re-rate. Thanks! Good luck!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
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Hi Robyn Thank you andif you only knew I wrote this on my I phone this morning and the punctuation was remiss LOL I will correct Spags as suggested Mystery AuthorHmmm
Comment from meeshu
this is very calm and peaceful writing. like practicing Mindfulness inventory and writing it down. actually not a bad idea. good luck in the contest, this should do well..
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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this is very calm and peaceful writing. like practicing Mindfulness inventory and writing it down. actually not a bad idea. good luck in the contest, this should do well..
Comment Written 31-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Hi meeshu, Thank for reading my place story It was so nice to ne isolated in the bush beside the reservoir and I thought I would just wrote it as I saw it Cheers Christine
