Comment from judiverse

Excellent

And we thought Trump was capable of creating chaos. Just think of what things would be like if this quartet was unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Having to take a taxi from the bus station is a bit more than Ned can comprehend. Funny confusion with Twain and train. Yes, Ned does a good job of forgetting things. Especially when he doesn't know them in the first place. Pez and Pallas add a sinister touch when they reveal that the Anzo that Ned and Pons have been looking for is dead. Pez has a strange smile on his face at the end. What does he know about Anzo's death? Bet it was mysterious circumstances. judi

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018

You are so ahead of the game here, Judi. I have been bringing Pez and Pallas along to highlight one?s hidden past and the other?s naivety. This meeting was to contrast the nature of the separate pairs? trending towards humor or malevolence. I may redo the ending to keep the deaths in line with Pez? apparent knowledge of same.

reply by judiverse on 31-Dec-2018

You certainly hint at that with your focus on Pez at the end. I wouldn't put anything past him. judi

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Kind of like Forrest Gump x 2 park bench meeting on steroids. Pez calling Palla Ned at the end there kind of confused me or was Pons and Ned meeting their future selves? Nice job.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018

I felt he was suggesting Pallas' suggestion that there might be an Anzo Smith or Jones was in the same league as Ned's thought processes.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Man, guys can be mean when they kid around. Good thing that Pons stands up for Ned. That's a loyal friend/cousin. Good thing Ned knows so little that he doesn't get hurt. Yet, I think he could be right - "Anzo" is only #12,000 in the rank of baby names.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018

Mix the likelihood of Anzo Jones or Smith and, well, I?m not sure if the odds go up or down.

Comment from AdaJulie

Exceptional

Hello Bill,
I have been on this site less than a week. I have learned so much. I thought I was a good writer before I got here. No I realize how much I have to learn. So, please help me learn more about script writing, you seem to be the pro.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

I will be happy to help you with what I know or can show you from those who know more.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Poor Pons and Ned.
They're gonna git all the way to that city and the one what wuz gonna give 'em a lap dance is already decreased.
Hopefully they done planted her 'cause I really don't trust Ned not to keep from doin' somethin' silly.
Would you?
Funny stuff featuring all four of your scripts major players.
Nice work, Bill. Looks like you're easily gonna finish as FanStory's second place script writer.
Congrats!
Happy New Year.
~Dean

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

Thanks, Dean. Happy New Year.

reply by Dean Kuch on 30-Dec-2018

Same to you, Bill.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

So, if they find my hiding place because you made me laugh, I'll put a bounty on your head -- lol! :) ;) A fun write, Sir Bill, and love that you brought all of our 'lovable airheads' together! :) ;) Happy New Year to you and yours! :) Yvette :)

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

Thank you, Yvette. They were due to meet sometime.

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

It is a terrible thing to be confused. I have heard that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. That may well be the case. It seems that Ned, Pons, Pallas and Pez are all somewhat confused at different points in this story. Let me just say that none are more confused at any point than me.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

Thanks, nomi. I am a bit confused as well. When I say a bit, I of course mean a lot.

Comment from damommy

Excellent

Getting these four together is so funny. Poor Ned. I'm glad Pons stood up for him. In the end, Pallas may be as dumb as Ned is. LOL. So now we have two reasonably smart guys and two not so smart.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

Thanks, da. I like to think Ned is one of a kind and that Pallas is just young.

reply by damommy on 30-Dec-2018

Ned certainly is that.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

I like seeing Ned and Pons with Pez and Pallas. Nice of Pons to protect Ned from their teasing. They should know better than to make fun of a mentally handicapped person anyway, so I'm glad Pons stepped in. I knew early one that Anzo would be dead. Let's hope they're looking for a different one, but probably not.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

I had to change Anzo's first mention by Pallas as past tense once I knew he would be most-likely dead in the end.

reply by Phyllis Stewart on 30-Dec-2018

most-likely dead <-- LOL! Great phrase. I think that's when I knew. The verb tense gave it away.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This was a little bit hard for me to follow, but I admire your ability to keep it going. You handled it well with the use of color to tag the speakers. Maybe Anzo is a more popular name than we think it is. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn

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 Comment Written 30-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2018

I had a rabbit named Anzo when I was a kid. He created a couple hundred little Anzos himself. I guess there could be a bunch in Lapp City too. (Naaah)

reply by BeasPeas on 30-Dec-2018

I had a rabbit named Sniffles.