Reviews from

This Time - That Time 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Veronica and James talk murder!"
Third book in the time travel trilogy

32 total reviews 
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
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Oh, sure, Sandra. Make me feel all warm and cozy and hopeful...and then yank the metaphoric rug out with the last sentence before the "..."

It's a good thing I like you so much!! Another riveting chapter. This one, though, makes me feel as if something exciting-and-important-but-good is on the horizon!! I can't stop reading just yet. xo

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
    You're going at a rate of knots here, Rachelle!!! Lots happening up ahead. I'm really loving your reviews. I'm sorry I'm behind at replying, I've just caught up with all my washing and ironing. I hate that part of the holiday. Thank you again, dear friend. :)) xxx
reply by Rachelle Allen on 27-Jun-2019
    You don't have to worry about not responding!! Please just do what you need to do; I'm having the best time just reading and reading and reading your fabulous chapters!! And welcome home!! (You and I are the only two women in the world who still iron!!)
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Sandra,

This is a nice interlude away from the main thrust, but it serves to highlight exactly what may be at stake for Veronica.

Vice admiral Pembroke has to be stopped. - Admiral may need capitalised here.

"Here--." Ann held the conch out to Michael. - you don't need the full stop with the dash in the dialogue.


 Comment Written 17-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
    Hi Garath! I've missed you. Have you been on holiday, or have you been ill, or, (more likely) did you get fed up with me!!! LOL. It's lovely to see you back, and finding my nits again. I'm glad you picked up on the full stop there, I wasn't sure on that. I'll remove it and make the other corrections. Thank you so much, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by giraffmang on 17-Jan-2019
    I've just been off-line, taking a break. I also have a problem with my eyes at the moment. I have an eye syndrome which is playing up and visibility out of one is poor and painful. I'm just doing a little bit of catch-up on reviewing.

    Not sure if I'll post much in the near future or not as I'm a little disenchanted with the site at the moment, but I'll be around to review mostly. I am still writing though, just not necessarily on here.

    G
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
    I'm sorry to hear about your eye, that can't be good for a writer with loads of stories in his head. I know what you mean about it here, it's changed such a lot. I'll be finishing this book and then having a think, too. Let me know if you post else where. my email address is
    sandramaureenmitchell@gmail.com
    I don't want to lose touch.
reply by giraffmang on 17-Jan-2019
    I'm garethgray@msn.com. We're friends on facebook too I think. lol I have lots of ideas, and lots of framework for pieces. I am moving into longer works as a lot of feedback I've had from publishers etc say they like my stories but they're hard to fit into anthologies as they're quite different. lol I may have more success trying with purely my own stuff.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
    I think you should, Gareth, you're short stories are excellent, it can't do you any harm to get a novel going, and I know you're talented enough to write them. In the meantime, you could self publish a book of you're short stories to keep them together. When you do get a publisher, you can always mention them. Lots to think about. xx
Comment from wordsfromsue
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I have to admit, reading about James and Veronica hypothetically test out different assassination possibilities made me smile!

The light hearted break with Ann and Michael was pleasant too.

Good chapter Sandra!

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much, Sue, for the wonderful 6 stars and fabulous review! When you come over here, I'll give you a big hug! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love, love, love your image... Whimsical to accompany your words. I've been away a while and have missed reading your wonderful words of whimsy and whoa and redemption. Yours, diana

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
    Aww, thanks, Diane. It has been an age since I last saw you on here. I hope you are well, and Happy New Year! Thanks for coming over and reading this part, that is so sweet of you. I hope you are going to stay around for a while now? :)) Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from XGoneX
Excellent
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Hello Sandra,

I haven't read previous chapters, so below are just my thoughts regarding this chapter.

James felt sceptical about Mildred being capable of killing someone. Either she's been clever or he is naïve. She died and came back as she used to be when she was younger. That would be an exciting experience for many of us :)

'I slumped against his chest and James wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I was getting myself into quite a state over this; I didn't know what to say or do, but knowing he seemed to understand helped me pull myself together.' - here I was a bit confused. He seemed sceptical, but then Veronica feels like he understands her. Perhaps it's in a different context.

'Maybe Mildred has a killer instinct that's never shown itself before.' - that's intriguing. Sometimes people surprise us.

'The sound of his heart beating next to my ear managed to calm me, and I stepped back and looked into his eyes. - loved the affection shown here.

There are indeed many instances where you show scenes that are both delightful emotionally and visually. I think these are two strengths you have as a writer.

'Before I had time to turn off her bedroom light, Ann was fast asleep, and I couldn't resist watching her for a few moments. Twenty-four hours before, I thought my children no longer existed, and my heart was fit to burst with the love I felt for them now that I was back in my own time. But what if we couldn't stop history from changing? A shiver of fear travelled down my spine as I switched off the light....' - nice conclusion, heart-touching.

Ellipses should be ( ... ) not (....)
If you want to stick to UK English, I'd correct the tags. UK (') USA (")

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
    Ah, Mildred, there is not one reviewer on here who has followed Mildred through the whole trilogy who would believe for one minute she could commit a murder. She is one of a kind, and I think I'd be in trouble if I changed her!! LOL.

    I really appreciate your review, and would love you to read more. This is now half-way through the final book in the trilogy, and such a lot has happened that it would be difficult for me to explain different aspects unless you knew the story behind them. That was really nice of you to comment on my strengths, thank you!!

    The ellipses. Now, I always do ( ... ) when they are needed in the middle of a sentence, but I've been told many times that when you have finished and it's a continuation, it's the way I've finished this part.... Which is basically, the full stop (period) and then the ellipsis.

    Finally, the speech tags, I only use the (") on here because many have told me the single one is too faint. But all my published novels do have the single speech tags.

    Thank you so much for coming and reviewing this part, I love getting thoughtful feedback and suggestions. Big hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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Hi Woody, Sandra,...Ok...Don't underestimate Mildred...look what she has been going through...prison...war...coming back to life...and now she is back in 1915...killing someone sounds like just another day in the life of....either way...it has to be done...she has to kill before history is changed...but Veronica needs to get back to Mildred...at least she knows the reason why...I glad she got to spend time with the kids...and her hubby...and I did read this chapter right after I read the other...and don't remember what caught my attention...but I always come back...I'm excited because it's coming together...but still want them back together...their a team...very well written sweet girl...lets see what happens my sweetest friend...smiling so big...love you lots...signed cheeky 2...Graham can be cheeky 1...LOL...Linda xxoo

John is back on his feet...wants to start painting his house...I told him with ease...LOL...xxoo


 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2019
    What will I do with you, Linda!! LOL!!! We'll be finding out what Mildred thinks soon. Well, as soon as the Powers get their acts together and send Veronica back!! Yes, things are coming together we know whats going on, now Veronica has to fix things. Hmm! Thank you so much, my very sweet friend. :)) xxxx

    Yes, I think you definitely have earned the trophy for 'Cheeky 1' LOL, Graham is used to coming 2nd! LOL. He's a love, bless him, he has to be to put up with me!

    I'm so pleased John is getting better ... he wants to start painting the house! Good for him, that is positive thinking, I like that. Mind you, he's had an inspiring influence with his neighbour, hasn't he? Bless your heart, you really are an angel.

    So, how is my friend Noah? Sending a hug to you to give to him and another one for you to keep. :)) Lots of love my friend.xxxxx
reply by l.raven on 04-Jan-2019
    Hi You, just got home from going out to dinner...
    yes they have to get back together....soon...

    Noah is doing well...he and Abby had a great Christmas...they fill up with gifts at home...and then off the grandma's house...not mine...the other grandma...LOL...I will tell Kristy to hug him for you...and here is a big hug from me to you...with so much love...smiling back at you...Cheeky 1...LOL...
Comment from Rob Caudle
Excellent
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Sandra, this the first piece of yours I have read in years. Its nice to see you are still writing great stuff. It's not because of your ability that I have not read you recently I have just returned after a very long absence truly nice to be able to read quality writing look forward to more in the future.

Rob

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Oh, my goodness, it's been years!! Welcome back, Rob. Thank you so much for coming in and reading this part. It might be hard to get into as it's the final book in my trilogy. It would be nice to see you again though. I shall pop over and see what you've been up to. Lovely to have you back! Happy New Year! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Sandra,
This is an another excellent chapter for the book with an interesting exchange between Veronica and James. I agree with James. (just like a man) lol

There is one bit of confusion for me.
The reality that is 'real' is the one with Veronica, Jame and the children. Veronica and Mildred should not have to change anything for that to take place.
That alternate reality, without James and the children, can only take place if something IS changed.
The only explanation that makes sense to me is that MIldred inadvertently changed the future
with her actions in the hospital and now it must be corrected to prevent the alternate reality from taking place.
Of course, this makes the "powers" look rather foolish, as they allowed Mildred to have real form and alter the past.
Perhaps I'm missing something in the plot.
Just a thought to consider.

Love your story
Robert

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Hi Robert! You are good!! But, don't worry, all will become crystal clear later. :)) Thank you so much for your wonderful review, it just shows me how closely you are following the story. I can rely on you to point something out that I might miss. A big hug for the lovely 6 stars, my friend. I'm so pleased you love my story. Thank you!!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-A very good chapter, Sandra.
-You show us a regular family
activity with Ver. and the
kids making the pencil holders.
-The description, dialogue, and interaction
among them was excellent and refreshing.
-Ver. shares her concern about Mildred with
James, but they don't dwell on it.
-He has a calming influence that puts
her mind at ease to the point that they
can actually laugh a little at themselves.
-It will be interesting to see what Mildred
is up to in the past time and what the Powers
may have in store for her and Ver.


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much, Pam, for the lovely six stars, and the wonderful review. James is good for Veronica, he can stand back and look in from the outside so his input is clearer and more balanced. This is what Ver needs from him. I like to bring the children in at times, that is another thing that keeps Veronica focused, normality is a necessity when you are a time-traveller. :)) (I know these things!!) Big hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Pam (respa) on 03-Jan-2019
    You are very welcome and deserving, Sandra. James is a great husband and father, and as you said, he and the kids add normalcy to Ver.'s often chaotic world. It's good that you know the impact of time-traveling so the story is accurate!
Comment from rwilliam
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wonderful chapter. I'm not surprised that you got a blue ribbon on this one! Very well written. I like that you took time to re affirm the family in this story. I needed that reminder and it came at the perfect time. Well done! :))

I'm looking forward to reading on and see how this will turn out. Excited to see you in my mailbox today. Proud of you. I've not gotten any writing done since Thanksgiving. I HAVE to get back at my own story. :-)

Hope you had a marvelous Holiday. Happy New Year.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    I can understand you not writing for a while. I had a bit of a break and haven't posted for two weeks! I'm back into it now. You will too. Yes. we had a lovely Christmas with my son and his family. I hope you had a good one too. and I wish you a fabulous 2019!

    Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, my friend, and for the wonderful review. It's so lovely to see you again. Big hugs my friend. :) Sandra xxx