Once were gold
Rondel25 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
With the passage of time, this is just a feeling about memories, once they were gold, now not, as if the world grows cold and old, making styles dead today; well said, well done. Keep Writing, Keep Inspiring. Happy New Year! -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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With the passage of time, this is just a feeling about memories, once they were gold, now not, as if the world grows cold and old, making styles dead today; well said, well done. Keep Writing, Keep Inspiring. Happy New Year! -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Thank you for the kind words.
Comment from QC Poet
Nice poem, people chasing after "fools Gold". True in money and in spiritual quests.
Choice phrases and photo very good.
God Bless you and your family
Thank you for sharing this poem,
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Nice poem, people chasing after "fools Gold". True in money and in spiritual quests.
Choice phrases and photo very good.
God Bless you and your family
Thank you for sharing this poem,
Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Thank you. You may have misunderstood the poem - it is not about real gold at all.
Comment from Tirza Savellano
This rhyming scheme is wonderful. It really ties it all together. I like how you used the clock's "ticking" to symbolize the passing of time and to show how everything is of limited duration.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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This rhyming scheme is wonderful. It really ties it all together. I like how you used the clock's "ticking" to symbolize the passing of time and to show how everything is of limited duration.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Tirza, and welcome to FanStory. In this case the rhyme scheme and the use of repeating lines (refrains) is set by the required form, the Rondel. Thoughtful comment about the ticking clock.
Comment from meeshu
This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is smooth and the language is colorful. Very well formed and rhymed in Rondel style. good luck..
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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is smooth and the language is colorful. Very well formed and rhymed in Rondel style. good luck..
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Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Thank you, meeshu.
Comment from Mary Alderete
Beautiful poem. I imagine an older person looking at his or her old photographs and remembering someone special. That someone is now gone.
I give it 5 stars only because there is one line that hit me hard: "What's left is bile." I thought this line contrasted too harshly with the rest of the poem. Or maybe that was what you meant to do? In that case, great job.
Excellent poem.
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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Beautiful poem. I imagine an older person looking at his or her old photographs and remembering someone special. That someone is now gone.
I give it 5 stars only because there is one line that hit me hard: "What's left is bile." I thought this line contrasted too harshly with the rest of the poem. Or maybe that was what you meant to do? In that case, great job.
Excellent poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Mary, welcome to FanStory. I hope you like it here. Yes, actually the harshness of 'bile' was intended - the speaker of this poem is totally disillusioned with how his life has turned out as he aged...
