Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

This is a very good poem for the Under Ten competition. I think the meaning of your verse is poignant and apt. When a young person is disappointed in someone for the first time, it is devastating. Good write.

Melissa

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2018

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

I actually had another takeaway from this poem. Forever sometimes ends quickly could also refer to an overdose or suicide, because when we're young forever is a long time. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2018

Comment from phill doran

Excellent

Hello Anon
Very, very good. An exact 'message' in a very small space exploring a sentiment that EVERYONE can relate to, regardless of age or background.
The casual use of words. It is a challenge - in my own family I tried so hard with my children to get them to use the word 'love' sparingly: once you love "toast" or "that shirt" there's little meaning to the word. I failed, of course, but I tried.
It is difficult to stand out in these contests, but perhaps the universality of your point will connect: I hope so.
I wish you well with this (well presented too)
cheers
phill


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 Comment Written 20-Dec-2018

Comment from Mary Alderete

Exceptional

I love this poem. Ah, the hard lessons of life and love. Reminds me of the line in Legends of the Fall movie: "Forever turned out to be too long."
Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2018