Reviews from

This Time - That Time 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "James' Discovery!"
Third book in the time travel trilogy

28 total reviews 
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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Mildred kill somebody? I assume you mean the Vice Admiral?
I can't see Mildred doing that unless he was doing harm to someone else. She has no way of knowing about the problem Veronica has encountered. You are indeed amazing Sandra. You weave the story so well. Well done. Nancy:)xxx

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Everyone seems to think Mildred is incapable of murdering someone. Hmm. Even I'd be able to if anyone threatened the lives of my children. But, we say these things, would we in practice? There is lots of things that Veronica has to sort out in her mind before she goes back to wherever the Powers' send her. Thank you so much for your lovely review, my friend. I'll post one more before Christmas, and then one before the New Year, if there is anyone on here then! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
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At least they know where Mildred is now what she might be up to. I'm sure that's a big relief. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, moves the story right along. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

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 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Thank you for reading this part, my friend, and for the lovely review. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from JDRBAR
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I knew Gladys' husband screwed the war up. But, I can't see Mildred murdering him. This should get VERY interesting. Great chapter as usual. I hope you post the next chapter soon.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Thanks so much for the lovely 6, Diane. I'll post one more before Christmas. Now I've finished Eric's book, I have a bit more time on my hands. Apart from the Christmas shopping I still have to get! Big hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mildred isn't capable of killing anybody, is she? I don't think so. This isn't at all good. I don't like it one but, but it is really good writing and story telling.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Can you just imagine Mildred's face! LOL. Lots to come, and plan. Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars Barbara, and the wonderful review. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hmm... I don't Mildred has it in her to kill anyone. Why would they choose her to do it? Can Veronica get to 1915? I guess they would have sent her if they wanted her there to help. SHe's not a killer either.

Oh, I know! They should send Sandra Mitchell. Everyone knows what a super killer she is, but no one talks about it for fear she'll come after them with an axe. And you didn't hear that from ME. I don't even know anyone by that name. :)

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    You've caught me out, Phyllis! LOL, how did you know I was going to be drawn magically into the story by those sneaky Powers?? I've got it all worked out how I'll go about it, he won't be able to resist my cunning charm. :)
    Thank you so much for the wonderful 6 stars, my lovely friend, and for this fun review. (Oh, by the way, I don't use axes, I'm much more discrete!) Big hugs my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, Sandra this is an amazing concept. I am absolutely engrossed. I love it. Now, I do understand that Mildred is still back in 1915, but who the heck does she need to murder to get history back on track? Wow. I love it. Can't wait to be reading on. Big hugs. Ulla xxxx

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Thank you so very much for the six shiny stars, Ulla! Now, you know I can't tell you that, don't you? LOL, it will all come out soon. Big hugs my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by Ulla on 16-Dec-2018
    Of course you can't tell me that! But I can't wait to read the next chapter. Hurry up, please. xx
Comment from WryWriter
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! Excitement, excitement, excitement! This chapter is fantastic! The story is paced perfectly, the sentences just the right length for the action. The reader is gripped tight at the beginning and held until the end. And what a cliffhanger! Beautifully done. The only suggestion I have is to lose the "ly" words (eventually).

"...especially now (that) I knew the hospital where I'd left her had been bombed."

Super job! Enjoyed this read very, very much.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    What a fantastic review, WryWriter, thank you so much for the wonderful stars as well!!! I'll go and find an alternative word to rid the 'ly' one. Thank you! I have an enormous smile on my face. :)) Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Wow, what a riveting closing note! Great chapter...great characterization, dialog, descriptive detail and pacing. Just a few suggestions:




* "We deployed twenty-eight battle ships and nine battlecruisers.

I think battle cruisers looks better as two words...


* "What did you say the hospital was called.(?)"

"St Margaret's--why?"
*

"Well, you said you were in spirit form when you travelled to1915,

spacing typo--add space after TO

* "What about you?" he asked in an effort to change the subject. "Have grandfather's letters given you any clues as to why we might have lost the war?"

Slight POV issue in that there is not way she can KNOW his effort was to change the subject since she is not in his head, but it you deliver it as an observation. that would work better. Example: just adding the word OBVIOUS would make it work:

"What about you?" he asked in an effort to change the subject. "Have grandfather's letters given you any clues as to why we might have lost the war?"

"What about you?" he asked in an obvious effort to change the subject. "Have grandfather's letters given you any clues as to why we might have lost the war?"


* "He loved your grandmother very much--you should read it," I told him as I squeezed his shoulder before standing up. "It would be awful to think history changed and they didn't have the wonderful life together you told me about."

you could trim I TOLD HIM here and just use the action tag:

"He loved your grandmother very much--you should read it." I squeezed his shoulder before standing up. "It would be awful to think history changed and they didn't have the wonderful life together you told me about."



* Admiral Pembroke came for an official visit today,(no ,) and inspired us with his words. H



Enjoyed this...looking forward to the next.

Love,
rd


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 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
    Thank you so much for you lovely review, Rama. I've made the corrections except for 'battlecruisers' it is one word. I don't know if it's different in the US, though. But, even on Google when I checked, it comes up as one word.

    I've added the word, 'obvious' to that sentence, you are perfectly right there, I hadn't noticed that! lol. All sorted now. Thanks so much, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by rama devi on 16-Dec-2018
    :-))) xxooo - yes, I was unsure about that word! Maybe both ways is correct?

    Love,
    rd