Oblivion Calling
Rock Ballad [Lyrics About Addiction Contest Entry]25 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This arrangement is so realistic. I kept asking myself if I were reading your writing or lyrics to a poem. It is also quite universal. Many of us have gotten tied up in some addiction. And this especially expresses the opiate addiction travail. I worked in a psyche/substance abuse hospital. I got quite a different perspective on addictions working there for 11 years. I'm just retired a year. I do miss some of my favorites. We had some who came back every 3-6 months and sadly, some of them did not prevail in the war within themselves. It is very sad. they were so terribly tormented. Maybe some readers will gain more insight into addictions, especially opiates, by reading this well written work. I am voting for this.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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This arrangement is so realistic. I kept asking myself if I were reading your writing or lyrics to a poem. It is also quite universal. Many of us have gotten tied up in some addiction. And this especially expresses the opiate addiction travail. I worked in a psyche/substance abuse hospital. I got quite a different perspective on addictions working there for 11 years. I'm just retired a year. I do miss some of my favorites. We had some who came back every 3-6 months and sadly, some of them did not prevail in the war within themselves. It is very sad. they were so terribly tormented. Maybe some readers will gain more insight into addictions, especially opiates, by reading this well written work. I am voting for this.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Liz -- thank you so much for this!! :) :) Addiction is something 'very near' to my heart so, the write was not so difficult -- and it isn't written to any tune specifically except the one in my head! :) :) I must say, though, that I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) There's only been one other one since I joined Fanstory, but I just jump right in -- kindof a childhood fantasy thing - lol!! :) :) Take care and have a magnificent Holiday, oh wonderful keeper of Bea and her friends! :) :) Yvette
Comment from WryWriter
I think you nailed addiction down for the cross it is to bear for those suffering from it. I think you also nailed some reasonings behind it. It's a shame when people have to turn to substance abuse instead of other people when they feel so low. Perhaps, if children learned empathy as a requirement for graduation the addition rate would at least lower. Great job with this work!
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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I think you nailed addiction down for the cross it is to bear for those suffering from it. I think you also nailed some reasonings behind it. It's a shame when people have to turn to substance abuse instead of other people when they feel so low. Perhaps, if children learned empathy as a requirement for graduation the addition rate would at least lower. Great job with this work!
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thanx for stopping by, WryWriter, and I'm glad the lyrics worked for you -- I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from M. R. Kelly
Very well done. I can hear the lyrics in my head. I love the metaphors and you should totally turn this into a real song, if it isn't already! Congrats!
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Very well done. I can hear the lyrics in my head. I love the metaphors and you should totally turn this into a real song, if it isn't already! Congrats!
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thanx for stopping by, M.R., and I'm so glad you enjoyed it -- the music's always there in my head! :) I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Pure perfection! You wrote as if you had lived it or knew others that had. Truly amazing ... that is what makes you a truly great writer.
Great illustration for the depiction of addition, the drawing or pulling into.
This is a great contest entry! I wish you the very best!
Love & hugs,
Gale
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Pure perfection! You wrote as if you had lived it or knew others that had. Truly amazing ... that is what makes you a truly great writer.
Great illustration for the depiction of addition, the drawing or pulling into.
This is a great contest entry! I wish you the very best!
Love & hugs,
Gale
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Wow, Gale -- thanx for the awesome review and wonderful comments! :) ;) You know, I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually truly wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from Ms. Snyder
Yvette,
This is definitely one that deserves a six and I'm out. I can't believe I just saw this now! I'm sorry - this is the best thing that I have read so far in Fan Story hands down! These lyrics are amazing! You need to get someone to record this song - I don't know who - but I think that you should look into recording studios around Nashville. TN, and Austin, TX and see if they will pick it up. I think you have something really special here. I hope that someone does record this because it definitely deserves airplay. I cannot stress to you how much this NEEDS to be in circulation and put to music. I don't know if you have any ability to make this happen, but I sure hope so! Cheers, Fonda
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Yvette,
This is definitely one that deserves a six and I'm out. I can't believe I just saw this now! I'm sorry - this is the best thing that I have read so far in Fan Story hands down! These lyrics are amazing! You need to get someone to record this song - I don't know who - but I think that you should look into recording studios around Nashville. TN, and Austin, TX and see if they will pick it up. I think you have something really special here. I hope that someone does record this because it definitely deserves airplay. I cannot stress to you how much this NEEDS to be in circulation and put to music. I don't know if you have any ability to make this happen, but I sure hope so! Cheers, Fonda
Comment Written 18-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Wow, Fonda -- thanx for the awesome review -- and, no, no bands, no recording studios....just me and the music that resides in my head! :) ;) But I do appreciate your enthusiasm! :) ;) You know, I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually truly wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from Shanbreen
Yvette, you are fascinating person -- I am amazed at the amount of topics you tackle in your writing -- and you do it damn well. I don't know the tune about "Laughter All Around," but I can feel the rhythm in the lyrics. As usual, well done.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Yvette, you are fascinating person -- I am amazed at the amount of topics you tackle in your writing -- and you do it damn well. I don't know the tune about "Laughter All Around," but I can feel the rhythm in the lyrics. As usual, well done.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Thanx so much, Shanbreen.....but I'm just gonna be honest with you here: the only thing this contest had for direction was the title "Lyrics about Addiction" and then the words to that song there....no directions, no instructions and when myself and others asked about it we never got a response. I had another author answer what they though...which confirmed my thoughts that they were looking for the lyrics to a song about addiction sooooo...that's what I went with!! :) ;) In short, this isn't written to any tune specifically except the one in my head! :) :) And I'm so very glad that you enjoyed it!! :) ) I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) There's only been one other one since I joined, but I just jump right in -- kindof a childhood fantasy thing - lol!! :) :) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from susand3022
Hi Yvette, I have to admit, there are many times that I've wished for something like oblivion, but alas... all I ever really do is hold my head in my hands and cry, "Calgon... take me away!" I don't have Calgon...I don't even think they make it anymore do they? I used to take bubble baths. I have a nice ball jar of lavender bubble bath that a friend made for me but I never get the chance to use now because my tub is always loaded with coconut oil and I'd always have to clean it first. Kind of takes the fun out. Oh well, so much for MY oblivion. Yours is a little scarier.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Hi Yvette, I have to admit, there are many times that I've wished for something like oblivion, but alas... all I ever really do is hold my head in my hands and cry, "Calgon... take me away!" I don't have Calgon...I don't even think they make it anymore do they? I used to take bubble baths. I have a nice ball jar of lavender bubble bath that a friend made for me but I never get the chance to use now because my tub is always loaded with coconut oil and I'd always have to clean it first. Kind of takes the fun out. Oh well, so much for MY oblivion. Yours is a little scarier.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Hey, Susan -- thanx for the wonderful review. :) Don't know about Calgon, but I always hit Bath and Body during their semi-annual sales and stock up on bubble bath....I can't imagine life without relaxing bubble baths!! :) ;) You know, I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
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I dream of my own soaker tub one day... you know the kind... with the overflow that cycles the water back into the tub hot again... I can relax just thinking about it... Ahhhhhhhh... one day... :)
Comment from Debbie Pope
What an amazing writing prompt. And I see there are no more slots open, not that I would enter. This takes way too much free thinking for my abilities.
To me, this is probably the most remarkable thing that you have written. It really shows the depth of your talents and creativity. You remind me of a teacher that all 3 of my children had. She taught AP English. Before every test, she would make up a song and sing it. On the spot. My kids would tell me the lyrics, and my mouth would just drop. I appreciated her talents more than they did. Obviously, I still think of her.
My favorite line is your repeat "Oblivion's callin', and she knows my name." That's just plain good. The line that resonates the most is "Everyone needs me and everyone takes." I think that as we get old, we need freedom from obligations--at least a short respite from all obligations. We build those obligations up as we age. Then we can't get rid of them. And we get tired. We want that oblivion.
I wouldn't change a word of this inspired song.
Speaking of changing words though, I wanted to tell you that as to my Alzheimer's piece, I keep editing. As I mentioned, Alarms echo sounded harsh to me as it did to you. So I took it out. Rama devi caught the omission and said that Alarms echo is the best part because it reflects the little red flags that warn of Alzheimer's. So I put it back in. I still don't like it though so it may come out. I just didn't want you to think that I tell you one thing and do something else. I would never do that.
You have a wonderful day. I hope you are already out for Christmas, with all exams graded.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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What an amazing writing prompt. And I see there are no more slots open, not that I would enter. This takes way too much free thinking for my abilities.
To me, this is probably the most remarkable thing that you have written. It really shows the depth of your talents and creativity. You remind me of a teacher that all 3 of my children had. She taught AP English. Before every test, she would make up a song and sing it. On the spot. My kids would tell me the lyrics, and my mouth would just drop. I appreciated her talents more than they did. Obviously, I still think of her.
My favorite line is your repeat "Oblivion's callin', and she knows my name." That's just plain good. The line that resonates the most is "Everyone needs me and everyone takes." I think that as we get old, we need freedom from obligations--at least a short respite from all obligations. We build those obligations up as we age. Then we can't get rid of them. And we get tired. We want that oblivion.
I wouldn't change a word of this inspired song.
Speaking of changing words though, I wanted to tell you that as to my Alzheimer's piece, I keep editing. As I mentioned, Alarms echo sounded harsh to me as it did to you. So I took it out. Rama devi caught the omission and said that Alarms echo is the best part because it reflects the little red flags that warn of Alzheimer's. So I put it back in. I still don't like it though so it may come out. I just didn't want you to think that I tell you one thing and do something else. I would never do that.
You have a wonderful day. I hope you are already out for Christmas, with all exams graded.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Wow, Debbie -- thanx so much!! :) :) I have to admit that I absolutely love the lyric competitions...this is only the second one they've had since I joined (I actually won the previous one - hooray!) But they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter.....you know, before reality and parents and else stepped in! :) ;) I actually hear the music playing in my head...pick out the guitar solos...everything -- I think I'm just weird that way. :) :)
And don't worry about the re-re-re-re-writing (lol!) -- whatever you settle on is magnificent...it is your write and nobody else's...the only one you've an obligation to make happy with it is MQ! :) :) Take good care and have a wonderful evening! :) :) Yvette ?
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Do you play the guitar or just air guitar in your head?
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Nah...I was a dancer, remember? Music's just 'in me' I guess. :) ;) :)
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Thought maybe you danced to your own music. I guess you do after all.
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Shhhhhh. Don't tell anyone...I think they frown upon voices and tunes in your head...LOL!!! :) ;) :) Have a wonderful week, my B'ham friend....no 'over the top' editing! ;) ;) Blessings! :)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good job fitting the new lyrics into the rhythm, although I can't speak for how they fit the melody since I never heard this song. I'm old and partly deaf, so I stopped listening to music decades ago. Besides, what passes for music today is just noise to my old ears. Still, I wanted you to have the stars you earned, so here they are. :)
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Good job fitting the new lyrics into the rhythm, although I can't speak for how they fit the melody since I never heard this song. I'm old and partly deaf, so I stopped listening to music decades ago. Besides, what passes for music today is just noise to my old ears. Still, I wanted you to have the stars you earned, so here they are. :)
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thanx for stopping by, Phyllis, and I'm glad the lyrics worked for you -- and don't worry about the rhythm or anything...there wasn't one given by the contest sponsor. In fact, all of those words and stuff that follow the write (where the author notes usually go)...that's ALL part of what the sponsor of the competition put in the 'directions/instructions' for the contest! There was no direction, per se, just the title of the contest "Lyrics About Addiction" and then the words to that song you see there. So, I just kinda wrote the lyrics a to a song about addiction and hoped for the best. I actually put in a question the day it was posted (so did two other people) and we never got an answer (still haven't and it ends in a few hours). Michael Cahill (?) actually responded to my initial inquiry with the same thoughts....that perhaps she was just looking for the lyrics to a song about addiction. Don't think Michael knows either...but since he'd reached the same conclusion as me I just kinda went with it. You are the third person to say something regarding the content of those words so I went back in and put my VERY small TRUE author notes in ALL CAPS. Of course, they are still at the bottom following all those 'directions/instructions', but at least I hope they catch the reviewers' eyes now....although the reviewer still has to scroll quite a bit to get there...sigh.
All that said, I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care, Phyllis, and thank you so much for your generosity -- have a wonderful remainder of the weekend! :) :) Yvette ?
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a very powerful and vivid poem you have written for this contest. The poem and the authors notes are so well done and intricate that it seems that it took a lot of effort. Very well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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This is a very powerful and vivid poem you have written for this contest. The poem and the authors notes are so well done and intricate that it seems that it took a lot of effort. Very well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Oh, Melissa -- I'm so glad you seemed to enjoy my lyrics, but please know...they are just that: lyrics. All of those words and stuff that follow the write (where the author notes usually go)...that's ALL part of what the sponsor of the competition put in the 'directions/instructions' for the contest! You are the third person to say something regarding the content of those words so I went back in and put my VERY small TRUE author notes in ALL CAPS. Of course, they are still at the bottom following all those 'directions/instructions', but at least I hope they catch the reviewers' eyes now....although the reviewer still has to scroll quite a bit to get there...sigh.
On a more positive note, I absolutely love the lyric competitions...they get to that little part of me from 'waaaay back when' when I actually wanted to be a songwriter! :) ;) Take care and have a wonderful weekend! :) :) Yvette ?
