Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Hmm... although he never came out and admitted anything, it seems that Pez knew an awful lot about that coin collection. Could it be...? I'm not making any accusations here, but for someone who is supposedly innocent, Pez is starting to look just a bit suspicious to me.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018

Pez knows things.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

An interesting script of a conversation between two brothers. Well, I guess we know who took Ma's coins then. Pez seems to have all the knowledge of them.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018

Pez has a lot of hidden stories.

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Hi Bill,
You have set the background and individual scene well.
The scene unfolds with clarity and focus and has a very realistic feel about it.
Well done.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018

Thanks, Shirley

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Seems there was a little bit of soul searching going on there for Pez. Funny what we remember when we think back. Guess Pallas knows who really took the coins now and Pa wasn't guilty. LOL Good job. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

Thanks, Nancy.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Yeah, Pez knew right where those coins HAD been... :) ;) :) And they say that kids are not the root of the problem in most cases...ha! :) ;) :) A fun little bro-to-bro interaction demonstrating the differences in the 'homes' in which each matured -- lol! :) ;) Thanx for sharing! :) Yvette ;)

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

Thanks, Yvette, for giving this a look. Bill

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Now we know who the thief was. He gives a clue, though, when he mentions taking Yvonne on the rides. It's interesting what things people remember. I don't get a sense of who these two new characters are. Maybe include a little about them. About all we know is that one is the younger brother. judi

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

This is their second appearance. Sceneat a Funeral is still up.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Well we know who took the coins then! He he he, an interesting chat between old friends reminiscing, I've never seen old US coins, only English ones, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

I coll3ct them nowadays.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

So Pez is the bad brother. That's how he paid for all those rides. Terrible! He'll end up in prison someday.

What happened to Ned and Pons? I like these guys too. Just hope to see N and P again.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

Thanks, Phyllis. I was airing out some issues with these two. Pez is based on a real person

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Methinks Pez stole the coins. Hard to believe he admitted to it to his brother. I have to admit I looked up what tarvy meant. Nice foray into script writing.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018

I like to drop the plot device at the end without too much warning. I feel that Pez is just subconsciously revealing the location of the coins and still not tying together his parents' near divorce, theft, or other concerns we might have for his soul.

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi Bill. Here is the $64,000 question. I assume Pez took the coins. And used them at the carnival. Did you enter something else into the Dialogue only contest? Nice job. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2018

This isn't part of a contest.

reply by Pamusart on 15-Dec-2018

I know it is not a contest entry. It reminded me of that contest. But it is dialog only. Maybe there was not such a contest for script writing. Sorry if I missed something