Tanka (sere the blood red leaves)
Announcing a new publication61 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
First of all, congratulations on the book - quite an accomplishment!
As for this one, I find that as I grow older, I appreciate more an more poems that reflect back from a mature point of view - the original twist in this one is the note that their remain "unborn years" - what a great phrase!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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First of all, congratulations on the book - quite an accomplishment!
As for this one, I find that as I grow older, I appreciate more an more poems that reflect back from a mature point of view - the original twist in this one is the note that their remain "unborn years" - what a great phrase!
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Mark. I appreciate your support and positive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Congratulations on the collection. I will try to get the ebook version. Is this tanka part of the front cover?
While this falls neatly into the 5-7-5-7-7 tanka format and the upper and lower poems doas Ray's notes demand it struck me as being somewhat verbose for the tanka form and it could with some fiddling around convey the idea in fewer syllables that might retain that essential minimalistic feel that is so typical of Japanese tanka.
Since I have been writing tanka more and more in the 3-5-3-5-5 form I have tended to feel that most 5-7-5-7-7 versions, including my own are often too verbose.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Congratulations on the collection. I will try to get the ebook version. Is this tanka part of the front cover?
While this falls neatly into the 5-7-5-7-7 tanka format and the upper and lower poems doas Ray's notes demand it struck me as being somewhat verbose for the tanka form and it could with some fiddling around convey the idea in fewer syllables that might retain that essential minimalistic feel that is so typical of Japanese tanka.
Since I have been writing tanka more and more in the 3-5-3-5-5 form I have tended to feel that most 5-7-5-7-7 versions, including my own are often too verbose.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Jim. I hope you enjoy and derive some amusement from Brindled Words. There's a lead time of about eight months with Ginninderra between submission of draft and final publication, and so all the poems are 2017 or earlier. This tanka will need to be put aside for a future collection, and maybe thinned down beforehand. Although I have stuck to the 5-7-5-7-7 here, I tend to agree that the more concise form is often better. I seldom dabble in Japanese short forms, but thought that if you could produce 365 tanka in a year, I should at least attempt one!
Comment from rjuselius
this is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear Tony! I love the Imagery, I think it deserves a strong bravo! well written, well received. I just hope I had a six left.
thank you dearfriend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a hearty hug!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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this is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry dear Tony! I love the Imagery, I think it deserves a strong bravo! well written, well received. I just hope I had a six left.
thank you dearfriend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a hearty hug!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Rebekka, for your lovely words about my Tanka. I appreciate the thought of a sixth star and, of course, the blessings and hug - which are worth far more! LOL Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I read this lovely poem and think of . . . myself!. ( I appreciate poems
that resonate with me.) Now in my sixties, I told spring and summer goodbye
long gone; MY fall will soon be ending. Poetry, to a great degree, sustains
me! Janice
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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I read this lovely poem and think of . . . myself!. ( I appreciate poems
that resonate with me.) Now in my sixties, I told spring and summer goodbye
long gone; MY fall will soon be ending. Poetry, to a great degree, sustains
me! Janice
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Janice, for your kind words about my Tanka. You've got a long way to go yet! I have to raise the puff to blow out seventy five candles next week! LOL. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
Wow. If the rest of the poems in your book are anything like this one, I would love to read the whole thing RIGHT NOW! *smile* This is exquisite. It took me several readings - mainly because most of the pieces here aren't very cerebral and so I never have to really engage my brain. ha! Your poem stopped me and made me really LOOK at that image you provided and put myself in the place of the author.
I find that I'm aging whether I like it or not. But I'm enjoying every day now with two amazing grandchildren. (HUZZAH!) Though I was born at the most amazing time and feel like I was a bridge between two crazy astounding generations, I'm not so sure anyone wants to hear my stories. *smile*
When you wrap them up like THIS? Oh, yeah. I think people will listen. Yes, sir. You are on to something here, dear friend. Fab job. Kudos!
Thanks so much for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Tony,
Wow. If the rest of the poems in your book are anything like this one, I would love to read the whole thing RIGHT NOW! *smile* This is exquisite. It took me several readings - mainly because most of the pieces here aren't very cerebral and so I never have to really engage my brain. ha! Your poem stopped me and made me really LOOK at that image you provided and put myself in the place of the author.
I find that I'm aging whether I like it or not. But I'm enjoying every day now with two amazing grandchildren. (HUZZAH!) Though I was born at the most amazing time and feel like I was a bridge between two crazy astounding generations, I'm not so sure anyone wants to hear my stories. *smile*
When you wrap them up like THIS? Oh, yeah. I think people will listen. Yes, sir. You are on to something here, dear friend. Fab job. Kudos!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Robyn, for your congratulations, and for your super lovely words about my Tanka. I appreciate the sixth star. Most generous. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from CD Richards
Congratulations on the latest addition to your published work, Tony. I have been missing your poetic postings here. All this time I thought it was because you were devoting all your energies to your French Letter story, and you were actually on a secret mission.
I particularly like the closing two lines.
Great job,
Craig
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Congratulations on the latest addition to your published work, Tony. I have been missing your poetic postings here. All this time I thought it was because you were devoting all your energies to your French Letter story, and you were actually on a secret mission.
I particularly like the closing two lines.
Great job,
Craig
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Craig, for your congratulations, and for your kind words about my Tanka. I appreciate the sixth star. Most generous. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tanka about an exclusive book of poems that are available now, right before Christmas. Autumn is the best of all the seasons in nature and our physical life that resembles our autumn years.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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A very well-written Tanka about an exclusive book of poems that are available now, right before Christmas. Autumn is the best of all the seasons in nature and our physical life that resembles our autumn years.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Sandra, for your kind words about my Tanka. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sugarray77
Tony, how wonderful to see your book showcased here. I loved the verse and am impressed by its depth and resonance. Good job and thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Melissa
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Tony, how wonderful to see your book showcased here. I loved the verse and am impressed by its depth and resonance. Good job and thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Melissa
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Melissa, for your kind words about my Tanka and my new book of poetry. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem uses metaphor and artwork well to describe aging by the change of seasons. The picture shows a pensive man.
Keep writing.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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This poem uses metaphor and artwork well to describe aging by the change of seasons. The picture shows a pensive man.
Keep writing.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Joan, for your kind words about my Tanka. Best wishes, Tony
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You are most kindly welcome, Tony.
Joan
Comment from Heather Knight
It's difficult to write a decent tanka (the number of words is so restricted).
Thanks for sharing and for the notes. And congratulations on the publication of your new book!
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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It's difficult to write a decent tanka (the number of words is so restricted).
Thanks for sharing and for the notes. And congratulations on the publication of your new book!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2018
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Many thanks, Maria, for your congratulations, and for your kind words about my Tanka. Best wishes, Tony
