But, Your Logic is Flawed
Free Verse Rebuttal21 total reviews
Comment from catch22
Hello Poet, I like the metaphor for salt of the earth hard work and toil without applause or fame. I largely agree but I wonder who exactly this poem is for. What is a millennial "radical"? I see elements of this behavior in ALL people that have a lot of money. My own mother falls into this camp--and she is well past being a millennial. Not sure I agree with the finger pointing, but hey, maybe you have had a particular set of experiences in mind when you wrote this. Either way, the poem flows well due to use of lists and parallel language between your lines. I also liked the repetition of the logic line. It drove home the point.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Hello Poet, I like the metaphor for salt of the earth hard work and toil without applause or fame. I largely agree but I wonder who exactly this poem is for. What is a millennial "radical"? I see elements of this behavior in ALL people that have a lot of money. My own mother falls into this camp--and she is well past being a millennial. Not sure I agree with the finger pointing, but hey, maybe you have had a particular set of experiences in mind when you wrote this. Either way, the poem flows well due to use of lists and parallel language between your lines. I also liked the repetition of the logic line. It drove home the point.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much. I enjoyed reading your comments.
All the best,
Comment from tempeste
An important and well executed theme.
Personally I have never underestimated the work of the bees , their vital importance .. I worked in a shop that sold only bee products .. From honey to cosmetic and health use.
The bees are dying drastically and that means our planet is too..mankind will pay for is destructive living .
We are not above ..we are part of this Eco-system and we all have a role to play in the bigger (ecosystem )and smaller picture( in society too).
We have a tendency to consider jobs like cleaners and rubbish collectors as degrading jobs yet these people perform a vital service to all of us...
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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An important and well executed theme.
Personally I have never underestimated the work of the bees , their vital importance .. I worked in a shop that sold only bee products .. From honey to cosmetic and health use.
The bees are dying drastically and that means our planet is too..mankind will pay for is destructive living .
We are not above ..we are part of this Eco-system and we all have a role to play in the bigger (ecosystem )and smaller picture( in society too).
We have a tendency to consider jobs like cleaners and rubbish collectors as degrading jobs yet these people perform a vital service to all of us...
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much, Tempeste. I am very glad you liked the poem and got the meanings. So grateful for your review.
Melissa
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your rebuttal in free verse. We all need to be 'grateful for the worker bees' assuming we are not among the unsophicated! More cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you for sharing your rebuttal in free verse. We all need to be 'grateful for the worker bees' assuming we are not among the unsophicated! More cheers- Joan
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much.
Melissa
Comment from nancy_e_davis
There is so much truth in what you say. It takes all kinds to make this world turn. The true fact of the matter we should never look down on someone unless we are helping them up. Well done Melissa! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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There is so much truth in what you say. It takes all kinds to make this world turn. The true fact of the matter we should never look down on someone unless we are helping them up. Well done Melissa! Nancy:)
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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I appreciate your review and comments, Nancy. I guess this is a mini rant... just wanted to encourage Millenials to take notice. Whew, I feel better for getting that off my chest! Hahaha
Melissa
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written thought-provoking free verse poem. There are many things we can be grateful for, but we usually only see the faults and the things that is not right in our lives.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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A very well-written thought-provoking free verse poem. There are many things we can be grateful for, but we usually only see the faults and the things that is not right in our lives.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Sandra. As always, a good review.
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
Wow, what a powerful, very well- worded poem. It really makes you think. How we take so much for granted never giving one iota of thought of how things came to be, who's responsible for it all Great poem.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Wow, what a powerful, very well- worded poem. It really makes you think. How we take so much for granted never giving one iota of thought of how things came to be, who's responsible for it all Great poem.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you. I was just allowing my thoughts freedom to share my impatience with the Millenials. (I am the mother of two of them) They do not seem grateful. I do not know if any will take this to heart, but at least I feel better that I have .. vented.. I am very pleased that you like it.
Melissa
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All my children are in that age range. You're right, they often come across as ungrateful, like the world and everyone in it owes them. That it should bend over backward for them. Don't know how many times I've told them you want it that bad, get your butt out there and work for it, you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth. So aggravating sometimes. Thank you for letting me vent, lol.
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👍👍
Comment from Kelly Hanna
This is a good write with attention paid to hard work and perseverance. I liked the repeated line of 'but your logic is flawed'. It brings the reader back to the original point of the poem. You point out that people these days expect everything handed to them. I agree! Great write!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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This is a good write with attention paid to hard work and perseverance. I liked the repeated line of 'but your logic is flawed'. It brings the reader back to the original point of the poem. You point out that people these days expect everything handed to them. I agree! Great write!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much, Kelly for reviewing this. I felt like it was a rant, but called it a rebuttal on common young adult culture. Well.... I got that out of my system.... LOL.
Melissa
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Yep, the worker bees have my respect and I never take any of it for granted. I once spent 8 weeks on a boat only a couple of years ago, no electricity and very little water, these experiences make you appreciate plugging in your electrical devices and water on tap, an unusual free write championing the workers, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Yep, the worker bees have my respect and I never take any of it for granted. I once spent 8 weeks on a boat only a couple of years ago, no electricity and very little water, these experiences make you appreciate plugging in your electrical devices and water on tap, an unusual free write championing the workers, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Hello there. This poem is a bit off my beaten path. I have been fed up with the Millenial rants of late and wanted to clear my mind, so I wrote a rebuttal. I wish they could be grateful for what they have and focus on bettering themselves and getting ahead... Oh well, I feel better. LOL
Melissa
Comment from Pamusart
Hi again Melissa. This is different from you. Indeed. We all need worker bees. I was a worker bee. I could have managed people, but I never wanted. Who am I to judge them or control their salaries or lay them off? Thank you for sharing
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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Hi again Melissa. This is different from you. Indeed. We all need worker bees. I was a worker bee. I could have managed people, but I never wanted. Who am I to judge them or control their salaries or lay them off? Thank you for sharing
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Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Thanks so much, Pam. Yes, a different tone from me, but one that I have thought about for a while. Just imagined myself being able to speak to that generation. I appreciate your review...
All the best,
Melissa
Comment from CD Richards
Absolutely, Melissa. My middle child is a Gen Y, and has pretty much the same attitude. Never done a proper day's work, surviving instead by being a lifelong student; getting grants and allowances. Lasted all of a few weeks in a "proper" job. Nice "work" if you can get it.
Not everyone can be managers and business owners and doctors and lawyers. We need cooks and waiters and cleaners and road workers and tradespeople of all sorts, and will for some time to come. Heaven knows what things will be like when we don't. There is no disgrace in any honest occupation.
Love the photo, and the points you make.
Cheers,
Craig
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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Absolutely, Melissa. My middle child is a Gen Y, and has pretty much the same attitude. Never done a proper day's work, surviving instead by being a lifelong student; getting grants and allowances. Lasted all of a few weeks in a "proper" job. Nice "work" if you can get it.
Not everyone can be managers and business owners and doctors and lawyers. We need cooks and waiters and cleaners and road workers and tradespeople of all sorts, and will for some time to come. Heaven knows what things will be like when we don't. There is no disgrace in any honest occupation.
Love the photo, and the points you make.
Cheers,
Craig
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018
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Hello, Craig... I decided to stop being upset with that generation and offer a rebuttal.... perhaps, they have not paused to think about these things. I appreciate your review!!
Melissa
