My Old Clock
Tanka 3-7-7-5-319 total reviews
Comment from Tootsie55
This was an interestiog little poem about an old clock. ON one of the Facebook groups about Australia we have been discussing Grandfather clocks and mantel clocks as this is that our families had over the years. Good picture. One possible Spag...Japanese(')s form ....OR just...Japanese[s] form Wish you well in the contest. Look for my entries. Not in this particular contest though.
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This was an interestiog little poem about an old clock. ON one of the Facebook groups about Australia we have been discussing Grandfather clocks and mantel clocks as this is that our families had over the years. Good picture. One possible Spag...Japanese(')s form ....OR just...Japanese[s] form Wish you well in the contest. Look for my entries. Not in this particular contest though.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from country ranch writer
Nice work up for this short and sweet poem. I have ones of these on my desk. It belonged to my grandfather.one of the things of his I cherish the most.
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Nice work up for this short and sweet poem. I have ones of these on my desk. It belonged to my grandfather.one of the things of his I cherish the most.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from Pantygynt
This one conforms to the 'five free form lines under thirty-one syllables' pattern. The third line works well as a pivot perhaps less so as a satori, and for full understanding of the description a glance at the picture is necessary if only to confirm what has been written
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This one conforms to the 'five free form lines under thirty-one syllables' pattern. The third line works well as a pivot perhaps less so as a satori, and for full understanding of the description a glance at the picture is necessary if only to confirm what has been written
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from ioana.u
Unsweep all you want, stubborn old hand, time doesn't care!
You always express so much in just a few words!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Ioana
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Unsweep all you want, stubborn old hand, time doesn't care!
You always express so much in just a few words!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Ioana
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about an old clock that gathered dust over the years and it doesnot work very well but the time did not stop because the clock stands still.
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A very well-written poem about an old clock that gathered dust over the years and it doesnot work very well but the time did not stop because the clock stands still.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from rama devi
I love the imagery, tone and tenor in voicing and the presentation. I am confused by your long third line...shouldn't it be one of the short ones? I thought of recommending revision but when I read it aloud it feels perfect in flow and dramatic pause. I don't recommend changing anything but I wonder if the judges will not like the format...just a thought.
Deep reflective read. Bravo and good luck.
Love and Light,
rd
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I love the imagery, tone and tenor in voicing and the presentation. I am confused by your long third line...shouldn't it be one of the short ones? I thought of recommending revision but when I read it aloud it feels perfect in flow and dramatic pause. I don't recommend changing anything but I wonder if the judges will not like the format...just a thought.
Deep reflective read. Bravo and good luck.
Love and Light,
rd
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from Narelle Bannister
I really like this one. A great example of tanka poetry which reminds us that time stands still for no reason. A worthy entry for a win. Goodluck in the competition.
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I really like this one. A great example of tanka poetry which reminds us that time stands still for no reason. A worthy entry for a win. Goodluck in the competition.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
He he he, I enjoyed your Tanka and nothing stops time no matter how we try and beat it, but my cunning plan is to put the clock forward 10 minutes just to fool myself and then I save 10 minutes for those last minute jobs! That's my silly theory anyway, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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He he he, I enjoyed your Tanka and nothing stops time no matter how we try and beat it, but my cunning plan is to put the clock forward 10 minutes just to fool myself and then I save 10 minutes for those last minute jobs! That's my silly theory anyway, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is good, Michael. It's a bittersweet poem about the passage of time. Your mantle clock evokes sweet memories of days gone by. My parents had a clock like that. Your missing clock arm is the bitter part. It shows our lack of control over time. I like your personification of time as it "brushes by."
This is masterfully composed. I would not be surprised if you win. Good luck.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is good, Michael. It's a bittersweet poem about the passage of time. Your mantle clock evokes sweet memories of days gone by. My parents had a clock like that. Your missing clock arm is the bitter part. It shows our lack of control over time. I like your personification of time as it "brushes by."
This is masterfully composed. I would not be surprised if you win. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2018
