Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Interesting philosophical poem about the use of language and words! I kept thinking about the Word (the Bible) while reading this because the words written by so many in ancient Hebrew, some in Aramaic and the later ones in Koine Greek. They were were all translated, transformed, and interpreted. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can see the transfiguration of those human words itno living Truth.

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2018

Thank you so much for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the poem. I hadn't really thought of this as a religious piece, but I see how it is so abstract it could be applied to just about anything and the metaphor works. It is the feel of transformation, transfiguration that I wanted to capture in this, the spiritual transcending the physical. Glad you enjoyed it and found it so uplifting. estory

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello estory
I must say I had fun p;plying with your play on these words; descriptions of perceptions. Smiles do you realize that you came up with a new style of writing poems now, what are you going to Label you new format ? Gert

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your encouraging comments supporting this poem. I am glad you found it so enjoyable and significant. I don't know if I'm inventing a new format; I think it's more like evolution. My poetry borrows on ideas from free verse, and elements of minimalistic repetitions in some cases. But I like trying out new forms and trying to expand on the ways that you can make music with language; so your tribute is very flattering. I appreciate the support...estory

reply by Gert sherwood on 07-Dec-2018

You are welcome estory Gert

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Estory, this is certainly a poem with a difference and I liked it. I liked the play with the words and I can see where you're coming from when you mention music because, yes, indeed, there is sound to every word you're writing. At least that's how I perceive it. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am glad that you got what I was trying to do here, and enjoyed it. estory

Comment from susand3022

Excellent

Hi Estory, I really liked that. You really have a way with the progression and evolution of words in this piece. From the conception of thought, to putting it down on paper, to the reading, interpretation and beyond. nicely done. Susan

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your encouraging comments supporting this piece. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it so thought provoking. It was a bit of an experiment, and not sure how it would be received, but at least for you it seems to have worked. This one is really one of those I do that is primarily a musical piece. estory

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Wow! after my 4th, 5th, or 6th read I think I have taken in most of what you are saying, your notes helped which I read after try number 1, it is complicating but when I take it in bit by bit it does come out, I enjoyed this mind stimulation, I will have to read a few more times though, very enjoyable****kahpot

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting comments and perspective on the piece. This is kind of experimental, really more of a musical exercise than anything, but I am glad you enjoyed it and found it so thought provoking. The language is minimalistic, stripped down into repeating patterns of phrases and forms of words gradually changing; so it may not work for everybody. I had fun writing it though...estory

Comment from Kelly Hanna

Excellent

This was definitely a creative poem! A lot of tongue twisting going on in this piece, and it read really fast. It took effort to slow it down as I read. I do appreciate the creative flow here! I liked the speed of the rhymes after I reread it. So great work on this piece. It's the first and only like it I've seen! And I've seen quite a few at this point!

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Well I like to be new and different, so I am happy with your excellent review and your encouraging comments that seem to say that this little experiment worked. It really is mostly a musical exercise, made up out of gradually changing forms of words and repeating patterns of phrases; a different format than traditional rhyme scheme and meter for sure. But hey, we can't stand still like a stone in a running stream. We have to evolve with it. estory

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I like the thoughtfulness you've applied to this work. The words you use go a long way in the descriptive process of creating music in the language of such, you've well chosen the forcefulness of them. The repetitive nature of word placement renders compulsion to the clever expressions, and the strength of that expression. Well done, more than a poem. Well done, blessingsm Roy ,

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your unique perspective on this experimental piece. I am happy that most people seem to have liked it; it is a very different kind of poem than the traditional meter and rhyme scheme. I like to try new things, and this was fun to write. estory

reply by royowen on 05-Dec-2018

Well done

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Fantastic experimental style and musicality with the repeats and interwoven phrases. i would love to hear you read your poetry aloud!


Favorite lines:

Lifting us like alphabets
Lifted out of languages,

Levitating, levitating,

Above the information, the words
Transformed by ideas
Into interpretations

Your poem accomplishes what your notes describe.
Fine smattering of alliteraiton and other devices.

A virtual six *****


Warmly,
rd

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your encouraging comments and support of my work, as always. This was fun to write and once I had the basic pattern and format down, I just had a ball playing around with the concept of the meaning of words levitating out of their sentences. It is experimental, but I am glad it seems to have worked. I love playing around with new formats and styles of creating music in language. estory

reply by rama devi on 05-Dec-2018

I enjoy your unique creativity!

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Definitely one of those poems that needs to be read aloud in order to feel the musical effect of the language, which is clearly of more importance to the writer in this work than dictionary 'meanings' of words although there is a 'sense' in there as well. An interesting piece of experimental poetry.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your perspective on this experimental piece. It was fun to write, and I am glad that it seems to have worked, most people seem to have enjoyed it. I love doing new and different forms of making music with language. estory

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

A very intriguing write that seems to take a mental meandering through the pathways of an actual thought as perceived in the beginning and then rises and falls and even transforms before an understanding is reached by the mind that contains it.....:) ;) Thank you for this unique free verse offering today! :) ;)

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2018

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting take on the poem; you seem to have enjoyed the ride as the words lifted out of the sentences and spellings and levitated in these looping gyres...This was fun to write. estory