Be Wee With Bea
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Crashing Sounds"An allegory in the Winnie the Pooh genre
13 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
How wonderful to know that one has friends that can relate to all of our issues...whether they know that's what we need or not! :) But, of course, that is why they are our friends! :) You've done a lovely job here illustrating how it sometimes is just one thing that can bring old feelings rushing back at us - then, of course, our response to that can then cascade into others....And we even trip and hurt ourselves along that path. Again, that's why we have friends...and, sometimes, even just the thought of how we can help another can wash away those 'old feelings'...:) ;) ) :)
Thanx so much for sharing dear Bea -- always look forward to it! :) ;) Yvette :)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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How wonderful to know that one has friends that can relate to all of our issues...whether they know that's what we need or not! :) But, of course, that is why they are our friends! :) You've done a lovely job here illustrating how it sometimes is just one thing that can bring old feelings rushing back at us - then, of course, our response to that can then cascade into others....And we even trip and hurt ourselves along that path. Again, that's why we have friends...and, sometimes, even just the thought of how we can help another can wash away those 'old feelings'...:) ;) ) :)
Thanx so much for sharing dear Bea -- always look forward to it! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
Wow, such a very positive review. Thank you. I'm glad you are getting meaning out of my story.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Liz. I am not much on animal accented stories, but I found this one interesting. If you are serious about continuing this theme however, you might use some of these suggestions:
Suggestions: Always, always, start your chapters off with a strong "Hook." because you want to entice your reader to continue on immediately and it needs to get their attention. Try this for instance:
"Bea believed that the maker had Timothy paddle into her life for many wonderful reasons" And build around that hook after thst with whatever you wish.
Also get out of the habit of using "would" as a crutch to propel your action. Example: " Bea would do her BRAIN exercise. During these quiet moments, she would remember to thank the maker of the beaver."
Try Bea performed (or did) her BRAIN exercises.During those moments she remembered to thank the maker of beaver."
And last: Make it a practice to eliminate the use of as many adverbs (words ending in "ly" as possible. They are the "weeds" of good writing and if you use a stronger verb to modify your action you will not need them (or very few.)
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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Hi, Liz. I am not much on animal accented stories, but I found this one interesting. If you are serious about continuing this theme however, you might use some of these suggestions:
Suggestions: Always, always, start your chapters off with a strong "Hook." because you want to entice your reader to continue on immediately and it needs to get their attention. Try this for instance:
"Bea believed that the maker had Timothy paddle into her life for many wonderful reasons" And build around that hook after thst with whatever you wish.
Also get out of the habit of using "would" as a crutch to propel your action. Example: " Bea would do her BRAIN exercise. During these quiet moments, she would remember to thank the maker of the beaver."
Try Bea performed (or did) her BRAIN exercises.During those moments she remembered to thank the maker of beaver."
And last: Make it a practice to eliminate the use of as many adverbs (words ending in "ly" as possible. They are the "weeds" of good writing and if you use a stronger verb to modify your action you will not need them (or very few.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your suggestions. I have learned a lot since I've joined this group. Thank you for your caring review.
Comment from lyenochka
Such a nice relationship Bea has with Timothy. It's great that Timothy replants the trees that he cuts. That gives the children a sense of responsibility to nature.
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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Such a nice relationship Bea has with Timothy. It's great that Timothy replants the trees that he cuts. That gives the children a sense of responsibility to nature.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2018
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I am glad you enjoyed my story and thank you for your supportive review. I'm also glad you saw the ecological example intended here.
