This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Gladys and Veronica Talk"Third book in the time travel trilogy
37 total reviews
Comment from Kelly Hanna
Hi! I only say one error in the third paragraph from the bottom.
I really enjoy Veronica's time travelling stories and I love Mildred! You've created a great realm of characters in this story! I will certainly keep reading these great chapters! Your writing is very easy to read and it flows nicely as a short chapter. Great job on this book! A very creative storyline!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Hi! I only say one error in the third paragraph from the bottom.
I really enjoy Veronica's time travelling stories and I love Mildred! You've created a great realm of characters in this story! I will certainly keep reading these great chapters! Your writing is very easy to read and it flows nicely as a short chapter. Great job on this book! A very creative storyline!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much, Kelly, for your lovely review. I'm so pleased you like my characters. :)) Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh dear, what will she tell Gladys and will she believe it? Well I would guess anything is possible if you are a ghost wandering still on earth. Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Oh dear, what will she tell Gladys and will she believe it? Well I would guess anything is possible if you are a ghost wandering still on earth. Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter. Rox
Comment Written 08-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you, Rox, for another lovely review. Veronica has a lot to sort out now, lol. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rama devi
Interesting chapter. I like ghost stories! (Have met a few, myself).
Well penned, as usual, with great characterization, narrative detail, dialog, and pacing.
A few suggestions:
* and it now must be at least 1916(,) if the First World War had started and Zeppelins were bombing London.
*"I'm not surprised(,) if you were wearing flimsy clothing like that," she said.
* I do know one thing, he's a wonderful doctor(,) and I'm so proud of him.
*She was nowhere to be seen, and I was glad.
Maybe change WAS to FELT
Due to the carnage created by the Zeppelin bombings, stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive,
Delete WERE ARRIVING or WERE CONTINUING TO ARRIVE :-))
* and a shock of auburn hair, which(,) at this moment in time(,) was matted to his brow as he concentrated on stemming the flow of blood from a patient.
* As we went nearer, I could see the compassion in his eyes,(no ,) and hear the soothing tone of his voice.
* What grabbed my attention more were the two children beside her. It was Edie and Jimmy!
What grabbed my attention more were the two children beside her: it was Edie and Jimmy!
*
"Isn't that's your friend, Mildred, the one who was arrested at the same time as me in 1913.(?)
Much Love,
rd
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Interesting chapter. I like ghost stories! (Have met a few, myself).
Well penned, as usual, with great characterization, narrative detail, dialog, and pacing.
A few suggestions:
* and it now must be at least 1916(,) if the First World War had started and Zeppelins were bombing London.
*"I'm not surprised(,) if you were wearing flimsy clothing like that," she said.
* I do know one thing, he's a wonderful doctor(,) and I'm so proud of him.
*She was nowhere to be seen, and I was glad.
Maybe change WAS to FELT
Due to the carnage created by the Zeppelin bombings, stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive,
Delete WERE ARRIVING or WERE CONTINUING TO ARRIVE :-))
* and a shock of auburn hair, which(,) at this moment in time(,) was matted to his brow as he concentrated on stemming the flow of blood from a patient.
* As we went nearer, I could see the compassion in his eyes,(no ,) and hear the soothing tone of his voice.
* What grabbed my attention more were the two children beside her. It was Edie and Jimmy!
What grabbed my attention more were the two children beside her: it was Edie and Jimmy!
*
"Isn't that's your friend, Mildred, the one who was arrested at the same time as me in 1913.(?)
Much Love,
rd
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you so very much again, Rama, for another very helpful review You know how much I appreciate it. I've just copied and pasted and will be sorting it all now. I've been out all morning, but wanted to thank you before I got stuck-in! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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big hugs, dear! :=)))) xxo
Comment from country ranch writer
Well, you can fool some people but sometimes one must speak, to tell the truth, to explain the unexplainable. They are in a quandary.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Well, you can fool some people but sometimes one must speak, to tell the truth, to explain the unexplainable. They are in a quandary.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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They most certainly are. Veronica has to pull out all the stops to explain this and hope to convince Gladys she and Mildred aren't insane! lol. Thank you so much for your lovely review, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rwilliam
Due to the carnage created by the Zeppelin bombings, stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive, and finding beds for the injured looked to be almost impossible-- the stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive...I don't understand what you're trying to say. Maybe it's the language thing. (Sorry if it is).
I realized, as I read your story, that the details make it believable. I really LOVE that about your work. I feel like this really happened. Great writing!!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Due to the carnage created by the Zeppelin bombings, stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive, and finding beds for the injured looked to be almost impossible-- the stretchers were arriving were continuing to arrive...I don't understand what you're trying to say. Maybe it's the language thing. (Sorry if it is).
I realized, as I read your story, that the details make it believable. I really LOVE that about your work. I feel like this really happened. Great writing!!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for all the lovely stars, my dear Rebecca. No, you read it right, it's wrong! LOL. Thank you for pointing it out, dear, I changed the original sentence and didn't fully delete the old one. It's all been corrected now. I really appreciated you telling me, my friend, it helps me enormously. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from aryr
This was so well done Sandra. You provided fantastic details and descriptions throughout. It was a shame that Gladys had died and indirectly at the hands of her husband. It was a wonderful touch to add the part about unfinished business and Tommy was hers. Now poor Veronica has to explain who and what she and Mildred are. Very enjoyable to read. Thanks so much for sharing my friend. Big hugs and smiles.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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This was so well done Sandra. You provided fantastic details and descriptions throughout. It was a shame that Gladys had died and indirectly at the hands of her husband. It was a wonderful touch to add the part about unfinished business and Tommy was hers. Now poor Veronica has to explain who and what she and Mildred are. Very enjoyable to read. Thanks so much for sharing my friend. Big hugs and smiles.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you for this amazing review, Alie, I really appreciate it. I hope Veronica comes up with a good explanation! lol. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are so welcome Sandra, this is so enjoyable. Hugs and smiles.
Comment from K. R. Ward
Yes, I did notice your work to be in UK English, as I'm from USA. Still enjoyed reading it though. The characters were engaging and fully developed. The pacing was on the slower side, but since this is a book I feel that it was done on purpose. The only thing I felt was missing was a sense of tragedy in the description of the hospital setting. Of course, I don't know if this was done in a previous chapter. Best!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Yes, I did notice your work to be in UK English, as I'm from USA. Still enjoyed reading it though. The characters were engaging and fully developed. The pacing was on the slower side, but since this is a book I feel that it was done on purpose. The only thing I felt was missing was a sense of tragedy in the description of the hospital setting. Of course, I don't know if this was done in a previous chapter. Best!
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you for your lovely review, K.R. Ward, I really appreciate your views. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Good stuff here once again. Nice detailing and an ease with moving the timeframe and story on.
"You're dead?" But what happened to you?" - you have an extra speech mark in here.
and my pink nighty must have looked - I'm not 100% sure here but I think nightie is more usual.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Hi Sandra,
Good stuff here once again. Nice detailing and an ease with moving the timeframe and story on.
"You're dead?" But what happened to you?" - you have an extra speech mark in here.
and my pink nighty must have looked - I'm not 100% sure here but I think nightie is more usual.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much again, Gareth, for finding the nits. You're right, about the nightie. It's good that you know about such things, LOL!!! Thank you for the lovely review, my friend. Big hugs, Sandra xxx
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Always a pleasure.
Comment from Mistydawn
Well, she has to explain it all now, not sure how she'll accomplish that. The story is well-written, very interesting, your characters and dialogue seem real. I just had a thought, maybe they're sent there to right a wrong, make sure Charles is punished for his deed? I know I have to wait and see, lol. Good job as always.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Well, she has to explain it all now, not sure how she'll accomplish that. The story is well-written, very interesting, your characters and dialogue seem real. I just had a thought, maybe they're sent there to right a wrong, make sure Charles is punished for his deed? I know I have to wait and see, lol. Good job as always.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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That could be, Misty, I'm waiting for Veronica to find out, so she can tell me!! lol. Thank you so much for your lovely review, my friend. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story. Big hugs. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Sandra, my goodness, you really are churning out the good work. I never read the stories on FS. I came here for the poetry. I do not have enough time, between painting that pays so has precedence and poetry and all the other everyday things. But I really do admire your work - you are a truly talented lady, and dedicated. I see you have in print a children's alphabet book. I remember one you did, way back when, for your grandson, ploughing through initials of different animals - is that the one you now have in print? He will be beyond that now. I'm still plodding on, can't even make a firm decision about the title of my book LOL. Keep changing my mind. 'Bye for now. Love Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Hello Sandra, my goodness, you really are churning out the good work. I never read the stories on FS. I came here for the poetry. I do not have enough time, between painting that pays so has precedence and poetry and all the other everyday things. But I really do admire your work - you are a truly talented lady, and dedicated. I see you have in print a children's alphabet book. I remember one you did, way back when, for your grandson, ploughing through initials of different animals - is that the one you now have in print? He will be beyond that now. I'm still plodding on, can't even make a firm decision about the title of my book LOL. Keep changing my mind. 'Bye for now. Love Dorothy xx
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Gosh, your memory is good, Dorothy. Yes, that is the ABC book. He has that one too. lol. There are two, one is for older children and has more facts about each animal, a lot of which are in danger of extinction. I enjoyed writing and researching for that one. How is your book doing, have you uploaded it to KDP yet? Thanks for popping in my friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
