Death by Delivery
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Family Retaliation "Nick takes down criminals that cost him his job.
11 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Oh, he's crazy all right. About to kill Rachel unless something happens quick. Maybe she can still talk her way out of it... at least stall until Nick can get there to save her. And he doesn't even know that she's there. Hurry!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Oh, he's crazy all right. About to kill Rachel unless something happens quick. Maybe she can still talk her way out of it... at least stall until Nick can get there to save her. And he doesn't even know that she's there. Hurry!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thank you for your great review, It's so much fun to read your comments especially when they're so full of so much vigor. It tickles me to see that you're really getting into the story.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship it means so much to me, take care.
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Thank you for your great review, It's so much fun to read your comments especially when they're so full of so much vigor. It tickles me to see that you're really getting into the story.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship it means so much to me, take care.
Comment from apky
Nick seems to have run into trouble and stands between the devil and the deep blue sea. You've also loaded this one with so much excitement.
Joe demonstrates what a great boss he is by saving everybody's face within his team. And our Rachel is still the positive busybody who gives everybody headaches - the good team of hers and her loved ones as well as the bad guys. What's to complain about?
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Nick seems to have run into trouble and stands between the devil and the deep blue sea. You've also loaded this one with so much excitement.
Joe demonstrates what a great boss he is by saving everybody's face within his team. And our Rachel is still the positive busybody who gives everybody headaches - the good team of hers and her loved ones as well as the bad guys. What's to complain about?
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for' such a fantastic review and your six-star rating, I'm very honored. Rachel is definitely a pain, taking risks she shouldn't. Like most who live on the edge, her risk-taking will be her demise.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. I couldn't have advanced this far without you and for that, I'm eternally grateful, take care.
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Thank you so much for' such a fantastic review and your six-star rating, I'm very honored. Rachel is definitely a pain, taking risks she shouldn't. Like most who live on the edge, her risk-taking will be her demise.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. I couldn't have advanced this far without you and for that, I'm eternally grateful, take care.
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Aww, Misty, you make me blush, with so much praise. I can almost feel my head growing bigger...
Comment from country ranch writer
This is all messed up with Rachel disobeying orders and getting her self in a pickle they aren't too happy with her right now down at the station, Can they get to her in time to save her?
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2018
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This is all messed up with Rachel disobeying orders and getting her self in a pickle they aren't too happy with her right now down at the station, Can they get to her in time to save her?
Comment Written 09-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2018
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Thank you for your great review. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Rachel will definitely be in some hot water when they find her if they find her.
Thank you again for all your help and support it means a lot to me, take care.
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smiles
Comment from Ulla
So the story continues and you managed to keep me engaged. The story is really coming along and the character development is also really taking shape. I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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So the story continues and you managed to keep me engaged. The story is really coming along and the character development is also really taking shape. I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your sweet review and for all your positive feedback. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. I hope to keep your interest until the end.
Thank you again for your kind review all your help and support, take care.
Comment from Lu Saluna
Hi there,
It's been a long time but I am finally back. This is amazing. Looks like a great story line and your writing is really amazing. You have improved so much. The creativity is also flowing like crazy. It is very 3-dimensional. Congrats on being in 13th place. That is an awesome achievement. I am very pleased for you.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Take care,
Lura
This is the only thing I saw. The second comma should be a period:
"Since you're her superior, and this is the second time she's disobeyed you, I believe you should be in charge of her reprimand." [This sentence should read"]
"Since you're her superior, and this is the second time she's disobeyed you. I believe you should be in charge of her reprimand."
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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Hi there,
It's been a long time but I am finally back. This is amazing. Looks like a great story line and your writing is really amazing. You have improved so much. The creativity is also flowing like crazy. It is very 3-dimensional. Congrats on being in 13th place. That is an awesome achievement. I am very pleased for you.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Take care,
Lura
This is the only thing I saw. The second comma should be a period:
"Since you're her superior, and this is the second time she's disobeyed you, I believe you should be in charge of her reprimand." [This sentence should read"]
"Since you're her superior, and this is the second time she's disobeyed you. I believe you should be in charge of her reprimand."
Comment Written 08-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018
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It's so nice to hear from you again. I do hope all is well. Thank you so much for your marvelous review and all your wonderful praise, it means so much to me. I know that I couldn't have done it without everyone's help and an occasional temper fit only to realize they're right, lol.
Thank you again for your fantastic review, I do hope to hear from you again, take care.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh dear it sounds like Nick may be in big trouble. But it's more likely the boss is upset that all his customers are dying. Nick better get his cell phone back in a hurry. Rox
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Oh dear it sounds like Nick may be in big trouble. But it's more likely the boss is upset that all his customers are dying. Nick better get his cell phone back in a hurry. Rox
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review. Yeah, both Nick and Rachel may be in a world of hurt now.
Thank you again for reading my story, all your help support, and friendship. It means so much to me, take care.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
There's a lot of excitement in this chapter. Joe did a good job saving face with his crew. He is going to be a good Boss in the long run. Rachel was making some headway with her kidnappers until Mama stepped in.
I only have one suggestion Dawn and I hope you accept it in the spirit given. The picture is a turnoff for me. It looks more like a comedy than a mystery write. I almost move on every time I see it. That is just my opinion so please don't take offence. It's just some others might feel the same way about it. Waiting to see if Rachel escapes or is rescued. Well done! :)Nancy
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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There's a lot of excitement in this chapter. Joe did a good job saving face with his crew. He is going to be a good Boss in the long run. Rachel was making some headway with her kidnappers until Mama stepped in.
I only have one suggestion Dawn and I hope you accept it in the spirit given. The picture is a turnoff for me. It looks more like a comedy than a mystery write. I almost move on every time I see it. That is just my opinion so please don't take offence. It's just some others might feel the same way about it. Waiting to see if Rachel escapes or is rescued. Well done! :)Nancy
Comment Written 07-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review, I'm so glad you're continuing to enjoy this story. A comedy? Oh, that's no go. I'll rethink the picture see what I can come up with.
Thank you again for all your help, support It means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from knottysailor65
It's hard to judge the merits of a single portion of a story but your explanations of the basic plot and characters made it much easier. Overall, this section read well and flowed pretty smoothly. My only issue was a few MINOR grammatical errors (commas in the wrong place and such) that tripped me up a bit. FYI - I must confess to being something of a grammar fiend so don't worry about it detracting from the story in any way.
Keep up the good work :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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It's hard to judge the merits of a single portion of a story but your explanations of the basic plot and characters made it much easier. Overall, this section read well and flowed pretty smoothly. My only issue was a few MINOR grammatical errors (commas in the wrong place and such) that tripped me up a bit. FYI - I must confess to being something of a grammar fiend so don't worry about it detracting from the story in any way.
Keep up the good work :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I do have a quick question about my English, Italian translation. I wasn't sure how to write it so I used bold italics, to differentiate it from the thoughts. Is that alright? if not what do you suggest?
Thank you again for your great review, take care.
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Your use of bold italics was a perfect way to indicate the translations. Using the language in addition to the translation is not a common practice but I like it because it adds an extra measure of reality to the characters.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
I can say you know how to make a reader to desire to keep reading. I really liked the very tense scene between Rachel and her captives, Tito and his partner -- the dialogue was great and how you translated Italian with its English translation in bold italics.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Hello Mistydawn
I can say you know how to make a reader to desire to keep reading. I really liked the very tense scene between Rachel and her captives, Tito and his partner -- the dialogue was great and how you translated Italian with its English translation in bold italics.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for all your support, I truly do appreciate it. I was worried the bold italics would be distracting take away from the story but wasn't sure how else to show it.
Thank you again for your continued support, your help and your friendship it means a lot to me, take care.
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You are welcome Mistydawn
Gert
Comment from Lady Jane
Jerry's(,) too.
"I'm leaving that up to you(.) (J)ust know this has been a long time coming."
"That's right(.) (H)e said I should kill you and everyone you care about like you did Mama and me."
"You won't be able to stop it, not once the police (get) involved. - remove 's' from 'gets'
"Fallo, figliolo. Do it, son.(") - or, if you want to just italicize the 'Do it, son.' so readers understand what it means then you can possibly leave the end quotes after 'figliolo.'
Please mama, please, don't make me do this. - italicize?
We'll go to Italy where you'll be safe. - italicize?
Promise? - italicize?
I promise(,) son. - same here. You can italicize, or put end quotes after 'son' - with the explanation of the alternate language following the 'end quotes' each time the words are spoken, I'd try italicizing the 'English' interpretation so it sets it off as an 'explanation/interpretation and not just a continuation of the speaker's thought.
This is a well written chapter. I enjoyed the mother's words in HER language and your classic interpretation of each discourse. I did add some edits above, but nothing to detract a star for as they are minor. The language portion is also not required, just something I think will help the reader determine what was said. Excellent dialogue and plot forming. I don't think I've read this series. I may just have to work backwards. Maybe, just maybe, she's not as insubordinate as they thought? Hmmm....the plot thickens. And, Tony, just what trouble has he gotten himself into?
Until next installment, keep writing and thanks for sharing.
Janelle
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Jerry's(,) too.
"I'm leaving that up to you(.) (J)ust know this has been a long time coming."
"That's right(.) (H)e said I should kill you and everyone you care about like you did Mama and me."
"You won't be able to stop it, not once the police (get) involved. - remove 's' from 'gets'
"Fallo, figliolo. Do it, son.(") - or, if you want to just italicize the 'Do it, son.' so readers understand what it means then you can possibly leave the end quotes after 'figliolo.'
Please mama, please, don't make me do this. - italicize?
We'll go to Italy where you'll be safe. - italicize?
Promise? - italicize?
I promise(,) son. - same here. You can italicize, or put end quotes after 'son' - with the explanation of the alternate language following the 'end quotes' each time the words are spoken, I'd try italicizing the 'English' interpretation so it sets it off as an 'explanation/interpretation and not just a continuation of the speaker's thought.
This is a well written chapter. I enjoyed the mother's words in HER language and your classic interpretation of each discourse. I did add some edits above, but nothing to detract a star for as they are minor. The language portion is also not required, just something I think will help the reader determine what was said. Excellent dialogue and plot forming. I don't think I've read this series. I may just have to work backwards. Maybe, just maybe, she's not as insubordinate as they thought? Hmmm....the plot thickens. And, Tony, just what trouble has he gotten himself into?
Until next installment, keep writing and thanks for sharing.
Janelle
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review and for all of your help. Suggestions are always greatly appreciated. I thought about doing the interpretation in italics as you suggested, but I have thoughts in italics so that might be confusing, right? So I did bold italics and then put an explanation at the top of the page. Will, that work? If not what would work?
Thank you again for your wonderful review and for all your help, take care.
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I wouldn?t bold the italics. Just italicize with possible a note at bottom :-) I think people will understand your intention ;-)
Janelle
Great writing!
