Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Nick is pretty desperate if he'll give away his killing pen. Or does he hope the guy will use some of it and die? But then the others will attack. I don't see him getting out of this easily, but I hope he will.

I forget where Rachel went. Did she get captured?

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for your review. Nick didn't leave the pen, oh no, he still has work to do. I'll go back and fix that. Thanks for your subtle hint, lol. Love how you do that; point something out, make me think about it. Of course, you're always on point.
Thank you again for your kind review all your help, encouragement and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
Hope you're doing better.

reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for your review. Nick didn't leave the pen, oh no, he still has work to do. I'll go back and fix that. Thanks for your subtle hint, lol. Love how you do that; point something out, make me think about it. Of course, you're always on point.
Thank you again for your kind review all your help, encouragement and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
Hope you're doing better.
ps. I went back to change it, but I really can't, not the way I left it. So I'll be sure to add it in the next chapter.

Comment from apky

Excellent

I so feel sorry for Jerry, blaming himself for letting everybody down, while he tries so hard to do things right. Joe, I can understand, taking into account what his feelings for Rachel are.

I have a couple of suggestions below.

Three(delete-,) armed, gorilla-like men are coming from behind him and(on?) both sides; a huge bluff in front of him.

"What do (you) think we should do with him?" he asks, scratching his crotch.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018

Thank you for your great review and all your support. Joe is letting his personal feelings get in the way. If he'd stop and think for a second he'd remember how stubborn, hardheaded Rachel can be. How many times she's gone against his orders. Poor Jerr, If something happens to Rachel, he'll be a basket case for sure.
Thank you again for all your help, support, friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

So Rachel is still awol and Nick seems to be getting more and more tricky situations

he doesn't want any hard feeling between them. - feelings?

"What the hell do you think you're doing, trespassing on private property?" - don't think you need the comma here.

Watch your perspective here. When you refer to Nick as prowler and lad, it's almost like switching perspective away from him to someone else, but we always return to him and his thoughts. In these sections he should be the focal point.

I put a little of this in here and you're ready to go." - need opening speech marks here.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018

Thank you for your very helpful review. I used prowler, lad so I wouldn't use Nick's name as much. That was my thought anyhow, lol. Is there a better way to do this so it won't seem like I'm switching perspectives?

Thank you again for your kind review and for all your help it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018

Thank you for your very helpful review. I used prowler, lad so I wouldn't use Nick's name as much. That was my thought anyhow, lol. Is there a better way to do this so it won't seem like I'm switching perspectives?

Thank you again for your kind review and for all your help it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Exceptional

Hello Mistydawn
I noticed that you didn't give a # to this chapter. I read about the three parts of what is happenings with-- Nick, Diaz, Sharon and searching for Rachel to me is done very well,
Gert

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you for your great review and your wonderful 6 stars. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm going to have to go back and see what's going on with the # thing. Maybe it's evil Eddie again, that darn pain in my butt. Last week he changed fonts on me towards the end of the chapter. Grrr.
Thank you again for all your help support and friendship, it's always truly appreciated, take care.

reply by Gert sherwood on 29-Oct-2018

You are welcome Mistydawn
I know what you mean by evil-Eddie
Gert

Comment from KatyM

Excellent

Hey Misty, Glad to see a chapter that is new that I can read. :) I did find one little thing in this sentence. Where it says liquid then an h and from. I am not sure what you were trying to say.

"I won't." He pulls a pen-shaped object and a bottle of liquid h from his pocket. I put a little of this in here and you're ready to go."
As always no additions or subtractions!
katy

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you for the kind review and your encouragement I'm so glad you liked it. Liquid h a street name for heroin. I thought I'd be kool look up, use street slang, but you're right that would be confusing. I should probably change that.
Thank you again for your review and your helpful suggestion. Hope all is well with you, hubby hasn't driven you completely bonkers, take care.

reply by KatyM on 29-Oct-2018

Shows you how much I know. lol I had no idea! No he isn't driven me crazy yet but he is working on it. There was a call today on his phone I took for him while he was inside the store. It was a recruiter from Texas that had a possible IT job. I was secretly hoping he would get a job out of state for a bit. Just so I could have a breather. My bad! lol
ttyl katy

Comment from royowen

Excellent

So, instead of getting shot, Nick may bag a few more ODs instead, he does live dangerously this character. Poor Jerry, it seems like he's copping it from Joe, Racel is still trying to figure out why there is such a high than usual ODs killing themselves. You've done some research I suspect. Well done, good job. Blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you for your great review. Nick is living dangerously for sure. Messing with a member of a mob, killing addicts. All for the sake of revenge. His plan might backfire. If you looked at my search history you'd swear I'm a psychotic serial killer high on, drugs, lol. I'm not, of course. In reality, I'm a timid, nature-loving country girl who creates wild stories. My addictions, coffee and cheezits. A far cry from what I write about.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

reply by royowen on 29-Oct-2018

Well done, enjoyable work. I don't think Agatha Christie led an exciting life...except in her head. So well done. Roy

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Your imagery is very well done dawn. Nick was in a dangerous situation there for a while. He had all
the right answers that held off sudden death from the three mountaineers. LOL Can't wait to see what happens with Rachel. Well done. Nancy

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you for such a great review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Poor Nick thought he was a goner for sure but his smooth talking turned the tables around. Rachel, oh that lady, she's always getting into some sort of trouble doesn't know how to behave, lol.
Thank you again for your great review, take care.

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

This is a very well written piece rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
Adjective Content and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you for your kind review, and your encouraging, high praise, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you again for reading my chapter, take care.