Short Stories and Flash
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Least of Us"Misc Fiction
21 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
WOW! This contest entry speaks volumes of needing a purpose in life. I have read a few entries for this and each one is better than the previous. They've all been good. Yours is the best yet. Good luck.
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WOW! This contest entry speaks volumes of needing a purpose in life. I have read a few entries for this and each one is better than the previous. They've all been good. Yours is the best yet. Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from humpwhistle
Took me a minute to link the two stories, Mikey, but that's good in Flash.
Give me a chance to participate, to figure it out.
I must say, you've enlisted two powerful constituencies--animal lovers, and the 'All Lives Matter' movement.
Well done.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
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Took me a minute to link the two stories, Mikey, but that's good in Flash.
Give me a chance to participate, to figure it out.
I must say, you've enlisted two powerful constituencies--animal lovers, and the 'All Lives Matter' movement.
Well done.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from Galactia
Hi
What an excellent written story. It is very hard to have a complete story with a beginning, middle and end as well as a surprise at the end. Where you had the gun out, I assume to put it down, if the bird was not going to survive and especially back in the wild?
I was assuming that.?
Great story and Good luck I think you're going to do extremely well.
Regards
Tia
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Hi
What an excellent written story. It is very hard to have a complete story with a beginning, middle and end as well as a surprise at the end. Where you had the gun out, I assume to put it down, if the bird was not going to survive and especially back in the wild?
I was assuming that.?
Great story and Good luck I think you're going to do extremely well.
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a clever piece of flash fiction with a neat twist towards the end that gives a purpose to the whole piece. In saving the bird the author finds a purpose in life that saves him from the suicide planned.
Word count is spot on at 75.
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This is a clever piece of flash fiction with a neat twist towards the end that gives a purpose to the whole piece. In saving the bird the author finds a purpose in life that saves him from the suicide planned.
Word count is spot on at 75.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from karenina
An excellent entry into the Flash Fiction contest! How skillfully you trace the gossamer thread of one living thing to another. Dickinson wrote "Hope is a thing with feathers." There are so many of us with broken wings in this world...so much packed expertly into seventy five words!
Karenina
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An excellent entry into the Flash Fiction contest! How skillfully you trace the gossamer thread of one living thing to another. Dickinson wrote "Hope is a thing with feathers." There are so many of us with broken wings in this world...so much packed expertly into seventy five words!
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from Scarbrems
Oh, Mikey, this was beautiful. So touching, and so complete. You gave us a whole story, not a scene (I always end up with a scene when I try to do this).
Just a little point - I dipped my finger in my coffee(,) putting it to her beak.
Loved it. I'd wish you luck in the contest, but you don't need it.
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Oh, Mikey, this was beautiful. So touching, and so complete. You gave us a whole story, not a scene (I always end up with a scene when I try to do this).
Just a little point - I dipped my finger in my coffee(,) putting it to her beak.
Loved it. I'd wish you luck in the contest, but you don't need it.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from poesyapprentice
A sweet and moving story told in so few words. The twist at the end made it great. I think it will appeal to the nature/animal lovers in the vote, plus it's sappy, lol ; ) A good choice for an entry, I think. A cool read, regardless. No errors that I could find. Good luck to you!
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A sweet and moving story told in so few words. The twist at the end made it great. I think it will appeal to the nature/animal lovers in the vote, plus it's sappy, lol ; ) A good choice for an entry, I think. A cool read, regardless. No errors that I could find. Good luck to you!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from Gloria ....
Whoa talk about synchronicity in this wonderful flash fiction. Like who saved who but that is the way it works isn't it? I knew I love those little birdies for some reason.
Fantastic entry into the contest and I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Ange
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Whoa talk about synchronicity in this wonderful flash fiction. Like who saved who but that is the way it works isn't it? I knew I love those little birdies for some reason.
Fantastic entry into the contest and I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Ange
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from nordicgirl
Oh, my, Michael. This just took me by surprise and knocked me over. I thought it was very sweet and very you, saving a helpless creature and all. But I DIDN'T see the twist at the end. I wish you'd write more. I loved this. NG
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Oh, my, Michael. This just took me by surprise and knocked me over. I thought it was very sweet and very you, saving a helpless creature and all. But I DIDN'T see the twist at the end. I wish you'd write more. I loved this. NG
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Michael. This looks like a good entry for the contest. This has happened to me in real life once. I bought a gun to put into my mouth and pull the trigger. My cat got up on me and cried and would not get down. I would have killed him too. So I put the gun away. Then I wept into his fur and we cuddled. I thought about my husband and what it would do to him. I made an emergency appointment with the doctor. Of course, it was Friday. I had to get through two days and three nights. I took extra sleeping pills so I would sleep through most of it and got help come Monday. When we moved back to California, we returned the gun and bullets to the gun shop. I am bipolar and had had a pretty big stroke. The part of my brain that reacted well to my meds had been destroyed. Anyway. I am OK now. Sorry. You just made me think of it. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
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Hi Michael. This looks like a good entry for the contest. This has happened to me in real life once. I bought a gun to put into my mouth and pull the trigger. My cat got up on me and cried and would not get down. I would have killed him too. So I put the gun away. Then I wept into his fur and we cuddled. I thought about my husband and what it would do to him. I made an emergency appointment with the doctor. Of course, it was Friday. I had to get through two days and three nights. I took extra sleeping pills so I would sleep through most of it and got help come Monday. When we moved back to California, we returned the gun and bullets to the gun shop. I am bipolar and had had a pretty big stroke. The part of my brain that reacted well to my meds had been destroyed. Anyway. I am OK now. Sorry. You just made me think of it. Nicely done. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
