Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello Mistydawn
between with Nick wondering if Diaz beat up him mother and his brother to death or did Diaz say she died in a car accident or (Misty my question is was Diaz brother with his mother)
Or was the accident staged

And then we have wondering if Rachel is playing games or is she in a dire situation?
Gert

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for your Kind review I truly appreciate it.
To answer your question, Diaz tells Nick that Nora Nick's mom and the boys were run off the road. A little later I have Nick remembering what he was told that his mom, brother was beaten to death. I then show how he's confused by the conflicting stories. Since you seemed a little unclear I went back and reviewed chapter 1 where I briefly mentioned what he was told. I then went back to 6 and added he was born prematurely because of it (the beating) to expand on the original idea. Not sure if that makes it better, worse or indifferent. What do you think? Do you think I should mention this back in chapter 3 or 4 to keep it in the reader's heads? Your opinion on this would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

reply by Gert sherwood on 29-Oct-2018

Hello Mistydawn
Yes, when you went back to Chapter six (6) and added that Diaz was premature when he was born ?cause of the beating, to me makes it clearer.
Misty, I believe it would be a good idea for you to mention to expand on your idea, in Chapter three (3) and also Chapter four (4), but what would you expand on in Chapter 3 and 4?
Misty, I hope I was of some help.
Smiles Gert

reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018

It'd have to be only chapter 3. There's nowhere where it'd sound right in chapter 4. In 3 when Nick is caught in Diaz's office maybe mention him seeing a picture of Diaz and his mom, which brings back memories?

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Misty, it looks like Nick is caught up in a tangle that seems difficult to get out of. This was a well written chapter that I really enjoyed to read. I can't wait to see what is to happen next. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018

Thank you for your kind review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Nick is facing some scary men for sure, just when he thought the police put the worst possible fright in him too, lol.
Thank you again for all your encouragement, help and support, it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Nice instalment here. Let's hope Rachel's ok but if she's pranking, I'd have her on suspension for sure. lol

My guts telling me something is wrong - gut's.

"Why don't you close the door first," - should probably have a question mark in here.

"I've ... I've got to get out of here, Nick thinks, trying to figure out what to do. - you've got opening speech marks here but no closing ones. Not sure you need them.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for your great review and helpful suggestions. You think it might be a prank do you, lol.
Thank you again for all your help and support it's always greatly appreciated, take care.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I wonder what Nivk has run into with two armed men on his case, earlier he hears that Diaz's wife, Nick's mum was in a car accident, and that was what killed her, not being beaten to death. Earlier Jerry might be in big trouble. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : "Because she's nice to look at?(")

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for all your help and support, it's always greatly appreciated. Both Nick and Rachel are in a bad situation, right now. Jerry, well, he's about to get a butt chewing from Joe.
Thank you again for all your help and support it's always greatly appreciated.

reply by royowen on 25-Oct-2018

Well done

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Well, this certainly has an interesting ending. Now I will have to read more to find out what becomes of Nick. The writing captivates one's attention from start to finish. Good work.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2018

Thank you for your kind review your encouraging words, and your interest in the story. I do hope to see you again, take care.