The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Giverny"A Novel
32 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
An excellent continuation of the story.
I'll never be able to think of Bangkok in the same way. lol
The mystery steps up a notch with the reappearance of the two men
and their appropriately black Citroen. No other car would do.
It seems Helen is being followed, or perhaps it is Charles.
I don't believe I've ever heard: "cameras clicking like the consonants of Kalahari bushmen.'
Wonderful line.
And now the man with the "white streak"
Intriguing ending
Six Monet's
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Hello Tony,
An excellent continuation of the story.
I'll never be able to think of Bangkok in the same way. lol
The mystery steps up a notch with the reappearance of the two men
and their appropriately black Citroen. No other car would do.
It seems Helen is being followed, or perhaps it is Charles.
I don't believe I've ever heard: "cameras clicking like the consonants of Kalahari bushmen.'
Wonderful line.
And now the man with the "white streak"
Intriguing ending
Six Monet's
Robert
Comment Written 07-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Thanks, Robert. I remember years ago when I was in the RAF, listening to a British Overseas Airways [BOAC] aircraft making radio contact with Bangkok. Their callsign was always 'Speedbird' . The co-pilot was young, inexperienced and obviously a bit nervous, His initial radio contact came out as "Bangbird, Bangbird. This is Speedcock 07 requesting permission to land"! I don't thin he ever lived it down!
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That's a great story!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-The photograph is beautiful, Tony.
-A very good chapter that moves the story
forward, flows well, and adds more
suspense with the two suspicious men,
just when Charles was in a joyful mood!
-I like the imagery and description
of Monet's home and gardens.
-It must have been amazing to
be able to see that in person.
-Charles continues to wonder about
Helen and what she might be fearful of.
-The ending gives us a hint of what we
can expect in the next chapter, as they spot
the "unmistakable streak of white in the man's hair."
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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-The photograph is beautiful, Tony.
-A very good chapter that moves the story
forward, flows well, and adds more
suspense with the two suspicious men,
just when Charles was in a joyful mood!
-I like the imagery and description
of Monet's home and gardens.
-It must have been amazing to
be able to see that in person.
-Charles continues to wonder about
Helen and what she might be fearful of.
-The ending gives us a hint of what we
can expect in the next chapter, as they spot
the "unmistakable streak of white in the man's hair."
Comment Written 07-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, Pam. We were very lucky to visit Giverny on a beautiful summer's day, when the water lilies were in full bloom. Despite all of the crowds, it was a memorable experience. What I would have given to be there alone!
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You are very welcome, Tony. You were luck to have had a beautiful day. Crowds do take away from an experience, but just to see that site had to have been wonderful.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for adding your own photograph to establish the mood for this chapter. Your descriptions made me curious about the "mysterious gardener" and the "two men". To be continued... Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Thank you for adding your own photograph to establish the mood for this chapter. Your descriptions made me curious about the "mysterious gardener" and the "two men". To be continued... Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 07-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, Joan. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from BeasPeas
Another well written chapter to your story. Sentences roll along beautifully. Good dialogue. Described well throughout. I did get a kick out of your Bangkok joke. Marilyn
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Another well written chapter to your story. Sentences roll along beautifully. Good dialogue. Described well throughout. I did get a kick out of your Bangkok joke. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, Marilyn. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Lady Jane
She 'had' dropped so many hints about what - I'd remove the 'had' in this sentence - just a suggestion
With that(,) she turned away from me and buried her head among the pillows. - comma needed
"Confucius say... man with erection, who walk through airport door sideways, is going to Bangkok." - this made me chuckle. You could put this in italics as opposed to quotes for stronger effect as he's thinking it, LOL! This was choice! LOVE IT!!!
It was a 'five-minute' walk from the carpark to the admission gate, and by a quarter to ten there was already a small queue of people waiting to get in. - edit suggestion - add a hyphen here :)
Well executed installment, Dear. The dialogue is crisp and easy to follow, the content is sheer genius, wondering what's running amuck with the reoccurring creepy dudes though. Eek! The writing was clean and easy to follow. Just a few suggestions above, none worth detracting a star for ... Another solid chapter, TFAWCUS. Thanks for sharing. I'm enjoying reading this through.
Janelle
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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She 'had' dropped so many hints about what - I'd remove the 'had' in this sentence - just a suggestion
With that(,) she turned away from me and buried her head among the pillows. - comma needed
"Confucius say... man with erection, who walk through airport door sideways, is going to Bangkok." - this made me chuckle. You could put this in italics as opposed to quotes for stronger effect as he's thinking it, LOL! This was choice! LOVE IT!!!
It was a 'five-minute' walk from the carpark to the admission gate, and by a quarter to ten there was already a small queue of people waiting to get in. - edit suggestion - add a hyphen here :)
Well executed installment, Dear. The dialogue is crisp and easy to follow, the content is sheer genius, wondering what's running amuck with the reoccurring creepy dudes though. Eek! The writing was clean and easy to follow. Just a few suggestions above, none worth detracting a star for ... Another solid chapter, TFAWCUS. Thanks for sharing. I'm enjoying reading this through.
Janelle
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, Janelle. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Thank you so much for picking up those errors, which I have now fixed. I was particularly glad of your comments about the dialogue. I'm in the midst of rather a good book on the subject of writing effective dialogue. It seems that there is quite a bit to learn! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Alain is found. Good! Now hopefully we'll have some answers, although I am sure not all of them and probably even more questions. LOL
Next morning after breakfast, we decided to walk back down the hill to Michel's garage. (The following morning....)
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Alain is found. Good! Now hopefully we'll have some answers, although I am sure not all of them and probably even more questions. LOL
Next morning after breakfast, we decided to walk back down the hill to Michel's garage. (The following morning....)
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, Barbara. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Thanks, too, for the suggestion. It's a good one! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> Hey, my friend, I want to thank you for wishing me a happy birthday, again!
>I really like this line I thought it was beautifully written: "The herbaceous borders were drowsy with bees and heavy with the scent of roses and honeysuckle. A Babel of admiring voices surrounded us, interspersed with cameras clicking like the consonants of Kalahari bushmen"
> I thought you metaphorically and through the use of inventive creativeness formed and imagery that lasted in my mind like you painted my frontal lobes.
>They finally found him! hooray hooray.
> I like
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
> Hey, my friend, I want to thank you for wishing me a happy birthday, again!
>I really like this line I thought it was beautifully written: "The herbaceous borders were drowsy with bees and heavy with the scent of roses and honeysuckle. A Babel of admiring voices surrounded us, interspersed with cameras clicking like the consonants of Kalahari bushmen"
> I thought you metaphorically and through the use of inventive creativeness formed and imagery that lasted in my mind like you painted my frontal lobes.
>They finally found him! hooray hooray.
> I like
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Alex. As always, much appreciated. Glad to hear that you had a happy birthday. May there be many more! Best wishes, Tony
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Thank you, Tony and blessings to your family and friends.
Alx
Comment from estory
The exotic settings continue to dominate the landscape of this story. I think you're jumping around between France and the Far East too abruptly. You cast a wide net in this story, and it's hard for me to reconcile the mystery in France with the jarring history you revealed in Asia. It's like two different stories. The dialogue is crisp, you inject a bit more mystery with the appearance of this mysterious men inquiring about the car, and then that shady character clipping the roses with the shock of white hair. I think you need to decide if this is a romance novel or a mystery. estory
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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The exotic settings continue to dominate the landscape of this story. I think you're jumping around between France and the Far East too abruptly. You cast a wide net in this story, and it's hard for me to reconcile the mystery in France with the jarring history you revealed in Asia. It's like two different stories. The dialogue is crisp, you inject a bit more mystery with the appearance of this mysterious men inquiring about the car, and then that shady character clipping the roses with the shock of white hair. I think you need to decide if this is a romance novel or a mystery. estory
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Very many thanks for this review, estory. The genesis of the tale was the supposed mystery of the envelope discovered in the stamp market, but I have allowed it to be overtaken to some extent by the budding romance between Charles and Helen, and by the possibly more interesting mystery of her background. I have a fairly clear idea of where I'm going with this, but very much value your comments. They echo concerns that I am beginning to have myself, and I'm aware that I may need to do some major editing of content. However, for the time being, I'm going to carry on writing what I have in mind, and then have a critical look at the plot structure and genre classification, with a view to sharpening the story.
Comment from apky
Hahahaha, I loved the Confucius joke - it seemed rather apt, considering all we hear in the media and read about, concerning sex tourists (and the majority do seem to be male!)
And the photograph is lovely, by the way.
Once again you took the reader down the story path in vivid descriptions and poignant prose. I only pouted with annoyance - well, impatience, really - when you decided to end the chapter exactly where I wanted it to keep going!
Clever writer, you!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Hahahaha, I loved the Confucius joke - it seemed rather apt, considering all we hear in the media and read about, concerning sex tourists (and the majority do seem to be male!)
And the photograph is lovely, by the way.
Once again you took the reader down the story path in vivid descriptions and poignant prose. I only pouted with annoyance - well, impatience, really - when you decided to end the chapter exactly where I wanted it to keep going!
Clever writer, you!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Many thanks, apky, both for the review and the extra star. Much appreciated! It's a moot point as to whether I stopped there to tantalise the reader or to give myself time to decide where this is going next!
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Right, I know just what you mean; I've been there!
Comment from Debbie Pope
I like the mysteriousness of Helen in this chapter. I even like your horrible Bangkok joke. Where in the world did you come up with that joke? Or did the joke come first and you decided to send your characters to Bangkok so you could use it. Oh the tricks up the sleeve of the fiction writer.
You have created suspense with this chapter. I look forward to hearing from the gardener soon.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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I like the mysteriousness of Helen in this chapter. I even like your horrible Bangkok joke. Where in the world did you come up with that joke? Or did the joke come first and you decided to send your characters to Bangkok so you could use it. Oh the tricks up the sleeve of the fiction writer.
You have created suspense with this chapter. I look forward to hearing from the gardener soon.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018
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Thanks, Debbie. It really is a rather old and corny joke, but one that always seems to pop up into my mind when I think of Bangkok! Best wishes, Tony
