The Maple Bonsai
A Rondel for Potlatch29 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
I have ignored my yard maple too long...its myriad branches are flogging my house and burying my yard in leaves. Guess I'll hire cuz to trim it. For seasons after a trimming it's a huge ball of color. Hope that explains things to your maple. Looks like an excellent Rondel for the club.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I have ignored my yard maple too long...its myriad branches are flogging my house and burying my yard in leaves. Guess I'll hire cuz to trim it. For seasons after a trimming it's a huge ball of color. Hope that explains things to your maple. Looks like an excellent Rondel for the club.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you. I just wanted to top taken out so it wouldn't be so top heavy in strong winds. I've never done that before. I really like things to grow the way they should. I, too, have oodles of leaves and new sprouts to pull up. Still, I love it.
Comment from judiverse
This is lovely. Excellent work with the repeating lines. You worked them in smoothly. Interesting thoughts from the tree, as it can't understand why it's been chopped up like that. It must feel like a sheep that's just been sheared. The thought about wondering if friends would recognize it is great. Fine work with your rhyme and flow. judi
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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This is lovely. Excellent work with the repeating lines. You worked them in smoothly. Interesting thoughts from the tree, as it can't understand why it's been chopped up like that. It must feel like a sheep that's just been sheared. The thought about wondering if friends would recognize it is great. Fine work with your rhyme and flow. judi
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Judy. You always give such lovely reviews.
Comment from tfawcus
How savagely we prune to bend nature to our will! I enjoyed hearing the perspective of the poor plant. She seems almost as distraught as a young maiden deprived of her golden tresses! A charming poem that makes the most of this old French form.My only suggestion would be a comma here: "My many friends(,) I'm wondering if they".
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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How savagely we prune to bend nature to our will! I enjoyed hearing the perspective of the poor plant. She seems almost as distraught as a young maiden deprived of her golden tresses! A charming poem that makes the most of this old French form.My only suggestion would be a comma here: "My many friends(,) I'm wondering if they".
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I wondered about that comma. I'll go and add it. Thank you, Tony.
It was inspired by the fact that I had my haircut the other day, came home and chopped on it myself, and had to go back for a rescue trim. Plus, I wanted to top off my huge maple so it would be less likely to blow over in strong winds. The man said he'd take 6-8 feet off all around. I told him he'd do no such thing. Just the top.
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We, too, have a gardener here occasionally, who is a draconian pruner! We sometimes look in disbelief, but he is usually right - the plants come back stronger and more compact for it. I'm sure my dear wife would have a fit if I attacked the foliage with such brutality!
Comment from Gloria ....
A very lovely poem, Yvonne. Your metre written to perfection and rhymes and a most apt observation of the sometimes not too attractive "hair cut" trees receive in the fall for no particular good reason.
A lovely poem and contribution to the Potlatch club.
Gloria
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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A very lovely poem, Yvonne. Your metre written to perfection and rhymes and a most apt observation of the sometimes not too attractive "hair cut" trees receive in the fall for no particular good reason.
A lovely poem and contribution to the Potlatch club.
Gloria
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Gloria. I wish you'd join us in Potlatch. You probably have some good ideas. Jan and I run this together, and sometimes we run out of ideas.
Comment from Tina Crute
I am crazy about this poem. Whoever thought of limbs as tresses? Well, you did. This is an adorable, well- crafted poem from a tree's perspective. I will remember this for awhile because you made me see a tree as a girl with lovely long hair that had it cut , and is not so sure about her new look! Love it!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I am crazy about this poem. Whoever thought of limbs as tresses? Well, you did. This is an adorable, well- crafted poem from a tree's perspective. I will remember this for awhile because you made me see a tree as a girl with lovely long hair that had it cut , and is not so sure about her new look! Love it!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I can relate because I had my hair cut a few days ago, then came home and chopped on it, and had to go back for a rescue cut. LOL. Poor tree didn't have any choice. Thank you for a lovely review.
Comment from mermaids
I like the image of the tree becoming a bonsai. You have a smooth flow of lines and rhyming words. "My tresses long and full were cut today" is a wonderful line that shows the tree as a character. Excellent poetic form that captures the beauty of nature.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I like the image of the tree becoming a bonsai. You have a smooth flow of lines and rhyming words. "My tresses long and full were cut today" is a wonderful line that shows the tree as a character. Excellent poetic form that captures the beauty of nature.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you for this great review. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you could see the tree as a 'person.'
Comment from RodG
Usually in my community the telephone company will suddenly appear and lop off without warning any branches hanging over phone lines. The result is ugly trees with half their limbs. A very good rondel with a refrain that evokes sympathy from your reader.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Usually in my community the telephone company will suddenly appear and lop off without warning any branches hanging over phone lines. The result is ugly trees with half their limbs. A very good rondel with a refrain that evokes sympathy from your reader.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Rod, for such a sympathetic review. It's awful when they do that.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I really like this Damommy. It sounds like it's being told from the tree's perspective. Without warning, all of the years growing those long locks had come to an end. The poor thing was even asking why. I like how you've brought personality to this beautiful tree and brought it forth. Great job and well done!
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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I really like this Damommy. It sounds like it's being told from the tree's perspective. Without warning, all of the years growing those long locks had come to an end. The poor thing was even asking why. I like how you've brought personality to this beautiful tree and brought it forth. Great job and well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Jeffrey. I appreciate the lovely comments.
Comment from lyenochka
You're so good at these types of formats with repeating lines. I wouldn't know when or what to repeat (except for the kyrielle).
I love the personification of the bonsai maple tree. I'd be pretty upset, too with my new haircut!
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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You're so good at these types of formats with repeating lines. I wouldn't know when or what to repeat (except for the kyrielle).
I love the personification of the bonsai maple tree. I'd be pretty upset, too with my new haircut!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2018
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Lol. Thank you so much for this delightful review. I got my haircut the other day, then came home and chopped on it, and had to go back for a rescue cut. Not happy. 8-)
