Deadly Confession
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Final Showdown "Family secrets can be your worst nightmare.
9 total reviews
Comment from apky
Hey there, Misty,
You certainly got this one packed with action and racing forward like nobody's business.
To be frank, I lmost feel sorry that the story comes to an end. I could have continued forever. This was terrific, lady!
Give us some more!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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Hey there, Misty,
You certainly got this one packed with action and racing forward like nobody's business.
To be frank, I lmost feel sorry that the story comes to an end. I could have continued forever. This was terrific, lady!
Give us some more!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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I am so honored by your fantastic review. It means so much to me coming from you my teacher, mentor. You definitely made my week.
I had a hard time with this chapter I think subconsciously I didn't want it to end. After dozens of rewrites I realized everything beyond this is repetitive. :{
The good news is I'm working on a new story Death by Delivery. After loosing his job in the police force Nick decides to go after the criminal ring that cost him his job.
Thank you again for such a marvelous review all your encouragement, help, support and friendship. They mean the world to me, take care.
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That sounds so thrilling! A cop out for revenge! Have you published the other stories yet?
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Bittersweet Revenge, Town Slayer and Granny's Revenge is out. I'm working on a synopsis for Deadly confessions, hoping to get it published by the end of the week.
Wonderful! You should let us know the buy links here in FS - I think.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
A happy ending. A fun read. I have just one suggestion. The bomb needs a bit more explanation. I had forgotten about it and couldn't figure out what the box was and why he was throwing it. But maybe if you read one chapter after another you wouldn't need it? Anyway I am guessing this is the end? But no doubt there are more stories waiting to be written. =) Rox
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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A happy ending. A fun read. I have just one suggestion. The bomb needs a bit more explanation. I had forgotten about it and couldn't figure out what the box was and why he was throwing it. But maybe if you read one chapter after another you wouldn't need it? Anyway I am guessing this is the end? But no doubt there are more stories waiting to be written. =) Rox
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for your great review I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're right I should add a little more about the bomb. I'll go fix it now. I'm working on another story Death by Delivery. After being fired from the police force, Nick decides to go after the criminal ring that cost him his job.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship it means so much to me, take care.
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I took your advice and added this. The ticking gets louder as Max continues towards the woods. I've got to get the bomb as far away as I can.
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Sounds great.
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That sounds VERY interesting. =}
Comment from Ulla
So is this the end then? Surely some more is to happen. I enjoyed the ride and it was action packed. I have a couple of things:
She starts to raise up when she hears someone coming towards her. = She starts to rise when she hears someone coming towards her. 'raise up' is grammatically wrong
Rachel starts to pull the trigger when she recognizes the voice. = Rachel is about to pull the trigger when she recognizes the voice. Just a suggestion. I think it reads smoother. I enjoy the story. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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So is this the end then? Surely some more is to happen. I enjoyed the ride and it was action packed. I have a couple of things:
She starts to raise up when she hears someone coming towards her. = She starts to rise when she hears someone coming towards her. 'raise up' is grammatically wrong
Rachel starts to pull the trigger when she recognizes the voice. = Rachel is about to pull the trigger when she recognizes the voice. Just a suggestion. I think it reads smoother. I enjoy the story. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for another great review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for catching my mistakes.
I'm working on a new story Death by Delivery. After being fired from the police force, Nick decides to go after the criminal ring that cost him his job. Hope it sounds intriguing.
Thank you again for your wonderful reviews all your help support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
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I'm looking forward to it :)))
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Misty,
This is a very interesting chapter in your story. You do a great job of keeping the action exciting and allowing the reader to keep up with the action.
The only thing I questioned was the continual use of the nickname 'Jerr.' I felt like the name was overused, but that could just be me.
Thank you for sharing, and I will try to keep up with this storyline more,
~MP~
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2018
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Hi, Misty,
This is a very interesting chapter in your story. You do a great job of keeping the action exciting and allowing the reader to keep up with the action.
The only thing I questioned was the continual use of the nickname 'Jerr.' I felt like the name was overused, but that could just be me.
Thank you for sharing, and I will try to keep up with this storyline more,
~MP~
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2018
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Thank you for such a wonderful review and encouragement. I'm so glad you enjoyed the ending. I was hoping to make it one that readers won't soon forget.
I didn't realize that I used Jerr, Jerry 40 times. Joe and Rachel nearly as many so thanks for catching that.
Thank you again for your kind review, take care.
Fyi I'm working on a new story Death by Delivery. After being fired from the police force Nick decides to take down the criminal enterprise that made him loose it all.
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I'm honored to get such a review from you.
Comment from royowen
So Randy and Rachel "handle her adversaries, very neatly, with a very self satisfied air about her victory over Joe, who I think is moe than a little bit miffed. Well done with this action packed episode my friend, a most enjoyable episode. Good imagery, blessings, Roy
Typo I'll have (a) patrol sit on our house
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2018
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So Randy and Rachel "handle her adversaries, very neatly, with a very self satisfied air about her victory over Joe, who I think is moe than a little bit miffed. Well done with this action packed episode my friend, a most enjoyable episode. Good imagery, blessings, Roy
Typo I'll have (a) patrol sit on our house
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2018
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Thank you for another great review, I am so glad you enjoyed it. Joe don't know what to think or do with Rachel sometimes. She's his ying to his yang, yet a thorn in his side. They make a perfect couple wouldn't you say, lol.
Thank you again for your wonderful review all your help support and friendship it means so much to me, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
you certanley know how to keep a reader is suspense if Rachel will be saved from the hands of Luigi with his horrible plan to rid of Rachel.
Misty, I was a bit confused with this part of how it came about when
Randy notices a red substance
(( what was the red substance)) oozing from under the tools?
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Hello Mistydawn
you certanley know how to keep a reader is suspense if Rachel will be saved from the hands of Luigi with his horrible plan to rid of Rachel.
Misty, I was a bit confused with this part of how it came about when
Randy notices a red substance
(( what was the red substance)) oozing from under the tools?
Gert
Comment Written 30-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your great review, and all your encouragement. I never did say, did I? I was thinking transmission fluid. One of my friends fooled me with it once. I was panicked, thinking he was bleeding to death. I'll go fix that now, thanks for catching that. Thanks again for all your help, support and friendship, it means so much to me, take care.
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You are welcome Misty dawn
I thought I would mention it.
Gert
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I changed it a little added your suggestion. So it now reads.
Seeing transmission fluid toppled over beside her, he lets out a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad you're alright." He wraps his arms around her.
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I will take a look
I'm sure what you did will be fine.
Gert
Comment from KatyM
You had me biting my nails wondering what was going to happen to Rachel! Very good! I have no suggestions or subtractions! Love reading your stuff! Hope all is well over there. I forgot to ask you, where do you live? We are in SC but originally from Texas. Hoping to move back there soon.
laters, Happy Writing!
Katy
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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You had me biting my nails wondering what was going to happen to Rachel! Very good! I have no suggestions or subtractions! Love reading your stuff! Hope all is well over there. I forgot to ask you, where do you live? We are in SC but originally from Texas. Hoping to move back there soon.
laters, Happy Writing!
Katy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your great review I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I worked hard on this one, close to a week with numerous rewrites. I was hoping to find an ending that readers won't soon forget.
SC, oh my are you ok? You're not close to the floods, are you? After everything SC has been through I don't blame you for wanting to go back.
I live in Southern Missouri, about twenty minutes from Branson. Everything is fine here hope all is well with you, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Phew! I thought she would pass out. Exciting episode.
I hope [your] right, she thinks, gazing out the window. <-- you are = you're
By the way Joe, I was right about the perp being Tito's twin. <-- So was I. Hehe. :)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Phew! I thought she would pass out. Exciting episode.
I hope [your] right, she thinks, gazing out the window. <-- you are = you're
By the way Joe, I was right about the perp being Tito's twin. <-- So was I. Hehe. :)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for catching that. I have no idea how I missed that. Concentrating on everything else too hard I suppose. You sure did. That means I have to work harder to fool you. Hmmm, lol.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it means so much to me, take care.
Comment from Sugarray77
Whew! A great, action packed chapter. I thought she was a goner. Your dialogue development was good and flowed well between the police and citizens, but I would have added more dialogue from the bad guys too. It was very well written though.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Whew! A great, action packed chapter. I thought she was a goner. Your dialogue development was good and flowed well between the police and citizens, but I would have added more dialogue from the bad guys too. It was very well written though.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your great review, I'm glad you enjoyed all the action hope it kept you on the edge of your seat. The dialogue is one-sided. I'll go back and see what I can do.
Thank you again for your kind review, take care.
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I've added a couple of sentences, showed a little more of him fighting back. It's all I could do in that small space, I hope it helps.
