Dazzling Butterflies
A 5-7-5 poem26 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Oh, I liked this one. Word and syllable count is spot on and all the elements are there. Nice feel to the piece and the 'f' and 'b' sounds blend nicely throughout.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi there,
Oh, I liked this one. Word and syllable count is spot on and all the elements are there. Nice feel to the piece and the 'f' and 'b' sounds blend nicely throughout.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi GMG. Have not seen you in awhile. I am afraid to go out of this screen and lose all of my response. I will do it as soon as I save replies. It is become a fan of yours. Thank you for your lovely review
Comment from lyenochka
It's a fine haiku as well as a 5-7-5 poem! I love the picture and I love that last line, "endless fresh buffet." Butterflies do seem to be thoroughly enjoying themselves springing from flower to flower.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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It's a fine haiku as well as a 5-7-5 poem! I love the picture and I love that last line, "endless fresh buffet." Butterflies do seem to be thoroughly enjoying themselves springing from flower to flower.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Thank you lyenochka for your encouragement and lovely review
Comment from Lady Jane
just a thought:
'flit' into Spring's middle days ( I don't know...what do you think. After having 'fly' in previous line with butterfly, I thought maybe switching it up but with the same 'fl' sound.) - totally NOT required cause this poem stands well as is. Just a friendly writing thought :)
I LOVE the image you've chosen. Of course, you know I like these creatures in all their forms so that had me from the get go. The lovely ending line, endless fresh buffet- I can totally see them feasting. The verbiage, perfect structure, and delicate photo/presentation make this a stunning entry. Good luck, Pam. I love it...
Janelle
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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just a thought:
'flit' into Spring's middle days ( I don't know...what do you think. After having 'fly' in previous line with butterfly, I thought maybe switching it up but with the same 'fl' sound.) - totally NOT required cause this poem stands well as is. Just a friendly writing thought :)
I LOVE the image you've chosen. Of course, you know I like these creatures in all their forms so that had me from the get go. The lovely ending line, endless fresh buffet- I can totally see them feasting. The verbiage, perfect structure, and delicate photo/presentation make this a stunning entry. Good luck, Pam. I love it...
Janelle
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi Janelle. I will consider your suggestion. Thank you very much for it and for your lovely review
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I decided on glide. Sounds good, right? I could also use wing. What do you think? I am changing my mind to wing
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I went back to glide. Thank you
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I think glide works ;-) excellent choice
Comment from Air Spirit
First of all, the photograph of the butterflies is gorgeous!! The coloring is splendid, and the photograph of them facing one another is spectacular!! Your poem is wonderful as well, and I just love the line 'endless fresh buffet.' Wouldn't that be grand?? Well done!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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First of all, the photograph of the butterflies is gorgeous!! The coloring is splendid, and the photograph of them facing one another is spectacular!! Your poem is wonderful as well, and I just love the line 'endless fresh buffet.' Wouldn't that be grand?? Well done!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Thank you Cynthia for all of your encouragement and a wonderful review. Nice to see you tonight
Comment from WildWithWords
A glorious photo tops off a delightful short Haiku so colorfully, Pam. Satisfies all parameters (which is the main thing in any contest) and completes a short story/idea within the poem. Nice work, and again...love the pic.
Bill (WildWithWords)
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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2018
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A glorious photo tops off a delightful short Haiku so colorfully, Pam. Satisfies all parameters (which is the main thing in any contest) and completes a short story/idea within the poem. Nice work, and again...love the pic.
Bill (WildWithWords)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2018
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Thank you Bill for your nice comments and lovely review
Comment from June Sargent
Buffet, indeed! And those dazzling butterflies deserve the sweetness. A lovely poem for the contest! Great artwork to compliment it. well done. I enjoyed the read.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2018
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Buffet, indeed! And those dazzling butterflies deserve the sweetness. A lovely poem for the contest! Great artwork to compliment it. well done. I enjoyed the read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2018
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Thank you June for your lovely review
