Comment from Marvin Calloway

Excellent

This piece reads nicely and it's a good story.

willow had to think, (Maybe add a comma here)
feeling, of trying (Maybe omit a comma here)

I also enjoyed the nature scene.
Marv


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 Comment Written 19-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018

Thank you for your constructive review. I use Grammarly. I guess they can't catch everything of mine. When they give a summary of my most common errors, it's most often omitting a comma. In school, teachers said I used too many commas. So now, I'm over correcting. Gotta find the balance. Thank you

Comment from Beck Fenton

Excellent

I like the friendship that is emerging. Willow will be good for Bea and vice versa. Smile. The story is developing as your characters meet and become friends. All different and complex.
Loved this line" as she weeps her deep heart song, she should also remember to stand tall because it is a wonderful thing she does.

A couple of observations:

Bea did a little dance inside her BRAIN to hear that Willow actually worried too. (This jolted me out of the story... picturing a little bear dancing in the brain of a little bear... A simple Bea was surprised and happy to find out that Willow actually worried too.
She asked THE MAKER OF HOPE what to say. Just Maker is good. You don't want to get too specific with too many different Makers...
Grin,

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 Comment Written 19-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018

Thank you for your well thought out review, with your purposeful suggestions. I'm glad you are enjoying it.