Redemption
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Lance's death and Susie's grief"A wife gets revenge for her husbands death
3 total reviews
Comment from Earl Corp
I think you captured the main characters devotion to each other well.T he anticipation waiting for the shoe to drop is built up just right. I can visualize the hospital scene from what you have written.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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I think you captured the main characters devotion to each other well.T he anticipation waiting for the shoe to drop is built up just right. I can visualize the hospital scene from what you have written.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much for your input/review. This review tells me I am getting better on writing.
Comment from poetwatch
Good thriller, mystery story. I know the feeling one gets when something is not right. Life is unbalance in your world, and you feel weird. Found these parts that may need correcting. (Susie we came as soon as we can.) "we could" (my rock and I was his.) "was? did she already know?" (Lance didn't die of natural causes that job of his) "because of that?" thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Good thriller, mystery story. I know the feeling one gets when something is not right. Life is unbalance in your world, and you feel weird. Found these parts that may need correcting. (Susie we came as soon as we can.) "we could" (my rock and I was his.) "was? did she already know?" (Lance didn't die of natural causes that job of his) "because of that?" thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your review and finding the errors. I will correct them. Yeah was doesn't make sense because she has not been told of his passing yet. Thanks for catching that. In addition, thanks for catching the other thing to sometimes when I read it out loud to my husband I catch things but no always. So thank you.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written story that sounds like something that could really happen to a couple. You used very good descriptive words that also made for very good imagery. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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This is a very well written story that sounds like something that could really happen to a couple. You used very good descriptive words that also made for very good imagery. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thank you for your review. I really appreciate this. I hope you enjoy the rest of the book as the chapters are put on FanStory
