Floating in Air
A 5-7-5 poem44 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
Nicely explanatory. Colours create the imagery and fall into line with the image used.
I guess we are looking forward to the Autumn, yet when it arrives we will take no time in taking it for granted, with another season in sight.
Good luck with this.
My best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Nicely explanatory. Colours create the imagery and fall into line with the image used.
I guess we are looking forward to the Autumn, yet when it arrives we will take no time in taking it for granted, with another season in sight.
Good luck with this.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you RGstar for your really lovely review
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image, Pam.
-Yes, it is a haiku.
-You have the connection
between lines 1 and 2;
nature imagery, and a
seasonal reference, in
addition to a good syllable count.
-I like your vivid color imagery,
and you have a very good satori.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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-Very nice image, Pam.
-Yes, it is a haiku.
-You have the connection
between lines 1 and 2;
nature imagery, and a
seasonal reference, in
addition to a good syllable count.
-I like your vivid color imagery,
and you have a very good satori.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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From one Pam to another. Thank you for your really lovely review
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You are very welcome, Pam.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Yes it's Haiku and your syllable count is intact/ What adds the punch is always the 3rd line satori and you pilled this off with turning the colors into a parade. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Yes it's Haiku and your syllable count is intact/ What adds the punch is always the 3rd line satori and you pilled this off with turning the colors into a parade. Nicely done.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you Spiritual Echo for your lovely review. I really like your handle
Comment from Liberty Justice
SIX STARS 6******Indeed, red, green, orange and gold are delightful colors and a great sign of autumn. We sure do need a welcome relief from this 104 degree weather. Those colors are so beautiful free falling and floating away. Check my writings out, also. WELL DONE. liberty justice
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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SIX STARS 6******Indeed, red, green, orange and gold are delightful colors and a great sign of autumn. We sure do need a welcome relief from this 104 degree weather. Those colors are so beautiful free falling and floating away. Check my writings out, also. WELL DONE. liberty justice
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Wow. Thank you Liberty Justice for the extra star and for your really lovely review. I became your fan so I will see your future work
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Thanks for becoming my fan.
What an honor. Check out
my current work.
Liberty justice
Comment from Cheryl1957
This is just lovely. It actually brought a smile to my face. I absolutely love autumn and this poem just screams autumn. I love the idea of an "autumn leaf parade".
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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This is just lovely. It actually brought a smile to my face. I absolutely love autumn and this poem just screams autumn. I love the idea of an "autumn leaf parade".
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Hi Cheryl1957. Fall is my favorite time of year as well. Cooler temps and colorful trees. What?s not to like? Thank you for your really lovely review. I became your fan so I will see your future work
Comment from Air Spirit
I love your 5-7-5 poem... short, sweet, and simple in form, yet lovely and lasting in thought and message.... Autum/Fall is my favorite season... all of the different colors of leaves makes my eyes happy and my mind sing... it makes my heart smile... I love the visual imagery of Mother Nature having a 'leaf parade.'! I love it! Because as the trees dance in the wind, and the branches sway and beckon back and forth, to and fro, it fills my heart with the same joy and moving spirit... the rich colors of Autumn, with reds, golds, yellows and fire-orange come alive as the leaves scurry along the streets in celebration and joy..
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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I love your 5-7-5 poem... short, sweet, and simple in form, yet lovely and lasting in thought and message.... Autum/Fall is my favorite season... all of the different colors of leaves makes my eyes happy and my mind sing... it makes my heart smile... I love the visual imagery of Mother Nature having a 'leaf parade.'! I love it! Because as the trees dance in the wind, and the branches sway and beckon back and forth, to and fro, it fills my heart with the same joy and moving spirit... the rich colors of Autumn, with reds, golds, yellows and fire-orange come alive as the leaves scurry along the streets in celebration and joy..
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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We really are kindred spirits, Cynthia. Fall is my favorite time of year as well. Thank you for your lovely review
Comment from A. Willow Bends
I think it is haiku. Deals with a beautiful form of nature. Lovely photo. Lovely words. You did a very commendable job with this short piece. Nothing to add in the way of advice to improve on this. It is beautiful and I wish the best of luck.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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I think it is haiku. Deals with a beautiful form of nature. Lovely photo. Lovely words. You did a very commendable job with this short piece. Nothing to add in the way of advice to improve on this. It is beautiful and I wish the best of luck.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you Wendy Aune for your really lovely review. I just love the Fall
Comment from Ulla
Hi Pam, it is close to be a haiku, very close indeed. A haiku is always written in lower case. It does'nt need to be in the 5-7-5 format. That's a misconception, but you've chosen to do that, and that's fine. Two lines have to be grammatically interconnected and yours are. The first or the third line will be the satori line: the aha moment - Oh, so this is what it's about. Your third line is a fine satori line. And finally the correct title would be: haiku(red, orange, green, gold). So you're almost there. I loved you great poem with wonderful imagery. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Hi Pam, it is close to be a haiku, very close indeed. A haiku is always written in lower case. It does'nt need to be in the 5-7-5 format. That's a misconception, but you've chosen to do that, and that's fine. Two lines have to be grammatically interconnected and yours are. The first or the third line will be the satori line: the aha moment - Oh, so this is what it's about. Your third line is a fine satori line. And finally the correct title would be: haiku(red, orange, green, gold). So you're almost there. I loved you great poem with wonderful imagery. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you Ulla for your commentary and really lovely review
Comment from Hugh McDowell
Pam, love the color your poem paints mentally. Autumn such a gorgeous season. I also like the connotation of the word float and parade. Adds an additional layer to the poem. Hugh
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Pam, love the color your poem paints mentally. Autumn such a gorgeous season. I also like the connotation of the word float and parade. Adds an additional layer to the poem. Hugh
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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You got it Hugh! Most people don?t notice the double entendre of float. Thank you for your really lovely review
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Pam, Yes, I agree with you. This is a haiku with lines one an two interconnecting as required and your third line is a good haiku. Well written and displayed. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Hi Pam, Yes, I agree with you. This is a haiku with lines one an two interconnecting as required and your third line is a good haiku. Well written and displayed. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you Dorothy for your really nice review
