FAMILY TIES.
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Bong Bong Ding Dong.""ALL IN THE FAMILY."
4 total reviews
Comment from Liberty Justice
I just gave you my thumbs up and I hope you win. Your poem is such a fun item for children to read. The slide looks like so much fun and might be good at recess. Good luck. Check out mine, also. liberty justice
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I just gave you my thumbs up and I hope you win. Your poem is such a fun item for children to read. The slide looks like so much fun and might be good at recess. Good luck. Check out mine, also. liberty justice
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
Comment from LoannaLois
Oh how funny and surprising. It just made the poem! Who would have thought of such a funny ending...? I loved your whole idea you came up with from the beginning.
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Oh how funny and surprising. It just made the poem! Who would have thought of such a funny ending...? I loved your whole idea you came up with from the beginning.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2018
Comment from Uma Prosad Das
A good theme and a good tale
Childen's attention to the dismissal bell
As they wait eagerly for their over
Their eyes look at the bell tower
All children drew the same thing
Awaiting the bell tower's dismissal ring
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A good theme and a good tale
Childen's attention to the dismissal bell
As they wait eagerly for their over
Their eyes look at the bell tower
All children drew the same thing
Awaiting the bell tower's dismissal ring
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
(It MUST be Rhonnie - am I right? This contest is right up your street if it is...if you are not Rhonnie, then my thinking that you are is a compliment!)
A very good piece of dialogue driven poetry from children and OF children - behaviour any child would relate to (every child would relate to I suspect). It I would suggest anything, it'd be to remove the word 'bell' from the last line and preserve the rhythm you have built up to that point. As it is the 'bell tower' being refereed to on the preceding line, removing the word should not alter the meaning - this is just a suggestion, I mean no disrespect to your original which is very good.
I wish you well with this and with your further writing.
cheers
phill
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Hello Anon
(It MUST be Rhonnie - am I right? This contest is right up your street if it is...if you are not Rhonnie, then my thinking that you are is a compliment!)
A very good piece of dialogue driven poetry from children and OF children - behaviour any child would relate to (every child would relate to I suspect). It I would suggest anything, it'd be to remove the word 'bell' from the last line and preserve the rhythm you have built up to that point. As it is the 'bell tower' being refereed to on the preceding line, removing the word should not alter the meaning - this is just a suggestion, I mean no disrespect to your original which is very good.
I wish you well with this and with your further writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
