Reviews from

Deadly Confession

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Wrong Target "
Family secrets can be your worst nightmare.

7 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Hello Mistydwan
I like the way you described the interrogation between Joe who in investigate Greco it remind me Danny in Blue Bloods who is to aggressive to me. And now about Emma, Rachel's cousin to me she should be really concerned about Rachel of the danger she is in, after (Emma) got catted by
Luigi, Greco's twin brother, for some reason I had the feeling that (Luigi) is in Italy?
Gert

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your great review. You're the second one who's said that about Blue Bloods, lol. Which I think is quite a compliment, since it's such a great show. I was actually trying to do a mix of him and Sergeant Voit on Chicago PD but I'll gladly take Blue Bloods. Can you tell I watch a lot of crime shows? I like Law and order too. I've watched it and all of its spin-offs since it first began in the 90's.
    Luigi and Tito are twins. Tito is in Italy. Bruno Greco is the man who takes care of them. He was thought to be their biological dad until recently.
    Well, you're caught up, at least for another twenty minutes, lol No rush, it'll be there when you're ready. That's if you want to read it. You may be bored with the story by now.
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It always means so much to me, take care.
reply by Gert sherwood on 09-Sep-2018
    Smiles Mistydawn and you are welcome
    Of course I want to read more soon as say TY to FS folks that have reviewed my posting.
    Gert
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
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Great crime fiction, I especially enjoyed the interrogation scene. The story does take a lot of turns to follow within one chapter. The cast of characters at the end was especially helpful.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your gracious review. I am so glad you enjoyed it. Believe it or not, the chapter coming up takes place in one area. It's the fallout from the shooting attempted abduction.
    Thank you again for your kind review, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Misty, oh, you've left us on a cliff hanger haven't you just? I love it. A very well written chapter. It's well paced and the dialogue comes across very naturally. I can't wait to see what's happening next. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2018
    Thank you so much for your kind review I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. Luigi is determined to stop Rachel and the cops the Greco's for good.
    Thank you again for your great review, all your help and support. It means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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A mystery for the detectives as to why the DNA matches someone out of the country. Rachel is ordered to recover or else. =} Another good chapter, looking forward to the next. Rox

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your wonderful review. The family has to be firm with Rachel and then keep on top of her, otherwise, she won't listen.
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from WildWithWords
Excellent
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A nicely written piece of work overall with no visible editing problems I could see, and tension and interest throughout.

I got almost to the very end before spotting anything at all that made me question the writer's words. Then I read this....

"Using his free hand, the gunman pulls a weapon from his pocket and shoots".

Now I have a very logical mind, and though I may be wrong, it just seems to me that calling a man "the gunman" moments BEFORE he first produces a gun (UNLESS he has appeared earlier in the story with gun in hand) doesn't quite sound right.

To my way of thinking, he's a man... who then pulls a gun.... and from that point on can be seen as "a gunman". See what I mean? It's a tiny point, however it grated with me during what had been a very "smooth read' to that point. Other readers may just feel the same way.

Just a thought to ponder. Good luck with your writing.

Bill (WildWithWords)




 Comment Written 06-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2018
    Thank you so much for your kind review and your food for thought. I see what you mean, it's like putting the cart before the horse. I changed the first gunman to Luigi left the second (after the gun-slinging) alone. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
    Thank you again for your wonderful review and for your help, take care.
reply by WildWithWords on 06-Sep-2018
    Glad I could help. Thanks for taking it the right way....so many people get offended when I try to help them improve their work. Every little bit is one step closer to the perfection we seek is how I see it.

    Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I wonder who the gunman is? Is it Luigi, or someone else, perhaps? Emma can certainly look after herself these guys are certainly determined to get at Rachel, being fussed over by close lord ones, So, Tito's in Italy, they've got Greco. They haven't figured it's Luigi yet. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your kind review. Luigi is the one who went after Emma, he's determined to get rid of Rachel once and for all. Emma did well defending herself. Sometimes Rachel is too stubborn hardheaded for her own good.
    Thank you again for your superb review all your help, support, and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
reply by royowen on 05-Sep-2018
    Most. wWelcome
Comment from KyColonel Randal
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Thank you for sharing. This is an interesting story and well-written. My honest critical thought when reading it was wondering if the interrogation scene is a bit too cliche. Joe is really losing his temper because someone committed a murder in his town? I was thinking of watching Blue Bloods (if you've seen it) and how Danny Reagan is always losing his temper in the interrogation room exactly like this. He is usually mad about something specific, young victim reminds him of his kid, his wife (in the earlier episodes), hurt his partner, etc., not just angry that they committed the crime. Even then, I've thought the interrogation scenes in that show were a bit cliche, but I guess there is only so much you can change up in a police procedural.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2018
    Thank you so much for your kind review. I'm glad that you found it interesting. I guess it is a bit cliche, but not exactly sure how I could change it. Since I wanted to show how upset Joe is for not only killing people in his town but for not being able to stop him, allowing Greco's crime spree to get this far. Previous chapters talk about Greco's arrests and how he managed to escape all charges. So Joe wants this guy's head on a platter so to speak. Knowing that Blue Bloods came to mind when you read this, really tickles me. It means I'm almost as good as the big wig Hollywood writers.
    Thank you again for your kind review, take care. PS you made my week, thank you.