Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Jimmy got what he deserved. This story kept my attention even though it was all narrative and no dialogue. Your descriptions of the many kinds of women he lusted after are the best paragraphs.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018

Thanks so much for the five star review and for the validation of the story estory

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

I do like a story about some jerk getting his comeuppance, lol. He picked the wrong girl to get serious about, passing up some nice girls along the way. Yes, a modern fable, and one for the ages as well.
Carol

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting comments supporting the story. The sad thing is this guy is so much a product of the current social climate; a society that revolves around the self, and looks to superficial gratification instead of substantive content in a relationship. Don't forget the girl at the end is the same kind of person as he is. estory

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Ah, yes, a tale as old as time itself. lol Surface attractions do not make for healthy or meaningful relationships.

faithful families for willowy blonds or leggy brunettes - generally speaking blondes for females, blonds for male.

the swell of those chests in those low cut blouses - maybe her chest or those breasts here.

"She's such a nice girl," his mother insisted, "Why don't you give her a chance?" - technically the why should be lower case as it's continuing dialogue where the previous isn't closed off.

but another shapely blond, Christine Ericson - blonde?

, and then, his querries for sex - queries.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks so much for the five star review and your comments and suggestions. Will tighten it up some more at some point. estory

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Shallowness should be fined shouldn't it?
Of course if he had married her it would have ended up in divorce
Well penned ...I worked with people like this...I was Mom... made me so mad at their poor choices
God bless

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks so much for your excellent review and your wonderful comments about the story and your perspective on it. We all know people like this...these people are a product of our time, our self serving society. Today, it's all about superficial gratification, not substantive relationships. So in a way, the two at the end deserved each other. Probably a good thing Jennifer avoided this guy....estory

Comment from Ann Marie Anglin

Excellent

This was an interesting read; it flowed smoothly and although I saw it coming, I still felt badly for our protagonist when he got his comeuppance, although it was his own shallowness bit him on the ass in the end. Those "bad girls" will get you every time. Nicely told.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks for the excellent review of this modern fable. I am glad that the story conveyed this sense of what our society today produces; people interested in self gratification, not substantive relationships. And that these two deserved each other, and gave each other what they had to give. estory

Comment from Ryan Stewart

Excellent

This story takes lying to a whole new level. Saying your mom has cancer just to get away from someone and screw around. Women can be so hard to read, but it was so obvious that she was cheating. Great story!

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the story. Parts of this story came from my experience on online dating services...you get those people who want you to send money to them in Africa or South America for their dying mom, and then when they get back to the states, they will date you. We all know people like this today; self interested people who are out for gratification, not substantive family relationships. estory

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Nice guys finish last and fast girls leave you hanging. Just lucky the lesson was learned before you got in to deep. She could have ended up having an abortion or something that seedy.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018

Thanks for the excellent review of this modern fable and your interesting comments on it. I don't know if this guy is a nice guy; he is only interested in women for sex. So in a way, he gets what he deserved...a woman who is also only interested in sex. What you sow, you reap, is the motto here. I appreciate the support estory