Baker's Dozen
Viewing comments for Prologue "Baker's Dozen"Ben Baker has to hunt down and kill twelve people
30 total reviews
Comment from Nanny 6
I think I'm reading your story backwards LOL. This was really interesting to me. I think I may have to go back and start your book from the beginning, very interesting genre that's for sure, and I like the names you've given the characters... catchy.
Judy
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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I think I'm reading your story backwards LOL. This was really interesting to me. I think I may have to go back and start your book from the beginning, very interesting genre that's for sure, and I like the names you've given the characters... catchy.
Judy
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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You just read the first chapter. There's no stopping you now.
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Awesome, I'm putting you on my fan list!
Comment from Sally Law
Excellent Bill. You set up your story very well and it gives me an understanding of the background here. It really is a fight for survival. Your experience as a marine shines through here with your knowledge of weaponry and hand-to-hand combat. Ben sounds like your alter ego. I just had to say that.
I am trying to hang in here for the whole story being the Jane Austen and Victor Hugo fan that I am.
All the best, Sally
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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Excellent Bill. You set up your story very well and it gives me an understanding of the background here. It really is a fight for survival. Your experience as a marine shines through here with your knowledge of weaponry and hand-to-hand combat. Ben sounds like your alter ego. I just had to say that.
I am trying to hang in here for the whole story being the Jane Austen and Victor Hugo fan that I am.
All the best, Sally
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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I can throw in a quasi- Quasimodo or a make-believe Mr. Darcy to lighten up the story.
Comment from Earl Corp
I'll bet all Hell is going to bust loose when these guys all converge on the base camp. This is turning into Hunger Games meets the Most Dangerous Game real quick. I'll bet Baker wouldn't question if he'd really been shot if he'd been in yesterday's chapter. Excellent work, keep'em coming
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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I'll bet all Hell is going to bust loose when these guys all converge on the base camp. This is turning into Hunger Games meets the Most Dangerous Game real quick. I'll bet Baker wouldn't question if he'd really been shot if he'd been in yesterday's chapter. Excellent work, keep'em coming
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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Thanks, Earl. I will try to get all the players on the field.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Baker's Dozen" was well-written rich is Theme and Imagery.
It read Well and Flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were both excellent and exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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"Baker's Dozen" was well-written rich is Theme and Imagery.
It read Well and Flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were both excellent and exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 20-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
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Thanks, Ricky.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Wow!
Adrenaline junkies look out.
A great introductory prologue which has high energy and pulse pumping promise.
The story has caught my curiosity already though with trepidation.
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Wow!
Adrenaline junkies look out.
A great introductory prologue which has high energy and pulse pumping promise.
The story has caught my curiosity already though with trepidation.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Hi, Shirley. Thanks for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from brenda faye curtis
Definitely an exciting story, and I'm guessing this is the first chapter in Baker's Dozen. My first impression was that it's reality TV taken to its furthest extreme, as those who sent him on this quest would surely be keeping an eye on him. Is that why he's naked, for the audience?
Despite the questions I have (which may be answered in later chapters), I liked this story.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Definitely an exciting story, and I'm guessing this is the first chapter in Baker's Dozen. My first impression was that it's reality TV taken to its furthest extreme, as those who sent him on this quest would surely be keeping an eye on him. Is that why he's naked, for the audience?
Despite the questions I have (which may be answered in later chapters), I liked this story.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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The challenge is a real life or death one which was condoned by the President to punish traitors (to the Presidency). Naked is a way to increase the suffering.
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I understand. I look forward to later chapters.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Bill, this a heck of start to your new story. It's full of suspense and imagery leaving us to wonder what this is all about.
or to accept this challenge. No defense lawyers or juries were to be bothered with. = or to accept this challenge, no defense lawyer or jury would be bothered with.
Shivering as he stood back up, = Shivering as he stood. 'back up' not needed
Ben realized that each person had= Ben realized each person had 'that' not needed.
I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Wow, Bill, this a heck of start to your new story. It's full of suspense and imagery leaving us to wonder what this is all about.
or to accept this challenge. No defense lawyers or juries were to be bothered with. = or to accept this challenge, no defense lawyer or jury would be bothered with.
Shivering as he stood back up, = Shivering as he stood. 'back up' not needed
Ben realized that each person had= Ben realized each person had 'that' not needed.
I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Ulla, for giving this a look and for the help.
Comment from giraffmang
hi Bill,
nice setting up of the story here. very economical, straight to the point and a nice introduction to character and backstory.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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hi Bill,
nice setting up of the story here. very economical, straight to the point and a nice introduction to character and backstory.
All the best
G
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks, G.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Only a guy would write this. LOL! Fighting to the death isn't my cup of tea, but I'll take a look. Wasn't there a TV show something like this about ten years ago? I didn't watch it, but it had men trying to kill or be killed.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Only a guy would write this. LOL! Fighting to the death isn't my cup of tea, but I'll take a look. Wasn't there a TV show something like this about ten years ago? I didn't watch it, but it had men trying to kill or be killed.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Fighting to the death is what men do naturally.
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I know. It's your job. :)
Comment from Cass Carlton
Well, this is real blud'n guts stuff innit? Why is he in this terrible situation? I need to read previous chapters to see how this happened.It is a living nightmare he is in. Naked, friendless, and in fear of his life, needing to kill or be killed.Wow! that is really sticking your hero up a tree and throwing rocks at him! Which is what one of my writing instructors told us to do (metaphorically) to make sure the hero/heroine has a real success at the end of the story. Well off he goes. I hope he finds his way and somehow wins through. If there is a clothesline somewhere along the way, so much the better. The poor Bu**er! cheers Cass
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2018
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Well, this is real blud'n guts stuff innit? Why is he in this terrible situation? I need to read previous chapters to see how this happened.It is a living nightmare he is in. Naked, friendless, and in fear of his life, needing to kill or be killed.Wow! that is really sticking your hero up a tree and throwing rocks at him! Which is what one of my writing instructors told us to do (metaphorically) to make sure the hero/heroine has a real success at the end of the story. Well off he goes. I hope he finds his way and somehow wins through. If there is a clothesline somewhere along the way, so much the better. The poor Bu**er! cheers Cass
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Cass, for the enthusiasm. This IS the prologue.
