What we are given
We do the best we can.18 total reviews
Comment from Natalie Wilson
It is rare for me to read something that draws as much emotion out of me as this did. I have experience with someone in my life who I am very close to that has a mental disorder as well. Not so much suicidal, but immense anger and frustrations over things that her mind has come up with. So I understand to an extent how you feel. I will never give up on her. I will never leave her side. I love her because she is family. Even when others think I am wasting my time, I do not feel that way. My heart won't let me. When she's good, she's great. But when she's bad, she's REALLY bad. It's an odd thing to explain to anyone who doesn't have experience. You learn that her faults are her disease, not her as a person. And you accept them as so. This is an inspiring and touching heart felt piece. I'll be praying for you!
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It is rare for me to read something that draws as much emotion out of me as this did. I have experience with someone in my life who I am very close to that has a mental disorder as well. Not so much suicidal, but immense anger and frustrations over things that her mind has come up with. So I understand to an extent how you feel. I will never give up on her. I will never leave her side. I love her because she is family. Even when others think I am wasting my time, I do not feel that way. My heart won't let me. When she's good, she's great. But when she's bad, she's REALLY bad. It's an odd thing to explain to anyone who doesn't have experience. You learn that her faults are her disease, not her as a person. And you accept them as so. This is an inspiring and touching heart felt piece. I'll be praying for you!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2018
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow. This is really intense. Hard to believe that addict, would-be murderer, was allowed to roam free to threatened you. They did lock him up, but not soon enough.
Sounds like things have improved, at least for a while. I guess you have to be thankful for the good days. God bless you all. Take care. :)
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Wow. This is really intense. Hard to believe that addict, would-be murderer, was allowed to roam free to threatened you. They did lock him up, but not soon enough.
Sounds like things have improved, at least for a while. I guess you have to be thankful for the good days. God bless you all. Take care. :)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
Comment from mermaids
I can relate to your story, there is a long line of mental illness in my family and it affects everyone in the family, like your story describes. Your writing is excellent and your story flows smoothly. You held my interest and I wish you well in this contest.
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I can relate to your story, there is a long line of mental illness in my family and it affects everyone in the family, like your story describes. Your writing is excellent and your story flows smoothly. You held my interest and I wish you well in this contest.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
Comment from kahpot
This is a very sad, emotional, and yet very uplifting story and read. ( in your third paragraph you have the word years twice in a row) maybe a typo, I got very caught up in this excellent work very well done and I am glad to hear your family is back and on the upward road****kahpot
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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This is a very sad, emotional, and yet very uplifting story and read. ( in your third paragraph you have the word years twice in a row) maybe a typo, I got very caught up in this excellent work very well done and I am glad to hear your family is back and on the upward road****kahpot
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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I just left the page to edit. And my words to you were erased. But I want you to know how much your words meant to me. Few can understand.
Blessings, lo
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
I think when you 'cut and paste' your story into the FS editor, your paragraphs got messed up. The order doesn't seem to be right when I read through the story.
OR, the organization of your piece is a bit off-kilter. I suggest you do a close read through of this piece and reorganize the paragraphs to make a cohesive story,
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Hi there,
I think when you 'cut and paste' your story into the FS editor, your paragraphs got messed up. The order doesn't seem to be right when I read through the story.
OR, the organization of your piece is a bit off-kilter. I suggest you do a close read through of this piece and reorganize the paragraphs to make a cohesive story,
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Hi Patty, thanks so much for reading this and I appreciate your suggestions.
The time sequence was repeated at the end but I realize it was hard to recognize what I was doing. Blessingslo
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Wow. I wish I had a six-stars to share with you. This is a very sad, but well-written story. Mental illness is so hard for families. You did a beautiful job describing the pain, hurt, and torn pathways it creates for all involved. I am so thankful you see better days ahead, and your family has come back together. God bless each of you.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Wow. I wish I had a six-stars to share with you. This is a very sad, but well-written story. Mental illness is so hard for families. You did a beautiful job describing the pain, hurt, and torn pathways it creates for all involved. I am so thankful you see better days ahead, and your family has come back together. God bless each of you.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Bless you Cindy.I appreciated your comments so very much
Blessings Lo
Comment from apky
This is such an incredible story it left me breathless.
One thing is for certain: you are the most loving mother and strongest woman I've come across anywhere in my life. I'm glad I "know" you now, because I'm really touched and that is an emotion that one should cherish.
This ending was terrific:
>>She cannot stay long today. She was a big help. She taped movies for me, folded laundry, and we went to get hair cuts. She is my daughter. She still has an illness. She still needs help. I will help her. I will love her.<<
My daughter was born forty-six years (delete-years) ago needing a lot of special attention and help
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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This is such an incredible story it left me breathless.
One thing is for certain: you are the most loving mother and strongest woman I've come across anywhere in my life. I'm glad I "know" you now, because I'm really touched and that is an emotion that one should cherish.
This ending was terrific:
>>She cannot stay long today. She was a big help. She taped movies for me, folded laundry, and we went to get hair cuts. She is my daughter. She still has an illness. She still needs help. I will help her. I will love her.<<
My daughter was born forty-six years (delete-years) ago needing a lot of special attention and help
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Bless you and your words that truly lifted me today.
Blessings, Lo
Comment from Halfree
You have a story worth telling. I read this story twice and skimmed through it several times. The story is fragmented and does not flow well.
For example.....She called me from prison...a very important event that just pops up.
I suggest that you try an old fashioned way or arranging a sequence of events, cut and paste. Print a couple of pages, cut them into paragraphs and rearrange. I knew a famous author who did this back when computers were not, just were not around. Oh, that author wrote one great book, made a bucket of money.
Yours is a good story, needs rearranging to help the flow. You have a story that might well be a book. Keep at it,
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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You have a story worth telling. I read this story twice and skimmed through it several times. The story is fragmented and does not flow well.
For example.....She called me from prison...a very important event that just pops up.
I suggest that you try an old fashioned way or arranging a sequence of events, cut and paste. Print a couple of pages, cut them into paragraphs and rearrange. I knew a famous author who did this back when computers were not, just were not around. Oh, that author wrote one great book, made a bucket of money.
Yours is a good story, needs rearranging to help the flow. You have a story that might well be a book. Keep at it,
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your suggestions very much.
I was writing in sequences and it was harder to understand. Blessings,Lo
Comment from mally mack
It sounds like your daughter has had a challenging life. Unfortunately a lot of children grow up facing many things that adults wouldn't be strong enough to face. It is even worse when it spills into their adulthood. Seeking acceptance and love in the wrong places can be so harmful to ourselves and loved ones.
I did have a difficult time read this piece as the flow is slightly choppy. I like the idea of different perspectives but there is a lot going on here and not very much transition. Perhaps reorganizing some of the breaks and making a couple lengthier paragraphs may help it become slightly more fluid.
Good Job
Best wishes!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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It sounds like your daughter has had a challenging life. Unfortunately a lot of children grow up facing many things that adults wouldn't be strong enough to face. It is even worse when it spills into their adulthood. Seeking acceptance and love in the wrong places can be so harmful to ourselves and loved ones.
I did have a difficult time read this piece as the flow is slightly choppy. I like the idea of different perspectives but there is a lot going on here and not very much transition. Perhaps reorganizing some of the breaks and making a couple lengthier paragraphs may help it become slightly more fluid.
Good Job
Best wishes!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments and suggestions. Blessings, Lo
Comment from Sally Law
What an emotional story! I takes a lot of courage to write something so honest and transparent. Thank you. My only critique is sentence structure. It felt like it was cut short too many times, especially in a row. Don't be afraid to use the semi-colon.
I am so glad things have improved for you and your daughter. Making peach pies together sounds grand. Bless God!
All my best,
Sally
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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What an emotional story! I takes a lot of courage to write something so honest and transparent. Thank you. My only critique is sentence structure. It felt like it was cut short too many times, especially in a row. Don't be afraid to use the semi-colon.
I am so glad things have improved for you and your daughter. Making peach pies together sounds grand. Bless God!
All my best,
Sally
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Hi Sally, thank you for your suggestions. Blessings, Lo
