Raisin' Marty (A Novella) Part Two
Marty Runs Away From Home9 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Marty has the right idea. His mother's expectations of something coming from this new romance with Tyler. He's already married in addition to probably being married to his job. A bad move on Marty's part to leave home. Leaving the letter from the advice column was a good idea. The writer's situation does sound like what Virginia's gotten herself into. Tyler is very smooth, but he will probably be more dedicated to his work than Virginia. You set the scene very well for Marty running away. I wonder if you need all those details about getting into the car?
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Marty has the right idea. His mother's expectations of something coming from this new romance with Tyler. He's already married in addition to probably being married to his job. A bad move on Marty's part to leave home. Leaving the letter from the advice column was a good idea. The writer's situation does sound like what Virginia's gotten herself into. Tyler is very smooth, but he will probably be more dedicated to his work than Virginia. You set the scene very well for Marty running away. I wonder if you need all those details about getting into the car?
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thanks for the insightful review.
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You're welcome. You have an interesting set-up. Maybe Mom's eyes will be opened after her son runs away. judi
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, Bret, you added more intrigue to your novella. I enjoyed reading it. I find nothing to suggest change. The newspaper clipping left for mom was a great idea. I was engaged from start to finish & eagerly wait the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Well, Bret, you added more intrigue to your novella. I enjoyed reading it. I find nothing to suggest change. The newspaper clipping left for mom was a great idea. I was engaged from start to finish & eagerly wait the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the novella. Part three should be out soon. Be watching.
Comment from LynnetteOK
This story continues to intrigue me and I'm looking forward excitedly to reading part three. Please keep up the good work. I really enjoy reading it.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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This story continues to intrigue me and I'm looking forward excitedly to reading part three. Please keep up the good work. I really enjoy reading it.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, so Marty doesn't like what is going on and he doesn't seem to be able keep his family together, so he runs away to make a point and hopefully force the issue. He also leaves behind and article in the hope that it keep change his mother from seeing somebody else. Never a good situation, but neither is it to keep two people together for the sake of their mutual child. It never works. But, of course, he can't see that, not yet, at least. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Hi Brett, so Marty doesn't like what is going on and he doesn't seem to be able keep his family together, so he runs away to make a point and hopefully force the issue. He also leaves behind and article in the hope that it keep change his mother from seeing somebody else. Never a good situation, but neither is it to keep two people together for the sake of their mutual child. It never works. But, of course, he can't see that, not yet, at least. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the Novella. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh no, Marty's run away. Silly boy. Very well done, I saw no error and have no suggestions for improvements so I'm not help. Thought is was fine as it. Rox
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Oh no, Marty's run away. Silly boy. Very well done, I saw no error and have no suggestions for improvements so I'm not help. Thought is was fine as it. Rox
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate the review and the support.
Comment from robyn corum
Brett,
A new story? I thought you were in the middle of another novel? Anyway, this was intriguing to say the least. Sounds like this young boy has more going on upstairs than his poor mom -- looking for love. So sad!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) That's what needs to happen.(")
2.) He stood a towering six axe handles tall and was lankier
--> I think an axe handle is 18 inches - this would make him nine feet tall.
3.) not (contented) with their vile deeds,
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Brett,
A new story? I thought you were in the middle of another novel? Anyway, this was intriguing to say the least. Sounds like this young boy has more going on upstairs than his poor mom -- looking for love. So sad!
Some notes, if I may?
1.) That's what needs to happen.(")
2.) He stood a towering six axe handles tall and was lankier
--> I think an axe handle is 18 inches - this would make him nine feet tall.
3.) not (contented) with their vile deeds,
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Still writing the other one too. Appreciate the catches on the nits and have corrected them.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Virginia has a problem. Marty has thrown down the gauntlet. He does not like the feeling he is being replaced. He doesn't want a stranger taking his fathers place in their life. Well maybe the detective Mcdowell can help her locate her son. Kids just don't understand how dangerous it is out in the world. Well done. Brett :) Nancy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Virginia has a problem. Marty has thrown down the gauntlet. He does not like the feeling he is being replaced. He doesn't want a stranger taking his fathers place in their life. Well maybe the detective Mcdowell can help her locate her son. Kids just don't understand how dangerous it is out in the world. Well done. Brett :) Nancy
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the novella. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
Comment from heart of Lou
You capture perfectly the emotions a son might have who doesn't want to see his mother throw her life away on someone who might not be as good as he seems. And you ended on a cliffhanger! I found one typo, 'contended' should be 'contented' . I hope you don't mind me pointing it out. Great story.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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You capture perfectly the emotions a son might have who doesn't want to see his mother throw her life away on someone who might not be as good as he seems. And you ended on a cliffhanger! I found one typo, 'contended' should be 'contented' . I hope you don't mind me pointing it out. Great story.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Appreciate the nit catch. Unlike some who take offense to such matters, I appreciate it when someone points errors out to me. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the novella.
Comment from Adri7enne
Good, understandable prose, written in good grammatical English. I like the characters. I think I'll enjoy reading the rest of this and probably more of your stories. Well done, Brett. Guess I'll sign on as your fan.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Good, understandable prose, written in good grammatical English. I like the characters. I think I'll enjoy reading the rest of this and probably more of your stories. Well done, Brett. Guess I'll sign on as your fan.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the novella. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
