The Arresting Hook
A villanelle about the coming battle16 total reviews
Comment from Jay J Pennington
I really like this poem inspired, I'm guessing, from Revelations. It is descriptive, and rhymes well. I feel like I just watched a scary movie, haha.
Jay
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
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I really like this poem inspired, I'm guessing, from Revelations. It is descriptive, and rhymes well. I feel like I just watched a scary movie, haha.
Jay
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
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Jay I was inspired by revelations and goaded by people who forget the Bible does want us to turn our cheeks, but there is also a just reason for war.
Comment from LIJ Red
An F4 pilot pushed his wingman from enemy territory by setting his canopy against the crippled jet's tailhook, in a lost war long ago...I don't recall Villanelle details, but the poem looks fine to me.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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An F4 pilot pushed his wingman from enemy territory by setting his canopy against the crippled jet's tailhook, in a lost war long ago...I don't recall Villanelle details, but the poem looks fine to me.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Thank you LIJ for the story of ingenuity in combat saving the wingman. About the Villanelle, I messed with some lines to make them more timely, didn't change the vision or rhyme pattern. Others, much greater poets than I, have done the same and won honors for their Villanelles. I thank you for taking the time to read my poem, your comments and rating.
Comment from Irish Rain
I love the Villanelle form. It always reads so prettily. Yes, if men would but heed the words of Jesus...to love everyone, what a different world we'd live in. A tragedy that some want blood and death more. I enjoyed this.
Blessings....
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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I love the Villanelle form. It always reads so prettily. Yes, if men would but heed the words of Jesus...to love everyone, what a different world we'd live in. A tragedy that some want blood and death more. I enjoyed this.
Blessings....
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Thank you Irish Rain for taking the time to read my poem. Your comments and rating are gratefully appreciated.
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You're most welcome!!
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Have a good week.
Comment from kaymart
Not bad. An enjoyable read. I'm a Christian and found this to be quite truthful.
I do wonder about a couple of places, though.
At first, you sound certain that Gabriel's trumpet shut the door. At first it's not clear WHAT door - but that's not the most important thing. Because then in the 5th stanza, the 3rd line, you begin with the word "Will" and so it's like you're asking if his horn will shut the door.
I'll not say I'm a great poet or anything. Not even close. But all-in-all this was pretty good. Full of truth.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Not bad. An enjoyable read. I'm a Christian and found this to be quite truthful.
I do wonder about a couple of places, though.
At first, you sound certain that Gabriel's trumpet shut the door. At first it's not clear WHAT door - but that's not the most important thing. Because then in the 5th stanza, the 3rd line, you begin with the word "Will" and so it's like you're asking if his horn will shut the door.
I'll not say I'm a great poet or anything. Not even close. But all-in-all this was pretty good. Full of truth.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments, rating and interesting question. In the first stanza, I wrote, "Gabriel's horn blast on Peace shut the door" In the fifth stanza, I am alluding to now - today, "Lucifer's disciples lie and like lions roar" and ask if Gabriel will blow his horn again. In the intro I write of the coming battle.
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Hmm. I think I understand it. Any lack of understanding is probably just on my part.
I really did enjoy it.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much for your comments.
Comment from Pantygynt
Villanelles can be really awkward things to write and many established poets interpolate slight changes in the repeated lines, though this practice tends not to be accepted by FanStory judges. However, this is not a villanelle contest so they should let this through as the requirement is for 'a rhyming poem', that is to say one with a rhyme scheme. This follows the stated scheme and is in my opinion also a good example of the villanelle form. As you point out, the alterations to the repeated lines merely place them in an appropriate time bracket, and do not materially alter their meaning.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Villanelles can be really awkward things to write and many established poets interpolate slight changes in the repeated lines, though this practice tends not to be accepted by FanStory judges. However, this is not a villanelle contest so they should let this through as the requirement is for 'a rhyming poem', that is to say one with a rhyme scheme. This follows the stated scheme and is in my opinion also a good example of the villanelle form. As you point out, the alterations to the repeated lines merely place them in an appropriate time bracket, and do not materially alter their meaning.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Thank you Pantygynt for your comprehending comments. When I first penned this verse, it followed the strict format, some of my words were more pointed and bitter. I slept on it for a few nights then softened the words and aligned the tenses. I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem and your rating.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Henry, a very well written and interesting Villanelle. Written true to form it makes an interesting read and while knowledge of the bible adds to the understanding of your words, the work nevertheless stands alone as a good Villanelle. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Hi Henry, a very well written and interesting Villanelle. Written true to form it makes an interesting read and while knowledge of the bible adds to the understanding of your words, the work nevertheless stands alone as a good Villanelle. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Hello Dorothy, thank you very much for taking the time to read this piece. Your comments and rating are appreciated very much.
Comment from Hitcher
A biblical offering with the archangels Michael and Gabriel playing specific roles, both sanctioned by God... war and peace : ) The walls did come down and Israel got the home it was promised. Alas man has always sought out reasons to go to war. I enjoyed your poem friend, good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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A biblical offering with the archangels Michael and Gabriel playing specific roles, both sanctioned by God... war and peace : ) The walls did come down and Israel got the home it was promised. Alas man has always sought out reasons to go to war. I enjoyed your poem friend, good luck!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Thank you Hitcher for reading and reviewing. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sugarray77
Wow! You are talent and clever to write this complicated and very descriptive verse. Your subject supports the strong cadence set by the style of this poem. You definitely delivered on this one. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
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Wow! You are talent and clever to write this complicated and very descriptive verse. Your subject supports the strong cadence set by the style of this poem. You definitely delivered on this one. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments and rating. I appreciate that you took the time. I sat on this thing for a month. It took me that long to quiet my strong feelings and dampen my words over the political environment.
Comment from meeshu
this is really a great work, Henry. I love the Villanelle poetry form and yours is excellent. the changes in the repeat lines is a plus in my book.........meeshu
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
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this is really a great work, Henry. I love the Villanelle poetry form and yours is excellent. the changes in the repeat lines is a plus in my book.........meeshu
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for your encouraging comments and wonderful rating meeshu.
Comment from Bill Schott
This villanelle, The Arresting Hook, has the correct formatting and brings some Bible stories to fruition as the repeating lines, slightly modified, depict the battle to end all battles.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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This villanelle, The Arresting Hook, has the correct formatting and brings some Bible stories to fruition as the repeating lines, slightly modified, depict the battle to end all battles.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your comments and stars Bill.
