Comment from mally mack

Excellent

This is a very nice poem. Your detailed word choice and structure creates a beautiful picture for readers. I'm a big fan of imagery! Yours is wonderful. I noticed that this is a contest entry and although cement was one of the required words, you were able to fit it into your rhymes wonderfully.

Best Wishes

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Mack, Thanks for reading my poem and for your best wishes Your lovely comments are welcomed Cheers Christine

Comment from meeshu

Excellent

this is a meditative work, so soft and gentle in its language and feel. the perfect read for the end of a tough day.an unusual form that works..

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi meeshu, Thanks for your review for my poem I wrote this while sunbaking in Bali on the beach looking out at the horizon and blue sea. No luck in the contest but I enjoyed the meditation Cheers Christine

Comment from Shanbreen

Excellent

Well written poem. Even though there is no set rhyme, the occasional rhythmic words in stanzas 2 and 4 keep the flow of the poem. Best for the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Shanbreen, Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem for this contest, no luck in the rating but I enjoyed the challenge and appreciate your commentsCheers Christine

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

This is an excellent entry in the contest. According to my personal psychic advisor, who by the way, is the smartest chimp on earth, you will win and send me half the funny money. Thanks in advance.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Thomas, Thank ypu for your excellent review but unfortunately your psychic advisor was a little off prediction as it did not win or even place. never mind I enjoyed writing this and no funny money this time ( although it cost me a reasonable amount of real money LOL) Cheers Christine

Comment from JDRBAR

Excellent

This is beautifully done. Sometimes we forget that our world is filled with beauty but life is so hectic we fail to see it. We all need to take that moment to satiate our eyes with God's beauty.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi JDRBAR, Thank your for your lovely review and yes sometimes we need to just take in the beauty around us and this is my moment while laying on the beach gazing out at the ocean Cheers for your time Christinel

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written rhyming poem and great use of the prescribed words you have to use within your poem. When we have peace in our hearts we feel like we are at heaven's shore.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Sandra, Thanks for reading my words for this contest and it was so nice to just relax in the lovely Bali sun on the beach looking out to the sea and composing this poem Cheers Christine

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very beautifully written poem using the required words of the prompt. You used very good descriptive words that go very well with the art work. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Teri, Thanks for you for your lovely review and best wishes, No luck in the rating stakes but when I read this in the future it will remind me of my day on the beach in Bali relaxing and just appreciating the beautiful world Cheers Christine

Comment from LeftHandedScribe

Excellent

What a lovely piece of tranquility. The colors, script and your poetry weave a tapestry of calm and blissful peace. It reminds me of that weekend getaway so needed.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi Shauna, Thanks for a lovely review and that is exactly how I felt when I wrote thiscalm and blissful. I was in Bali last week when I wrote this and enjoyed the lovely warm sun and blue sea so relaxing and well needed Cheers Christine

Comment from RodG

Good

This poem gives us a VISUAL picture of the Speaker enjoying herself on the beach. I especially like the sharp image of these two lines: I gaze upon horizon's running line/ where sea and sky connect. Then you focus on audio imagery of gentle waves and breakers. I wish you had continued in that manner. Because you have to use certain words, some lines like this sound contrived: My memory bank forever will cement this beauty seen.


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018

Hi RodG Thank you for your review. I wanted to use the word cement in a different way to the usual reference to paths etc. and this just seemed to come up during this line but I appreciate your comments Cheers Christine

Comment from phill doran

Excellent

Hello Anon
A very 'refreshing' read this. Open, clear and uplifting with a lovely, descriptive narrative too. Perhaps the first line of the second stanza should be horizon's (with an apostrophe) similarly with the last line and heaven's. Just a thought.
All the contest words are there and I wish you well in this.
Cheers
phill

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018

Hi Phil, Thank you much and I have taken your advice and added the apostrophes in these words. Many Cheers for your lovely review and I send you Good Cheers. Anon