A Pretty Lady's Smile While Shopping
Grocery shopping will never be the same...2 total reviews
Comment from phill doran
Hello Reese
Very, very good. I can't say I am a fan of the Nonet, but a rhyming Nonet saves the day. Well done - simple direct writing - very enjoyable.
I empathize with the subject too - it has happened to me: for all I know I reminded her of her late Great Grandfather, but we read into the smile what we wish to, do we not? I all know is that I have dentistry older than her.
Still, it reminds me of when I had my hearing aid fitted. It gives instructions ("battery low", for example) in an optional male or female voice, available in various languages. The lady doing the fitting claimed a previous client asked for the voice to be a Swedish female: when she asked the gentleman in question if he understood Swedish he replied "no" but he would determine himself exactly what was being whispered in his ear each time he heard it.
I wish you well with this - as I say, a rhyming Nonet is a pleasant change and I hope it stands out in your contest.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
  |
Hello Reese
Very, very good. I can't say I am a fan of the Nonet, but a rhyming Nonet saves the day. Well done - simple direct writing - very enjoyable.
I empathize with the subject too - it has happened to me: for all I know I reminded her of her late Great Grandfather, but we read into the smile what we wish to, do we not? I all know is that I have dentistry older than her.
Still, it reminds me of when I had my hearing aid fitted. It gives instructions ("battery low", for example) in an optional male or female voice, available in various languages. The lady doing the fitting claimed a previous client asked for the voice to be a Swedish female: when she asked the gentleman in question if he understood Swedish he replied "no" but he would determine himself exactly what was being whispered in his ear each time he heard it.
I wish you well with this - as I say, a rhyming Nonet is a pleasant change and I hope it stands out in your contest.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
-
Thanks for a great note and a fun story! I am so old that the candles cost more than the cake, but I have never stopped enjoying a pretty girl, especially when she smiles! And the rhyme? Maybe it was the poetry I had to endure in English Lit that did not rhyme which made me a true fan of rhyme. I cannot write without it. Anyway, great to meet you and may your time be all in rhyme!
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
What a whimsical look at a brief moment passing with a stranger and wondering the details of her person. I think we all do this. You capture a specific feel and the meter is perfect.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
|
What a whimsical look at a brief moment passing with a stranger and wondering the details of her person. I think we all do this. You capture a specific feel and the meter is perfect.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
-
Hey, was that you I passed? Glad you could relate and enjoyed my offering. My favorite area is over in the wine aisle where I am always looking for something "sassy, but not obtrusive". Cheers!
