Peter Peter Where are you?
A 75 word flash fiction15 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
OH my dear, it was perfectly done. You had me going to the end and isn't that the way it always seems to happen in our lives, just seconds and things change forever
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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OH my dear, it was perfectly done. You had me going to the end and isn't that the way it always seems to happen in our lives, just seconds and things change forever
Comment Written 09-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Hi Barb, Thank you and yes my ending was only written at the wnd I never know how my work will turn out as ai never pre plan a story or poem they just happen. Cheers
Comment from Gloria ....
Aw, this is just so sad, Christine. But that said, you've got everything that is required in a 75 word flash fiction, and that is no easy feat, so great job!
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Aw, this is just so sad, Christine. But that said, you've got everything that is required in a 75 word flash fiction, and that is no easy feat, so great job!
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Gloria, I know but that is how my mind worked when I wrote this But Thanks for not turning it away due to content .These flash fictions are challenging but makes me work harder to get one to be worth reading Cheers
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! Such a tragedy. It sounds like the little boy drowned after a plane crash. Everyone's worst nightmare about flying.
"Mummy' Mummy." (probably, want a comma or exclamation mark instead of the apostrophe here.)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Oh no! Such a tragedy. It sounds like the little boy drowned after a plane crash. Everyone's worst nightmare about flying.
"Mummy' Mummy." (probably, want a comma or exclamation mark instead of the apostrophe here.)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Helen Yes corrected with a comma Thanks for reading. I know a tragedy butvthis how my writing flowed out I sometimes never know the ending of my work unti it is written Cheers
Comment from robyn corum
Oh, Christine,
This is harsh! I had no expectations of anything like that happening in the end of the story. I just knew, since it was a wee child, that he would find a way to safety.
One small note:
1.) "Mummy(,) Mummy."
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Oh, Christine,
This is harsh! I had no expectations of anything like that happening in the end of the story. I just knew, since it was a wee child, that he would find a way to safety.
One small note:
1.) "Mummy(,) Mummy."
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Robyn, Thanks for reading and yes a harsh ending but this is howcmy words flowed out, sorry. Have fixed the comma many Cheers for your read
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt seventy five word flash fiction. Poor Peter could not hold on long enough to be rescued. A family will be devastated and his small body may never be found.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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A very well-written heartfelt seventy five word flash fiction. Poor Peter could not hold on long enough to be rescued. A family will be devastated and his small body may never be found.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Sandra, Thanks for reading and yes a sad one this time and yes it would be a devastating outcome for anyone Cheers
Comment from Bill Schott
This short short story creates a disparate scene for what is framed as a young boy. The picture is a bit fuzzy as the water crashes against the rocks, presumably on a shoreline, after a plane crash. The calling voice, at the end, seems a bit out of place here, although understood as the ironic arrival of the mother after it's too late. A sad story in seventy- five words.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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This short short story creates a disparate scene for what is framed as a young boy. The picture is a bit fuzzy as the water crashes against the rocks, presumably on a shoreline, after a plane crash. The calling voice, at the end, seems a bit out of place here, although understood as the ironic arrival of the mother after it's too late. A sad story in seventy- five words.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Bill, Thanks for your comments and for reviewing this with another perpective I wanted The ending to have an impact as being too late to save Peter. Appreciate your words Cheers
Comment from aryr
Very well done Christine, sad but well done. You managed a whole story in only 75 words, amazing and so many emotions were involved. Oh before I forget, good luck in the contest. It had a great reading flow. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Very well done Christine, sad but well done. You managed a whole story in only 75 words, amazing and so many emotions were involved. Oh before I forget, good luck in the contest. It had a great reading flow. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Ary, Thank so much my loyal supporter I do so enjoy your reviews and I am sorry to create a sad stroy but this is how my mind worked with this fiction contest this time. Cheers
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You are most welcome Christine, now don't you worry about the sadness, life is real and not a bed of roses. So we learn to take the happy with the sad. (big smile)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a sad little story, Chrissy. You told it well for its length [as required]. The art selection is perfect for your well-chosen words. Best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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What a sad little story, Chrissy. You told it well for its length [as required]. The art selection is perfect for your well-chosen words. Best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Jan, Thanks for reading my sad story I never know how my work will turn out ever I never pre plan anything I write it just comes out Cheers
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
This is harrowing and gut wrenching and beautifully executed. Your use of the prompt, the language and impeccable storytelling come together with such grace.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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This is harrowing and gut wrenching and beautifully executed. Your use of the prompt, the language and impeccable storytelling come together with such grace.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Shauna, Thank you so very much for this wonderful review and six stars given to it . I never know how my work will turn out until the end so I am pleased that ypu thought is a worthy piece Many Cheers
Comment from misscookie
Wow!
This was rough as the sea for me to read this It toughed me deeply what read so early in the morning
The artwork you choose to go with your write is a perfect match
You captured my attention from the start.
thank you for shatig
Cookie
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Wow!
This was rough as the sea for me to read this It toughed me deeply what read so early in the morning
The artwork you choose to go with your write is a perfect match
You captured my attention from the start.
thank you for shatig
Cookie
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hi Cookie, thank for reading and revieing this sad story and I felt it needed to end this way unfortunately but hopefully it never happens Cheers
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Amen to that
You're very welcome have a nice day
Cookie
