Two Fan Story Members Talking
Tweed and Tweedle-dum6 total reviews
Comment from Marvin Calloway
The pros and cons of this issue could be debated for a long time and only lead to a stand-off, but you've made sure it was not overly long.
It's thoughtful and contains a good amount of humor.
Marv
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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The pros and cons of this issue could be debated for a long time and only lead to a stand-off, but you've made sure it was not overly long.
It's thoughtful and contains a good amount of humor.
Marv
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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MM,
I thought you and I were on the same team, politically. No?
I shouldn't have put the political stuff in, I guess.
will try to refrain.
thanks for reading and for your comments.
pl
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is super humorous. I have a guess as to who you are, mystery writer. I laughed aloud at so many of your lines--like the white lightnin. I laughed when you introduced it, then applauded when you closed with it. Great ending.
I will be following the contest to check out your win. This is so ingenious and funny. I love that you picked up on the contest "If I ruled the world." It made for a funny beginning. The first five lines are probably my favorite. They got my first laugh.
Your use of punctuation, particularly ellipses, is good and keeps your dialog understandable. I would, however, put a comma in the following line:
"Each state governs itself in a lot of ways, according to the particulars of that state and they don't want to be forced to do things by the Federal government that their state doesn't like or want to do."
It's a long sentence. I would put a comma after the second 'state.' Grammatically, you should, but, more importantly, you need it for readability.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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This is super humorous. I have a guess as to who you are, mystery writer. I laughed aloud at so many of your lines--like the white lightnin. I laughed when you introduced it, then applauded when you closed with it. Great ending.
I will be following the contest to check out your win. This is so ingenious and funny. I love that you picked up on the contest "If I ruled the world." It made for a funny beginning. The first five lines are probably my favorite. They got my first laugh.
Your use of punctuation, particularly ellipses, is good and keeps your dialog understandable. I would, however, put a comma in the following line:
"Each state governs itself in a lot of ways, according to the particulars of that state and they don't want to be forced to do things by the Federal government that their state doesn't like or want to do."
It's a long sentence. I would put a comma after the second 'state.' Grammatically, you should, but, more importantly, you need it for readability.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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Debbie, what fantastic review. You make me feel like a million dollars. I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for the comma suggestion. don't want to have no bad gramma. :)
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Well this Ms Gramma doesn't usually know what she is talking about,
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Since you said gramma, do you read the Cat Who books by Lillian Jackson Braun? There is a newspaper column called, Ask Ms. Gramma.
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The Cat Who books? books called Cat Who?
nope, will Google it/them.
and Ms. Gramma is referring to grammar?
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aha - should be fun.
hmmm, are you suggesting that I..... :)
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No, no, no. It is a funny column. Ms. Gramma's answers are usually delightfully wrong. Just thought that you might have read it. It is one of my favorite series.
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Goggle Lilian Jackson Braun. She wrote a number of books about a journalist and his cat. They are called The Cat Who books because all titles start with The Cat Who . . .I am getting way off topic here. It is a great series though. They have won a number of awards.
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will do. wrote it down, and thanks again!!!
pl
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good job. Especially the banana popsicles. If you gave all your citizens a supply for free, they would love you, even if you started a nuke war with North Korea... which could be easily avoided by sending Kim crates of banana popsicles. Now, where do I go to vote for you?
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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Good job. Especially the banana popsicles. If you gave all your citizens a supply for free, they would love you, even if you started a nuke war with North Korea... which could be easily avoided by sending Kim crates of banana popsicles. Now, where do I go to vote for you?
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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and do you know they are nowhere to be found in our grocery stores! every other flavor, but no banana.
thanks for your cute and clever review! How 'bout I send you some fudgecicles?
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Where is your store? What city are you in? They always have banana here. How tragic! I'll take the fudgy ones though... always a treat... and will send you banana. :)
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HEB in San An Antonio, dern it. and would you believe, except for Walmart, they are the ONLY grocery stores in this whole city. No more other chain stores. a true monopoly.
Comment from giraffmang
hi there,
it may be an idea to separate your speakers with a clear line between each different speaker. It gives a little more clarity to the write. Also, many folk skip over blocks of unbroken text.
I wonder if the author has injected some of their own personal ideology into this...lol
Good piece, funny but also right on the money.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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hi there,
it may be an idea to separate your speakers with a clear line between each different speaker. It gives a little more clarity to the write. Also, many folk skip over blocks of unbroken text.
I wonder if the author has injected some of their own personal ideology into this...lol
Good piece, funny but also right on the money.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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this is your old tech-less friend. I tried editing the original in Word, several times, to add a space between speakers and it wouldn't take - I don't know why. dumb! but thanks, may try again - there's always the possibility I'll get it right. :)
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It sometimes doesn't transfer from word and you have to do it manually on the site, which is a real pain.
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just did it that way. and it is, but thanks
Comment from simonbagh
To rule or not to rule some people do not need to rule or to be ruled accidentally nowadays the biggest problem of human is to face with those people that think they can rule the world and they would be much more better rulers so it would be much better to live it for the time and the experimental challenges that always are going on for ruling the world
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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To rule or not to rule some people do not need to rule or to be ruled accidentally nowadays the biggest problem of human is to face with those people that think they can rule the world and they would be much more better rulers so it would be much better to live it for the time and the experimental challenges that always are going on for ruling the world
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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I'm not sure I fully understand your meaning, but thank you for reading and for commenting.
Comment from kahpot
Actually, I thought it was very humorous I enjoyed the banter and the cutoffs during the conversation, which ultimately led us to where we are right now, a freezer full of bananas, an excellent read and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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Actually, I thought it was very humorous I enjoyed the banter and the cutoffs during the conversation, which ultimately led us to where we are right now, a freezer full of bananas, an excellent read and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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well thank you! I'm glad you did. and I appreciate your good wishes.
