New York...New York...
It's a Hell of a Town!56 total reviews
Comment from estory
Ah, my home town. I liked the way you did this in rhymed couplets, it kind of had a fragmented feel, but also nice musical and rhythmic effects, and I think that went a long way to capture the sense of the cacophony of the city that never sleeps. You picked all kinds of diverse images so that also helped to catch some of the city's great diversity. It pulls you all over the place. I have a poem that's more a free verse piece in my portfolio as a homage to New York. No place like it in the world. Once came home from Florida at midnight to bumper to bumper traffic on the Belt Parkway. estory
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
  |
Ah, my home town. I liked the way you did this in rhymed couplets, it kind of had a fragmented feel, but also nice musical and rhythmic effects, and I think that went a long way to capture the sense of the cacophony of the city that never sleeps. You picked all kinds of diverse images so that also helped to catch some of the city's great diversity. It pulls you all over the place. I have a poem that's more a free verse piece in my portfolio as a homage to New York. No place like it in the world. Once came home from Florida at midnight to bumper to bumper traffic on the Belt Parkway. estory
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
I was going for an electric shock, fragmented
Comment from Anne B Francis
You know I would be as daft as you go into action before the brain had time to think and more than likely shout at all the people in the street to help, at the same time wondering why they just stand still. Trouble is now I can't run anymore but honest just the kind of thing I would do, do we call it brave or stupid these days? or is it because people like us surely care. Typical city noise and more noise.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
You know I would be as daft as you go into action before the brain had time to think and more than likely shout at all the people in the street to help, at the same time wondering why they just stand still. Trouble is now I can't run anymore but honest just the kind of thing I would do, do we call it brave or stupid these days? or is it because people like us surely care. Typical city noise and more noise.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
I've done that very type of thing in some dangerous situations... this could have been one if I caught him and I'm so passionate that I take over the moment and big guys have obeyed me... I'm wired funny! Yours, Diana
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow - what a vivid picture you have painted here complete with soundtrack ... you don't even need that pic you've chosen to se e, hear, AND feel it! :) :) :) Great write!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest, ma'am! :) :) Yvette
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
Wow - what a vivid picture you have painted here complete with soundtrack ... you don't even need that pic you've chosen to se e, hear, AND feel it! :) :) :) Great write!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest, ma'am! :) :) Yvette
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Thanks so much Y.m... I was going for the full sensory experience. Thanks so much for recognizing that. Yours, diana
Comment from Mark Valentine
In a couple of weeks my wife and I will be dropping off our son in Manhattan to begin his college journey (NYU). We're from Chicago, so no stranger to city life, but New York is unique. From my few visits, it seems to me that your poem captures the noise, chaos, and unique social contract (or lack thereof) that is New York.
I like that your poem is divided into couplets - it mirrors the disconnected blasts of stimuli that come at you in places like Times Square.
The most striking feature, for me, is the number of "sound" words you use (Cacophony, ratting, tatting, jackhammer, honking, clacks, hisses, shouts, screams, blares, blabbering).that, when taken together, evoke the sense of auditory overload that one feels in Manhattan.
Obviously a lot of thought went into this one to ensure that it not only said what you wanted it to say, but that it created the right mood.
Very well done - wish I had a six!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
In a couple of weeks my wife and I will be dropping off our son in Manhattan to begin his college journey (NYU). We're from Chicago, so no stranger to city life, but New York is unique. From my few visits, it seems to me that your poem captures the noise, chaos, and unique social contract (or lack thereof) that is New York.
I like that your poem is divided into couplets - it mirrors the disconnected blasts of stimuli that come at you in places like Times Square.
The most striking feature, for me, is the number of "sound" words you use (Cacophony, ratting, tatting, jackhammer, honking, clacks, hisses, shouts, screams, blares, blabbering).that, when taken together, evoke the sense of auditory overload that one feels in Manhattan.
Obviously a lot of thought went into this one to ensure that it not only said what you wanted it to say, but that it created the right mood.
Very well done - wish I had a six!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Hey Mark... NYU... What a prestigious place to go to school... not mention exciting... I love social contract what an interesting picture that creates in my brain! How fun that you plucked out all of the noises for sound... I had no idea, so thanks for pointing that out. Thanks for your thoughtful review and fun/serious learning to your very luck son!
Comment from Hayley Zemontas
Loved this poem, really captures the bustle and excitement of such a lively city that never sleeps, but you did it in a light hearted way making it read smoothly and like a story. The image is perfect for the poem as well, I love the bright lights and vibrant colours which again bring New York to life. Good luck for the contest. Hayley x
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
Loved this poem, really captures the bustle and excitement of such a lively city that never sleeps, but you did it in a light hearted way making it read smoothly and like a story. The image is perfect for the poem as well, I love the bright lights and vibrant colours which again bring New York to life. Good luck for the contest. Hayley x
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Hey Layley... thanks so much for this wonderful and thoughtful review of New York... so happy that you stopped by. Thanks so much. Yours, diana
Comment from donette1914
wow you did an outstanding job and making this come to life of New York
very well penned
very good artwork
and always a pleasure to read your work
thank you so much for sharing
I hope for the best in the contest
donette1914 Aug 7, 2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
wow you did an outstanding job and making this come to life of New York
very well penned
very good artwork
and always a pleasure to read your work
thank you so much for sharing
I hope for the best in the contest
donette1914 Aug 7, 2018
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Thanks so very much... donette... always love having you stop by... yours, diana
Comment from mally mack
I have never been to NYC but this poem makes me want to go there. You make it sound so dynamic and truly full of the hustle and bustle that it has claimed famous. The artwork of course is nothing short of spectacular to accompany it as well!
Great Read - Best Wishes
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
I have never been to NYC but this poem makes me want to go there. You make it sound so dynamic and truly full of the hustle and bustle that it has claimed famous. The artwork of course is nothing short of spectacular to accompany it as well!
Great Read - Best Wishes
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Hey mally... It is soooo hustley and bustley Thanks so much as always kiddo. yours, diana
Comment from Michele Harber
Thank you for this apt description of the city in which I live. I have to admit that the changes in meter threw me and made this a bit harder for me to read, but your descriptions were head-on, and described NYC accurately, warts and all.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
Thank you for this apt description of the city in which I live. I have to admit that the changes in meter threw me and made this a bit harder for me to read, but your descriptions were head-on, and described NYC accurately, warts and all.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Thanks so much Michele. Yours, Diana
Comment from Shanbreen
You remind me of a friend of mine who jumped on a would-be-thief at a department store. The girl jumped on his back -- can you imagine? Anyway, love the poem. It beings to light everything I love about the city, which I often visit. Your poem rhymes well, but, in my opinion, you need some well placed punctuations to make it roll off better on the tongue.
For example,
Below me a manhole rattles subway trains clacking to a screech (comma after rattles?)
Similarly,
A woman cries out a thug just stole her purse
He runs right by me mouthing, an ugly hateful curse (How about a comma after "out" and placing a comma after "me" instead of after "Mouthing"?)
Lest I forget, the poem has some excellent onomatopoeic inclusions: "trains clacking to a screech" and "Ratting and tatting the concrete 'till it's gone." Loved them.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
You remind me of a friend of mine who jumped on a would-be-thief at a department store. The girl jumped on his back -- can you imagine? Anyway, love the poem. It beings to light everything I love about the city, which I often visit. Your poem rhymes well, but, in my opinion, you need some well placed punctuations to make it roll off better on the tongue.
For example,
Below me a manhole rattles subway trains clacking to a screech (comma after rattles?)
Similarly,
A woman cries out a thug just stole her purse
He runs right by me mouthing, an ugly hateful curse (How about a comma after "out" and placing a comma after "me" instead of after "Mouthing"?)
Lest I forget, the poem has some excellent onomatopoeic inclusions: "trains clacking to a screech" and "Ratting and tatting the concrete 'till it's gone." Loved them.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Shanbreen... I can imagine... this is not the first time an imprudent act had crossed my path... It is weird I was so angry and sooooo forceful... two BIG guys actually put a girl down who was screaming. . thanks so much for stopping by kiddo. yours, diana
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem, and a little tour to New York the city that never sleeps. All kinds of people are gathered there but hardly know their neighbors.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
|
A very well-written rhyming poem, and a little tour to New York the city that never sleeps. All kinds of people are gathered there but hardly know their neighbors.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
-
Hey... Thanks so much Sandra!
