Haiku (old tree bows in wind)
Haiku Poem - 5-7-517 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is such an excellent haiku. Your first two lines are interconnected, as they should be, and they perfectly describe a significant moment in nature. Your last line is priceless to me with the play on words of "snap." You use expressive words to depict that old tree--brittle, creak, strain.
You did a very nice job. Good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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This is such an excellent haiku. Your first two lines are interconnected, as they should be, and they perfectly describe a significant moment in nature. Your last line is priceless to me with the play on words of "snap." You use expressive words to depict that old tree--brittle, creak, strain.
You did a very nice job. Good luck.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Debbie, thank you for taking the time to review my haiku poem. Your thoughts are much appreciated. ~DD
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great poem. I like the use of the word 'snap' in the last line. Your picture is a perfect choice for your well-chosen words. Your poem paints a great picture for readers. Best wishes, Jan
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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This is a great poem. I like the use of the word 'snap' in the last line. Your picture is a perfect choice for your well-chosen words. Your poem paints a great picture for readers. Best wishes, Jan
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Jan, thank you for taking the time to review my haiku poem. Your thoughts are much appreciated. ~DD
Comment from pome lover
very good! and what a clever last line.
and what a picture! heavens, it makes me ache just looking at it. But at the same time you really have to admire it's Sticktuitiveness and resistance, bless its tired old heart. Good Haiku and neat entry. good luck.
pome lover
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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very good! and what a clever last line.
and what a picture! heavens, it makes me ache just looking at it. But at the same time you really have to admire it's Sticktuitiveness and resistance, bless its tired old heart. Good Haiku and neat entry. good luck.
pome lover
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Pome lover, thank you for taking the time to review my haiku poem. Your thoughts are much appreciated. ~DD
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you are most welcome
pome lover
Comment from misscookie
Love the artwork you choose to go with your poem and the hue truly set a realistic mood
You capture my imagination from the artwork I vision the old tree saying "At last my struggling days are old thank to this harsh wind."
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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Love the artwork you choose to go with your poem and the hue truly set a realistic mood
You capture my imagination from the artwork I vision the old tree saying "At last my struggling days are old thank to this harsh wind."
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
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MissCookie, thank you for taking the time to review my haiku poem. Your thoughts are much appreciated. ~DD
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You are very welcome and it was my pleasure
cookie
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You are very welcome and it was my pleasure
cookie
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow - great visual even without your chosen image, and I really like that last line as a "break" to the seriousness portrayed in the first two -- great combination!! :) ;) Nice tight haiku with real action. :) :)
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Wow - great visual even without your chosen image, and I really like that last line as a "break" to the seriousness portrayed in the first two -- great combination!! :) ;) Nice tight haiku with real action. :) :)
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Thank you YM Roger for taking the time to review my haiku poem and for the contest wishes. All very much appreciated. ~DD
Comment from Pantygynt
I found myself wondering what pronunciation you were using for 'bows', not that it matters here whether it rhymes with groes or how's because the sense is the same. This haiku is syllabically sound, has to do with nature, and has a kigo -- wind. The Satori line is clever with the hint of a double entendre here. Good luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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I found myself wondering what pronunciation you were using for 'bows', not that it matters here whether it rhymes with groes or how's because the sense is the same. This haiku is syllabically sound, has to do with nature, and has a kigo -- wind. The Satori line is clever with the hint of a double entendre here. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Thanks Pantygynt for your review of my haiku poem. I find myself second guessing my use of the word ?bows? now...hmm
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Perhaps bends? Though I hadn't intended to be critical of 'bows' as either pronunciation would be acceptable.
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I thought bows was more poetic than bends but may have to sleep on it now. Thank you for giving it some thought.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Old Tree Bows in Wind, presented in a 5-7-5 format, works the expected stress of nature's weather cold front into the satori with mixed meanings for trees and us. Nice.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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This haiku, Old Tree Bows in Wind, presented in a 5-7-5 format, works the expected stress of nature's weather cold front into the satori with mixed meanings for trees and us. Nice.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
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Thank you Bill for taking the time to review on my haiku poem. ~DD
